Fortune's Fool
by writetobeararms
Summary: The Cullens move to Forks in the 1940's, and it's Ellie's turn to fall in love and discover her destiny.
1. Going Through Changes

Hi guys! I have finally figured out Ellie's whole story. If you've never read my other fic, The First Sister, it's not that big of deal-- Ellie is Edward's long-lost twin sister who mysteriously has powers of her own. Now, 20 years after joining the Cullens, Ellie has some self-discovery of her own to be doing. This is going to be a bit longer, but I promise it's worth your time!!

As always, I don't own any of Stephenie Meyer's ideas... this is just what happens when you have an overactive imagination and too much time on your hands :) This go around, I also don't own any of the chapter titles... those are just song titles I've borrowed.

**1. Going Through Changes**

_It's hard to accept what you don't understand  
And it's hard to launch without knowing how to land  
And how, when it burns, you can't change a thing  
You can soften the blow, but you can't stop the sting_

_- Going Through Changes by Army of Me_

Washington State, Spring of 1940

Ellie Cullen crashed gracefully through the thick green growth in the forest near her new home in the wild northwest of the country. It was one of the most desolate, gray places she had ever seen before, and the perfect location for her family to finally be reunited after being apart for the past five years. With the near-constant cloud coverage, her family could go out on the town and interact with the townspeople almost every day if they wanted to... almost like they were normal.

Despite the fact that she was wearing an old pair of Emmett's boots, she still maneuvered the forest well. The trees thinned out as she plunged further into the forest, and Ellie found herself in a clearing not unlike one she had visited 20 years ago to the day today. It was infinitely more lush, though. She felt like she was in an exotic rain forest in Brazil or somewhere equally exciting. Not that she had ever been to any of those places before.

It was a perfectly symmetrical circle, and she stopped briefly to wonder at nature's random perfection. Wildflowers were growing everywhere, and it was the first place she had seen in weeks that had any color other than gray and green. There were yellow, purple, blue, and red flowers splattered throughout the clearing, trying to break through the thick greenness of the place.

Ellie had a sudden impulse to lie down in the exact center of the clearing. Not caring if the dress she wore got ruined, she closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the forest. It was soft here, and peaceful.

Since Ellie had joined the family, they had moved to upstate New York, where Carlisle found Rosalie, and then to the hills of Tennessee, where Rosalie found Emmett, and now to Washington state. As Carlisle had predicted, Ellie hadn't aged a week, and her supernatural qualities were as strong as ever.

Rosalie had become the older sister Ellie joked she had never wanted. Ellie got along with her much better than her twin did (Rose and Edward were like oil and water, Esme would say), but the girls still squabbled occasionally, like any true sisters. There were times when Rose could be an absolute snob, a trait Ellie had never been able to relate to, and that was when she found herself disagreeing with Rose most often. Rosalie also had a fiery, shameless temper. No one who stood in her way could win.

Nevertheless, Rose had some serious emotional scars, just like Ellie and Esme, and the three women were inextricably bonded to one another. The night Rose had gone on her revenge killing spree in Rochester, it was Ellie who found her, calmed her down, and brought her back home.

When Rose found Emmett, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Emmett was the comic relief of the family, and had the unique gift of being able to diffuse just about any serious situation. Emmett got along with everyone, and was incredibly easy going. He had accepted becoming a vampire without a fuss, most likely due to Rosalie. He was Rose's other half (her better half, on some days), and was the only one who was ever able to calm her down. The two were head-over-heels in love with one another, and Ellie was extremely happy when the two decided to get married.

Ellie's mind flitted from thought to thought in the clearing, just like a hummingbird stealing nectar from a group of flowers. Finally, her thoughts settled on her siblings' return, as they almost always did lately. It was nice to be an only child for the first time in her almost forty years of life, but it was lonely being the only one in the house with Esme and Carlisle. Although she was looking forward to seeing Rosalie and Emmett come home after their five year, world-wide honeymoon, she couldn't help worrying that they had changed.

And, as always in the past five years, her thoughts found their way to Edward. Rose and Em had run into him in Russia, and they had sent a letter saying he was ready to come home. They weren't sure when, but they could tell it would be sometime soon. In the week since she and her parents had gotten that letter, Ellie had woken up every morning with a sinking feeling of dread, wondering if today would be the day he would show up at their doorstep.

Ellie frowned, and worked to push that thought back out of her head. She hadn't spoken to Edward since Rosalie and Emmett's wedding five years ago, and she wasn't looking forward to seeing him again. Although ever fiber in her being ached from missing him, the words they had exchanged before he left to "discover himself" ran through her mind on constant repeat. She tried to push them away, but failed, and lost herself in her flawless memories as the sound of the forest surrounded her.

In the twenty years Ellie had been a Cullen, her abilities had remained as strong as ever. Sometimes she wondered if she was even more able than her family—at least with her sense of smell, she was able to pick up on things that the others didn't really notice. For instance, when Rosalie and Emmett had joined their family, only Ellie was able to pick up on their changing scent as they transformed from human to vampire. For a few months after their respective transformations, the sweet scent that Ellie associated with her family became too sweet and icy fresh, and she got into the habit of automatically opening the windows in whatever room she entered to tone down the smell. She had been ashamed when Edward figured out what she was doing, but it had been the only way she was able to stay in the house for extended periods of time.

She had found that she was even able to hunt. She had secretly gone out with Emmett one afternoon, and after he gave her a few pointers, she caught a deer with her bare hands. Granted, it wasn't nearly as hard for her as it was for him because something about her seemed to attract the animal, but Emmett told her it still counted in his book after she had let the deer go. After that day, she would sneak out and challenge herself with what she could catch. After she had managed to wrestle a giant grizzly bear to the ground, she came home to Emmett proud as anything, even if she had been almost shredded by the beast.

However, there were still a few differences between herself and the rest of the Cullens, besides her more perceptive nose. For instance, she couldn't run half as fast as they could, and she didn't have their thirst for blood. In fact, she was repulsed by the smell that would sometime come in with her family after hunting. She didn't eat, but she slept, and her heart still beat as strong as ever.

After experimenting one day, she and Emmett discovered that her blood didn't quench vampires' thirst like other blood. In fact, Emmett told her that her blood made him woozy for a few hours and numbed his senses a little bit. He nicknamed her "Moonshine" for the intoxicating effects and strong, bitter taste her blood had. Edward, Rose, and Esme had been furious after they discovered what she and Emmett had been up to. Carlisle, on the other hand, was absolutely fascinated and conducted a few experiments of his own, coming to the same conclusion they had—after reprimanding Emmett and Ellie nonetheless for being irresponsible, of course (after Esme's chiding).

For a year or so leading up to Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, the six Cullens lived as a happy family. Or so it would seem. Ellie couldn't quite place her finger on exactly when the change started, but something in Edward seemed to crack during all the wedding planning.

He had been going through a cantankerous phase; everyone in the family had picked up on it. Emmett called Edward the "Sullen Cullen," much to his chagrin. Ellie guessed she was the only one who knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling, however. Esme assumed he was lonely without a mate; Carlisle said he needed to get a hobby.

The fact of the matter was that Edward began questioning his own humanity, for a lack of a better word. Although he would play it off in his frequent theological discussions with Carlisle, Ellie knew that Edward was thinking he had no soul, and thus no shot at an afterlife, no matter how pious a vampire he was. He thought of himself as a monster. Shortly after Ellie realized that, Edward started blocking his thoughts from her, something he had never done in the 15 years that had passed since they had first found each other that fateful day. It was disconcerting. Ellie was worried about her twin as the days to Rose's wedding grew nearer, but that concern got pushed to the side, as being Rosalie's maid of honor was a full-time job.

The night after Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, once the newlyweds had been sent on their honeymoon, Ellie was home by herself, reveling in the calm of her family home. Edward hadn't gone hunting in a while (his eyes had been black as tar during the ceremony), so she assumed he was out in the woods somewhere, trolling for mountain lions. She thought the fresh air and some alone time might do him well. She was downstairs playing around on the piano when she heard a scratching of pen against paper coming from somewhere in the house.

Carlisle and Esme weren't around (Ellie didn't really want to know where they were, judging by the way they were looking at each other all doe-eyed during the ceremony), and Ellie's curiosity piqued over who was home. She smelled Edward and absently wondered how he had snuck past her. There was something acrid about his scent, and she could only guess what he had tracked in from the woods. She stopped playing, and followed the sound and scent into Carlisle's office upstairs.

Opening the door, she saw Edward hunched over a sheet of paper, scribbling a note. There was a packed bag at the door, and he was dressed for traveling, jacket and all. Ellie looked searchingly at the back of Edward's head, trying to tap into his thoughts, to no avail.

"You smell funny," she had said jokingly, about to flop onto the leather sofa across from Carlisle's desk. "So where are we going this time?"

If there was any benefit to having her twin as a partner-in-crime in this house full of perfectly matched lovers, it was the random adventures Edward would drag her on whenever things got too mushy. She loved their trips, but was surprised he hadn't mentioned anything about it before. It was no matter; she was just as fast as he was, and could probably pack and be downstairs, ready to go, in under five minutes.

He looked up at her painfully, and she froze, mid-flop. Her brother's eyes were a deep, rich ruby. They were much darker than either Rose or Emmett's had been when they underwent their transformation, and it made him look incredibly sinister. She knew there was only one reason for his eyes to not be their usual shade of brown.

He _had_ been hunting, only this time humans instead of giant cats. The acrid smell she picked up around him was the scent of human blood. Acid rose up in the back of her throat as she looked at her brother in disgust. His stench was burning her eyes and nose now, and it raised the small hairs on the back of her neck and down her arms.

"Edward, what happened?" She spoke through her hand, which covered her nose and mouth, trying to filter out his stinging stench.

"Nothing happened." Edward's voice was cold and inhuman, and very different than what Ellie was used to. It hurt her ears to hear him speak. If her hands weren't so preoccupied with covering her mouth in shock, they probably would have gone to cover her ears.

"What do you mean, nothing happened? This was just a mistake, right?" She wasn't ready to believe that her brother had killed someone willingly, but the way he was acting, she was beginning to have her doubts.

"It was no mistake."

"You mean to tell me you _hunted_ someone? A person? With a family and children and a job and people who loved them? Was it someone we know?" Her words were coming out quickly, and she could tell she was on the verge of hyperventilating. Her brother had just ended someone's life. On purpose.

"Ellie, listen to me. He was a bad person; he was about to do the same thing to some girl that happened to Rosalie. I pulled him off her. I saved the girl."

An angry lump was growing in her throat. All she could think of was the poor girl. Would she realize Edward's intentions, or was she cowering somewhere, scared to death and permanently damaged from what she had just witnessed? What was Edward thinking?

"Edward Cullen, it is not your job to play God," she reprimanded sternly. "You don't get to decide who dies and who doesn't. There is a plan for everyone, and God would have made that man pay without your assistance." She tried to lock eyes with him, but his eyes flit nervously around the room. Her brother looked like a wild animal trapped here in Carlisle's office.

"I knew you would say that. That's why I'm leaving. This is my nature, and maybe I'm just not as strong as Carlisle and everyone else. I don't need be judged for following my instincts. I need to be on my own for awhile."

"So you're leaving? Now?"

He nodded, silent. Ellie was even more exasperated when she realized he was still blocking his thoughts from her. Where exactly was he planning on going? Murderer or not, he was still her brother, and she couldn't bear the thought of being away from him for any extended period of time.

"But you're coming back, right? This isn't for good."

"I don't know. I don't know if I am or not. Vampires go on their own all the time, Eleanor. It's in our nature."

Ellie flinched at the use of her full name, and knew then that she was fighting a losing battle. She realized she had been since the first time he blocked his thoughts from her weeks ago. She was speechless that he was leaving her, maybe forever, until he sealed the letter he had been working on and got up from his chair.

"I know you aren't a killer," she spoke softly. "You do not have an evil bone in your body. You are a good person, Edward Cullen."

"You have no idea what I am," Edward said harshly, glaring down at her with fathomless red eyes. "I am not a person, Eleanor! I am a vampire. I am meant to be a monster. You have no idea the thirst that rips through me, through all of us. Until you feel that, you have no idea what we are. You don't understand, and you never will." His words hurt her, and brought angry tears to her eyes.

"So, what? You're just going to leave, without so much as a goodbye to Esme and Carlisle? To me? You think a note will somehow make everything better?"

"Esme and Carlisle will understand what I'm going through, eventually. You clearly won't." He got up to leave, grabbing his bag. Ellie deflated, feeling as though she had been slapped. She ran to the door, trying to block his exit.

"Edward, please don't leave," she said desperately. "We can fix this; it's just a fight, and you'll feel better. Eventually, you will. We'll work this out together, just like we do everything else."

"This is not just a fight," he said coolly, gracefully maneuvering past her. "We're very different from each other, and this was bound to happen eventually. Did you honestly think we were going to be able to spend the rest of our lives together, brother and sister for all of eternity?" That was exactly what she had thought, actually. His words stung. The tears started falling now, and she tried to scrub them away with the heel of her palm.

"Your heart beats; mine doesn't," Edward continued, speaking more softly. "You can have a life out in the human world, I can't. I might as well be dead to you, because that's just what I am. You need to move on with your life. You don't belong here, in a house full of vampires. You belong out in the real world with humans, with people whose hearts bleed and tears fall like yours. I'm moving on. So should you. You don't belong with us. You never did."

With that, he walked out the room and down the stairs. Ellie was frozen in the doorway. He had never said anything hateful to her in her life. He and Rose would get into fights and shout cruel things at each other, but in fifteen years she had never even gotten in one fight with Edward. He had never even thought a mean word at her. She felt like her guts were about to fall out, and clutched at her sides as she heard the front door open.

She no longer cared that tears were streaming down her face, mocking her, showing yet another difference between her and her beloved brother. Channeling Rose's sense for dramatics, she threw herself against the second story railing and shouted down to him. His hand was still on the open door, and he had hesitated before leaving the house.

"You _are _dead to me, Edward Cullen! I never want to see or speak to you again!" He turned around in the doorway, and she half-expected him to come back to the house, apologizing and admitting his error.

Instead, he smirked at her and said, "I told you, I'm already dead. Look around, Eleanor. You're the only one who's not."

She picked up a vase full of flowers leftover from the wedding, and threw it at his head as hard as she could as he shut the door. The ceramic vase smashed into dust as it crashed against the just-closed door. The strength of her throw cracked the front door in two.

She sunk down to the hardwood floor after she was sure Edward was gone, and stayed there, motionless and unblinking, until Esme and Carlisle returned home around daybreak. They had assumed she had been upset over finding Edward had left, never realizing there had been words exchanged.

Edward hadn't even bothered leaving a note for anyone else, and Ellie wondered if his plan was to sneak out of the house without her ever knowing. When she was in a bad mood, she would laugh at the irony of the situation. First her biological mother left her, and then her brother. Rose and Emmett were gone, for all intents and purposes. She wondered who would be next-- when Carlisle and Esme would wisen up and disappear as well.

* * *

**So that's what's been going on in Ellie's life the past few years. Poor thing. Whaddya think?**


	2. Stand Still, Look Pretty

_I am slowly falling apart  
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start  
You might think it's easy being me  
You just stand still, look pretty_

_Sometimes I find myself shaking  
In the middle of the night  
And then it hits me and I can't  
Even believe this is my life_

_- Stand Still, Look Pretty by The Wreckers_

Ellie blinked several times, and pulled herself upright. She must have drifted to sleep out here, and she had woken up with a general feeling of malaise like she did whenever she relived Rosalie and Emmett's wedding five years before. She wondered how long she had been asleep—although the sky was still grey as ever, it seemed to have darkened somewhat.

As she oriented herself, she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her. She listened carefully to her surroundings, but couldn't pick up on anything. It was eerily silent. Ellie didn't hear a mouse, a squirrel, nothing. She suddenly felt alarmed, and looked around her little meadow.

She finally picked up on someone—or something—breathing nearby. From the sound of the breath, it sounded like it was a big something. Its heart was beating, too, so that ruled out Carlisle and Esme. She stood up, unsure of what was out there, and pondered her next course of action. She wanted to run away, but curiosity got the best of her and she stayed put.

A branch cracked behind her, and heavy, padded footsteps started approaching. Her breathing caught, and her heart started racing. She didn't know why she felt so scared—if she could take on an angry grizzly bear, she could surely take whatever this thing was. For goodness' sake, she lived with vampires—what was she doing being scared of something creeping in the forest? It wasn't the first curious creature that had come out to greet her. Maybe it was just the setting—the green-tinged air and grey sky created the atmosphere of a horror movie.

Suddenly, she saw a big, dark creature moving toward her across the forest clearing, and all her brave thoughts were sucked out of her along with her breath. The thing looked like a wolf, except it was about three or four times larger than any dog she had ever seen. It was the size of a pony. She could probably ride it if she wanted to, she thought jokingly, but she didn't think there was any situation that would ever make her want to climb on the thing's back.

Her heart had stopped in fear. She was way, way outmatched in size, and she backed up until she hit a tree. What was this thing? It made any grizzly bear look like a house pet. She continued staring at it, and clung to the tree like her life depended on it. It stared right back at her. Its eyes drew her in—they looked so intelligent, so human… and curious. Was it possible for an animal to show all this through its eyes? Maybe she was still dreaming.

The giant salt and pepper gray wolf sat down at the very furthest point from her, and lay down. If she was reading it correctly, it was showing that it didn't mean any harm to her. Her eyes were wide and unblinking. Maybe she was losing her mind here. Surely wild animals didn't plan out their actions like this.

Incredibly, the wolf smiled kindly. No, wolves couldn't smile _kindly—_they couldn't smile at all, she corrected herself. Really, though, as she looked into his eyes, it was like a human was staring back at her. She found all the fear flow out of her to be replaced by burning curiosity. The creature's tail wagged, and the tension disappeared. She smiled, but was still a bit cautious. She inched toward it; her hands outstretched, palm side up, to show no aggression. In a split second, she had gone from being terrified to wishing, hoping, that the creature would stay. She had never seen anything so magnificent, so glossy, so… perfect. The wolf's tail swept back and forth excitedly as she got within arm's distance. The wolf impatiently scooted closer toward her.

Reaching one small hand toward the wolf's snout, she laughed in surprise as he licked her hand and nosed it so she had no choice but to pet him. She didn't realize she had been holding her breath until now.

"You're not so scary after all, are you?" Ellie smiled as she ran her fingers through his short silvery fur. The wolf snorted, and sat up. The snort reminded her of laughter—like what Emmett would do if she joked about him not being all that strong right after he crushed something to dust. When the creature sat up, he was eye-to-eye with her.

"I'm sorry. You're really quite, quite terrifying."

Another laugh-snort. He smelled salty like the ocean, and she was reminded of the beach she and Carlisle had driven past the other day. What was it called—First Beach? Something like that. It was a warm smell. The dog panted happily beside her, and she continued petting him.

"You know, I never had a pet. But I can see why people keep them now," she spoke. Was she really trying to start a conversation with a dog? It wasn't like he could respond. She really was beginning to lose it.

Suddenly, there was a howl not too far away. She was jolted out of her reverie with her new friend as he sat at full attention. He whined slightly, and looked at Ellie as if he didn't want to leave her.

"Go on, your friends need you," she said reluctantly. She would be sad to see him go. Another howl broke through the thick air, this time sounding more urgent and slightly authoritative. If that was possible. "Go on. I'll see you around," she whispered as he disappeared into the woods.

"Dang, that one was close!" Ellie whipped around at the sound of her burly brother-in-law in the clearing now. "We got ourselves some wolves out here, Rose! Did you hear that?"

She watched as the pair she hadn't seen in ages made its way into the meadow. They both looked exactly the same, except maybe a bit better dressed. Her sister rolled her eyes, pretending to be annoyed with Emmett, and failing as always.

"Oh my goodness, you really DO exist!" Ellie squealed as she threw herself at them.

"Hey there, Moonshine. Long time, no see."

"Ugh, something smells. Who were you talking to?" Rose asked after all greetings were exchanged. Her nose was crinkled.

"Oh," Ellie said sheepishly, sniffing her hair and not finding what was so offensive to Rosalie. "No one. Well, not really no one…" She broke off, trying to figure out how to explain the fact that she was just talking to a dog like it was a person without making it sound like she had lost her mind.

"Moonshine just made some imaginary friends, Rose," Emmett joked with a big grin as he clapped Ellie on her back. "Leave her be. Not like there's anything else to do in this place. It's our fault for leaving her."

"If it's anyone's fault, it's Edward's," Rosalie proclaimed haughtily. "I still can't believe that boy just ran off and deserted you all with no explanation."

Ellie bit her lip. She really didn't want to talk about that.

"Rose, give it a rest," Emmett intervened quietly.

Rosalie huffed out air, as if to indicate she wasn't done with the topic, but she would give it a temporary break.

"Well, El," she started with a complete change in tone. "We have plenty of presents back at the house. That's why we came to get you, Carlisle and Esme wouldn't open theirs without you too."

Without another word, Emmett threw Ellie over his shoulders, guffawed at the thrilled shriek that escaped from her, and they sprinted off toward the house. As the trees blurred around her, Ellie could have sworn she saw her silver wolf again, following them in shock. But before she could react, they were in front of their home—the hiking trip that had taken her all day had apparently taken them only a few minutes. Ellie wasn't able to shake the feeling that they were being watched as she followed her brother and sister into the large white house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that week, Carlisle and Esme decided it would do the family some good to go out together—family bonding, they called it. No one seemed to mention that the family was missing one crucial member. Ellie wondered if her parents, like herself, were trying not to get their hopes up with the promise of Edward's return. Regardless, the remaining five members of the Cullen family had plans to spend the day in Port Angeles, a small port town north of where they lived.

Ellie had woken up before sunrise that Saturday. She guessed she was excited about the upcoming outing with her family, but she couldn't tell. She couldn't seem to kick the unsettling feeling she had woken up with in the meadow days before. It was maddening, and she felt like the figure in Greek mythology who had the axe hanging over his head by one strand of hair. It felt as if something major, something drastically life-altering was about to occur, and she didn't like it. She had spent the past twenty years reveling in the constancy of immortality—nothing changed very quickly when you and all your loved ones had eternity in front of you, and she liked that.

She started the tub in her enormous bathroom. A bath always helped clear her mind—something about the hot water made it more than just literally cleansing. Her bedroom and bathroom had an open fireplace in the wall the two rooms shared, and Ellie stoked the fire before hopping in the tub. Ellie loved this house, and she wondered absently if it was bad to love something material so much.

The big white house was 100% Esme's design, and Ellie felt as though every corner of the house, every wall, every slat of the hardwood floor was filled with the family matriarch's love for them all. The house was spacious and airy—something Ellie guessed would shock the normal person once they realized vampires lived there. The huge windows which dominated the wall space brought the outdoors in, and Ellie suspected the airiness was so her family wouldn't feel so trapped when they were housebound on the few sunny days here.

Every member of the family had their own room designed specifically for them. Ellie and Edward shared the third floor, although Ellie kept Edward's bedroom door shut. The large room opposing hers seemed to mimic the gaping hole her brother had left in her heart, and she felt she could ignore it easier if the door was closed. Her room was enormous, and faced the front of the house. The ceiling was slanted where the roof pitched, and it gave the room personality. One wall was covered in bookshelves and was filled with Ellie's favorites. The opposing side had a large window that jutted out over the front of the house, and Ellie frequently sat there to read and look out into the forest.

Ellie didn't know what heaven looked like, but as she lay back in the giant bathtub with a fire roaring in the frosted glass wall it shared with her bedroom, she imagined it would look pretty much like this. She closed her eyes and let the hot, sudsy bath water work its way through her tense muscles.

"El, are you ready yet?!"

Ellie was yanked out of her meditation moments later by her flaxen-headed sister, who barged into her bathroom.

"Rose, relax, I just woke up. It's still early!" Still, Ellie climbed out of the tub and wrapped herself in the fluffy towel Rosalie had procured from its resting place in front of the fire. The warmed towel was noticeably cooler where her sister's hands had been, and the cold spots sent a shiver down her spine.

Rosalie paid Ellie no attention, and guided her to a chair in front of her vanity mirror, which she hardly ever used. Rose yanked her cold fingers through Ellie's wavy bronze hair, forcibly raking it back with two hair combs.

"Ow, Rose, ease up. I'm not a doll."

"Oh, believe me; I know you're not a doll. Now get up and get dressed! I want to get to everything in Port Angeles today."

Ellie didn't have the heart to tell Rosalie that Port Angeles was probably no more than a few stores and a harbor. When her sister got excited like this, it was impossible to sway her. Ellie had missed having Rosalie in her life, so instead of trying to argue, she obediently got dressed with the clothes Rosalie threw at her and followed her downstairs, her heart happy (or as happy as it could be with half of it missing) as she held her sister's hand.

Carlisle had borrowed one of his coworker's boats for the afternoon, and after spending the morning perusing what little Port Angeles had to offer (and pretending to not notice the stares of the townspeople), the family decided to take the boat out onto the sound. Even Rose was awed by the lushness of the scenery here, and the majestic way the ocean flowed seamlessly onto the rocky beaches, which flowed seamlessly into the thick forests. Even on a grey day like today, the rich colors of the water and the forest swirled around them all. It was beautiful.

They had spent hours out on the water, and it seemed like no one really wanted to go back. It was relaxing out here being away from the public eye and everything else. As far as she could see, there wasn't a single other boat out this far with them. It was like being in a fairy tale or some other fantastical story, and Ellie imagined them all being castaways at sea, or pirates. She smiled as she looked around at her family, imagining the roles each would play.

Ellie watched as Carlisle wrapped his arm around Esme, who smiled as he whispered something in her ear. Something about that action resonated within her, and she was suddenly racked with loneliness she had never really felt before. This was different than just missing her other half, although the fact that Edward was gone certainly didn't help. She frowned, and walked away across the small expanse of the boat towards the hull, trying to pinpoint what exactly bothered her.

She stared broodingly across the ocean and at the tiny waves that whipped against the side of their boat as she thought about things. She was overwhelmingly saddened by how small she felt out here in the ocean. Her world consisted of the four people on this boat, plus one more. They were her life and everything she knew, yet the world had so, so much more to it. Ellie felt herself slipping into a deep tunnel of depression as one sad thought led to another, which led to another.

Carlisle was making a difference by saving lives. Esme was making a difference by taking care of everyone who would let her. Edward was out there, doing God knows what, but discovering things, seeing things that she had only ever seen in pictures or heard of in stories. Emmett and Rose had done that, too. And what had she done? In forty years of being on this world, Ellie couldn't find a single thing that she had done with herself. She felt like she was drowning out here, even though she was safely above water, steadily breathing the fresh ocean air.

Suddenly, Esme appeared at her side, and her mother wrapped a cool arm around her waist.

"Baby, what are you thinking about so intently?"

Ellie continued looking out at the ocean, and arranged her face into a smile before turning to face her. No need to worry Esme about these things. She seemed to be preoccupied enough these days over Edward being gone.

"Nothing, really. Just life."

"You had me worried. You never look so intense. It looked like you were considering jumping ship." Ellie wondered at the multiple meanings of that—as in leaving the family, as in flinging herself across the edge of the boat into the water... Esme was quite observant. Again, Ellie carefully arranged her features before replying.

"Don't worry, Esme. I'm not going anywhere." It didn't come out as lightly as she had intended. Ellie sighed as she realized she had nowhere else to go anyhow, and hoped Esme didn't notice. Esme didn't respond, but instead pulled her closer and kissed her on top of her head. There was a moment of silence, and Esme seemed to watch the ocean breeze pull Ellie's hair back in tendrils.

"Ellie baby, Carlisle was just saying how busy the hospital is going to be—one of the nurses is getting married, and her last day is next week. They could definitely use some help if you're interested."

"Oh, Esme… I don't know how much help I would be. I don't know anything about that kind of thing."

"Carlisle and the other staff would train you. You would be a volunteer nurse and help out with the less demanding things at first. I think you would be amazing at it; you have such a big heart and incredible patience." Ellie looked into her mother's eyes and saw the hope and the pride Esme had for her, and it melted the coldness in her heart, if only for a moment.

"Sure." She gave a small smile, and Esme beamed at her before leaving her to her thoughts again.

Not too much later, they headed back to the port. The rain had started drizzling again, but none of her family reacted to it. Ellie wondered if that would make them stand out, that none of them was shrieking or trying to cover themselves, but then realized there was hardly anyone else out to notice. The rest of her family was all laughing at some joke she had missed as Emmett and Carlisle secured the small boat to the dock. She felt the sadness that had taken hold of her so strongly out at sea grab hold of her again. She turned away from her gregarious family and glanced down the dock.

The only other people that were out were a few docks over. There was a larger fishing boat getting secured and unloaded by a group of young men with tanned skin and long, black hair. None of them seemed to be concerned about the rain, either, and they moved with surprising grace.

One in particular was standing back from the group, like she was. Upon closer inspection, he was clearly the youngest one there, although he towered over some of the older men. He looked to be in his twenties. He was leaning nonchalantly against the pier, and was frowning at something she couldn't see at sea.

He was infinitely tall, and his hair was short, but messy. It stood out from the rest of the men, who all had long, perfectly straight black hair tied neatly back. He was wearing a dirty white shirt and dark slacks, which made his muscular reddish-brown skin stand out. She noticed a small tattoo on the inside of his wrist, a grouping of numbers. It added to his rebellious appearance. He looked like a statue of a Grecian god standing there—strong, immovable, and timelessly handsome. She racked her brain trying to remember the name of the god of rebellion, if there was such a thing.

Suddenly, his eyes met hers, and she blushed, immediately looking away. What was she thinking, staring at some strange man like this? Glancing furtively back at him out of the corner of her eye, she saw he was now smiling out at the ocean. When he smiled, his teeth glowed like her siblings. She wondered what made his so white. It surely wasn't venom. Maybe the fact that they were framed by perfectly symmetrical, dark red lips. He had a dimple, but only in his right cheek. He winked as he caught her looking at him again. She blushed deeper, but couldn't help smiling down at her shoes.

When she felt brave enough to look up again, he was with three other men, and they seemed to be arguing about something. His one-dimple smile was gone, and the frown was back in place. There was something about him that seemed familiar, but she couldn't place it.

Taking stock of him again, she realized that the three men who had joined him were now glaring at her and her family, their eyes hard and cruel. She was taken by surprise—by now, she was used to others staring at her family, at their beauty and grace, but she had never seen anyone glare maliciously at them before.

"Who are they?" Rosalie was at her side. The rest of her family, who were all ambling slowly back to the car they had taken, stopped suddenly and instinctively turned to what the two girls faced. They turned too quickly, too gracefully, too inhumanly, Ellie realized after trying to look at them through strangers' eyes.

"They must be from the reservation nearby. Either the Quileute or Makah tribe," Carlisle explained, always informed and knowledgeable.

"I don't like the way they're looking," Emmett growled. He was starting to get riled up and protective, and Ellie found herself worrying about the boy she had been looking at beforehand, much to her surprise. He was now trying to positively ignore the entire situation by staring back out at the sea. His eyes were what reminded her of something, she realized, but she couldn't remember what.

"Now, now. Just ignore them. They haven't done anything to us," Esme said in a soothing voice, before continuing the walk up to the car.

"Not yet," Emmett mumbled under his breath before following her.

Ellie was the last one to follow, being led gently by the small of her back by Carlisle. Failing to resist the urge, she turned her head over her shoulder and looked at the docks again, her eyes searching until she found what she was looking for. Although the rest of the group had begun working again, the three men were still now talking in a tight circle with one another. The one she was looking for was standing, not quite separate from the huddle, but not quite part of it, staring at her and only her with a look so intensely painful that her breath caught and her heart skipped a beat.

* * *

**Poor little emo Ellie!! Things will get better for her, I promise.**


	3. First Day of My Life

_Yours is the first face that I saw  
I think I was blind before I met you  
Now I don't know where I am  
I don't know where I've been  
But I know where I want to go_

_by Bright Eyes_

_

* * *

  
_

Time passed quickly once Ellie started working with Carlisle at the regional hospital. Every day, she still woke up with the sense of dread that she still couldn't pinpoint whether it had to do with Edward (supposedly) coming home at any moment, the loneliness that had grappled her at the docks weeks ago, or whether it was just a natural reaction to waking up, day after day, to another gray day.

She seemed to have found her calling here—for whatever reason, the patients loved her at the hospital. She wondered if there was a similarity between the patients and the animals in the woods, but was hesitant to voice that opinion aloud. Maybe she would offend someone by suggesting the humans and animals were close to the same? Carlisle, at the very least, would be quick to point out the difference.

Another plus of working at the hospital was the bonding time it gave her with her father. It was amazing to watch him in action—his devotion to his job and his patients was awe-inspiring. Ellie was also impressed by his incredible will power. The first time she had seen a patient bleeding in front of him, she had been nervous, but Carlisle didn't even hold his breath. He called it mind over matter, but in Ellie's opinion, it was nothing short of a miracle. Luckily, the nurse she had been working with chalked her overreaction up to her being squeamish.

"So how do you like it here so far, sweetheart?" Carlisle asked her one day. The pair had taken to spending the lunch hour in Carlisle's office, pretending to be sharing lunch.

"It's amazing," Ellie answered after a long moment of consideration. "The patients here are so fragile and so breakable. On one hand, it makes me feel so different from them, but on the other it makes me feel like they absolutely need me here. I guess it's nice feeling needed."

"Yes, I agree," Carlisle chuckled. "It's humbling to realize how our special… gifts, I suppose you could call them, are truly special." Carlisle grew pensive. "For me, at the very least, I feel as though this makes up for what I've done. Saving a life for the lives I've taken makes me feel less of a monster, I suppose." Ellie stared at her father figure. There were several adjectives and metaphors she could use to describe him, but monster was nowhere near close. Did he really think of himself as that? Deity, angel, miracle worker were closer to what he really was. And the four lives he supposedly took were already on their way out—and all four of them would have died within minutes if he hadn't saved them.

"Carlisle, I don't think anyone views what you've done as taking a life. You saved them."

Carlisle looked at her with a funny smile. "And the lives they've taken?"

This stopped Ellie. She was thinking of Edward, out wherever he was, killing whoever he was. Instantly, she adopted the blank, detached mask she took on whenever he came up. There was a long pause.

"I think you're viewing this the wrong way," she said softly, ignoring the pain in the pit of her stomach. "You've saved us all from whatever mundane lives we were living before. We are all infinitely better off having known you. If you weren't the exact way you are now and hadn't made the exact same decisions you have, I know my life would be significantly more miserable."

Carlisle smiled at her. He reached out for her hand and rubbed it between his icy cement ones. She shivered, but smiled nonetheless at the display of affection.

Suddenly the door was thrown open, and a small boy, around three or four, Ellie guessed, came running in, shrieking with joy. Both Ellie and Carlisle laughed as he made a few laps around the office before running headlong into Ellie's knees. In one motion, Ellie scooped him up as he giggled. The sound resonated deep inside her—she guessed it had just been a long time since she had been around a child.

"Now where do you belong?" Ellie couldn't help smiling at his round, happy face. He had a big piece of rock candy in his hand, which Ellie presupposed was the reason behind his rambunctiousness. His entire mouth was lined in red stickiness. The little boy pointed at the door, and Ellie guessed someone was missing him in the lobby. She made to head out, before sharing a warm look with Carlisle.

As she turned around, she ran into someone enormous standing right outside the doorway.

"Shit," the man mumbled, running his hands through his silky black hair and taking a step back. Ellie stood speechless, face-to-face with the man she had stared at weeks ago on the dock. She blushed bright red as recognition dawned on his face, and glanced down at her feet.

Carlisle, being the ever-graceful Dr. Cullen, maneuvered around the pair on his way back to make rounds. Ellie didn't miss the grin on his face.

"There you are, Isaiah. I was just looking for you." The man reached out for the little boy, and Ellie fluidly handed him over, careful not to make any kind of contact with the man. He was at least a head taller than her, and she was even wearing heels today, courtesy of Rosalie. He still had that curious, one-dimpled smile. They stared at each other for a long moment before she turned around to where the nurse in charge of her was waiting for her at the end of the hallway.

"Eleanor, there's a casting and stitches that need done. Room three; tell Anita that you're taking over."

When she turned back around, the mysterious man was gone. Ellie got the paperwork and the plaster from the nurse's station, before turning and walking to room three. She was in a daze over the encounter, and was kicking herself. She had so many questions for him, and all she could do was stand there, staring at him stupidly.

"Well, luckily, you just got a little scratched up. Your forearm is a clean fracture, which means it will heal quickly. You'll still need to wear a cast for a few weeks, and you'll need a few stitches over your eye." Ellie heard Carlisle's soothing "patient voice" billowing out of room three.

The man from the docks was sitting in the corner of room three, taking up the majority of the free space. Isaiah, the little boy from before, was climbing the man like he was a tree. The patient in question was a seven year old boy, who was sitting on the examining table looking slightly guilty. Carlisle was filling out paperwork. The man from the docks had been watching Carlisle with his brows slightly furrowed until Ellie walked in.

"Ellie, perfect timing," Carlisle said, smiling broadly as he began deftly setting the plaster around the boy's arm. "This is Joshua. He was trying to fly when he fell out of a tree and broke his right arm. As you can see, he also needs stitches above his left eye." Carlisle then went into the more medical explanation, and Ellie tried as hard as she could to pay attention. She was all too aware of the man staring at her, and it was hard to concentrate with her heart pounding in her ears. Was it her, or was it really warm in the small room?

"Why don't you finish the cast while I do the stitches?" Carlisle suggested. Ellie guessed he heard her heart racing, based on the curious expression he was giving her.

In moments, they were done, and Carlisle left Ellie to sign them out. As soon as they were alone, the man wasted no time.

"You were on the docks a few weeks ago, weren't you?"

Ellie gulped, and started to get angry at herself for her reaction to this man. She tried to concentrate on finishing Carlisle's paperwork so they could leave and she could be left in peace once more.

"Uh, yes."

"Was that your family?"

"Yes, I'm Dr. Cullen's sister-in-law." Ellie winced as the words came out like an excessively rehearsed line in a bad play. She blushed again, but couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or because the room's heater seemed to be on the fritz.

"So, Joshua," she continued, addressing the boy. "You're going to have to keep this cast dry for the next six weeks. Come in for a checkup, and then we'll see if you can take the cast off." The boy was nodding. "And no more flying, okay?" She smiled weakly at him before shoving the paperwork toward the man.

She watched from a safe distance as they said goodbye to Carlisle and then walked out to their truck in the pouring rain. The man took off his jacket and wrapped it around the older boy, being sure to cover the cast. She looked down at the crinkled carbon copy of the boy's forms in her hand after they disappeared from her line of sight, searching for a name. Noah Black. Noah, like the ark. She smiled to herself at the irony of having a name like that in a place this rainy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The days continued to pass, and soon enough, it was summer. Not that the weather seemed to notice—it still rained almost daily, and it was only slightly warmer. In addition to waking up with that deadening feeling every day, Ellie now had vivid dreams to go along with it. They all involved her silver wolf to some extent, and the dreams were almost always the same. She was running as fast as she could to catch up with the wolf, who just turned around and smiled a familiar one-dimpled grin. Then the wolf turned into Edward, who disappeared as soon as she got close to him. That's when she would wake up, short of breath with a suffocating sense of loneliness, and would be unable to go to sleep until she heard one of her family members in the house. She kept these nightmares a secret.

One Saturday, she, Rosalie, and Emmett decided to head back up to Port Angeles for the morning. Rosalie had some dresses made that she wanted to pick up, and Ellie had found a bookstore there that she wanted to explore more thoroughly, without the distraction of her family there to hurry her along. Rose and Emmett had dropped her off with the promise of picking her up at noon.

By the time she realized how long she had been in the bookstore, it was well past noon. She cursed her luck as she exited the store into complete sunshine and a crowded main street. Apparently a few hours was all the sky needed to immediately clear out for the first time in the few months she had moved here. She stared helplessly up and down the street, realizing she had no way of getting home until sundown. She could probably kill time in a diner or something, but then remembered she didn't eat. Frowning, she started walking in the direction of home. Maybe once she got into the cover of the forest, Rose or someone could pick her up. Then again, how would they know where she was?

That was when she saw Noah across the street, who looked just as distracted as she did. It surprised her that he wasn't wearing his signature smirk. Apparently he caught sight of her, too.

"Hey! Hey—Ellie, was it? Wait up!" He smiled a heart-stopping smile, holding his hands up in surrender as he approached.

"What do you want?" She hadn't meant that to sound mean, but he frowned slightly at her response.

"Well, I wanted to thank you for taking care of my nephew—he's as good as new now." If the rest of her family's voices were like bells, his was like the roar of an engine. It was a deep, guttural sound, exactly the opposite, but just as magical. Ellie blushed a deep red and looked at her feet.

"Oh. You're welcome." She frowned slightly as she looked up at him. Was that really all he wanted?

At this, he broke into a wide grin. "I thought we should get off to a better start. I'm Noah Black." He stuck out his hand. It was more of a paw, really.

"Eleanor Cullen." When they shook, she tried to seem professional, but her hand all but disappeared into his as a little kid's would.

"Nice to meet you, Eleanor Cullen. So you're part of the new doctor's family?" They had started walking slowly down the sidewalk together.

"Yes, yes I am."

"I like him, he's seems like a good guy. You said you were his sister-in-law?"

"Yes. He and his wife, my sister, took my twin brother and I in after our parents died." She was thinking on her feet, and all she could do was recite their Rochester story. She hoped it didn't come out as fake as it sounded to her.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Ellie nodded wordlessly, trying not to notice the pain it caused her to mention her brother. "So a twin, huh? I always wanted one of those. Instead I just get a pain-in-the-ass older brother."

"Older brothers can be that, on occasion," she said, smiling as she thought of Emmett.

"Whoa, there. That smile could put the sun out of business. And the sun is actually out in full force today, too, for once. Show some respect!" She laughed at this, and he smiled in response. "Great, now you're going to shame it away, and it's never going to come out again. Not that it does too often any way." There was an amicable pause as they ambled down the sidewalk together.

"Say, what are you doing right now?"

"Right now? I'm walking home."

"Well, have you ever been to First Beach?"

"Is that on the reservation? No, I haven't--"

"Great!" he interrupted enthusiastically, and began walking backwards, facing her. "There's a place I always like to go to when the sun's out and I don't have anything to do. You've never seen anything like it, I bet. Trust me, it's amazing."

"Oh, no; thank you, really, but I should be getting home…"

"Shh." He actually put one large, warm finger across her lips, shushing her. His sudden closeness made her heart skip a beat. "Trust me," he repeated, softly this time. "'Sides, I won't make you walk home. C'mon."

Noah smiled his knee-buckling smile at her, and grabbed her hand. Even if she had wanted to resist, she wouldn't have been able to bring herself to do it. The combination of his charming smile and strong, warm hand could have moved a mountain, and she trailed behind him in a daze as he led her to his beat-up truck.


	4. Flying High

_I know, oh yes  
I know that we can't be together  
But, I just like to dream  
It's so strange  
The way our paths have crossed  
How we were brought together  
Hmmm, it's written in the stars it seems_

_Flying High by Jem_

_

* * *

  
_

As Ellie fearlessly dangled her legs off the side of a cliff later that afternoon, she drank in her surroundings. Noah had been right, this spot was incredible. The cliff overlooked the ocean and the rocky beach, in addition to the tops of the trees all around them. She could see for miles, and the view was breathtaking.

The wind that gently blew across them made her feel like she was a bird as her bronze hair flew out behind her. The sun made the rocks sparkle, and she was amazed by all the colors that came out. At first glance, you just saw boring gray rocks, but if you bothered to look closer, you could see all kinds of sparkling reds and blues and greens, sanded smooth by the sea salt in the air. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

She and Noah had spent the better part of the afternoon together. Noah was funny, and didn't hesitate to make a joke out of any situation, but he was also sincere and profound. He was like the La Push rocks—if you didn't bother to look closer, you would just see his irreverence. But by not looking closer, you missed out on his most beautiful, awe-inspiring parts.

Noah was 20, and after graduating the small Quileute school, had left to go to college and had just returned to La Push that month for the first time in two years. He had dreams of seeing the world, but he was returning to be a teacher at the school on the reservation in the fall instead. He had even bigger dreams for his tribe, and those dreams had the highest priority in his life. The country held deep-seeded prejudice for any Native Americans, and Noah wanted to inspire the children on the reservation to overcome these prejudices using their intellect. He wanted to help shape the minds of his tribe's future leaders, and help them become influential, intelligent adults. Ellie was blown away by his passion.

When Noah looked at her, shivers shot down her spine. His black eyes seemed to burn into her soul at times, and Ellie wondered if that was just a trick of the sun.

The pair had been sitting in amicable silence, drinking in the soon-to-be setting sun, when Ellie asked a question that had been bothering her all afternoon.

"Noah, I've been wondering something."

"Another question?" He was lying down with his eyes closed, absorbing the sun's rays with a smile across his face. The sun made his tanned skin glow.

"When I saw you on the dock that day, who were those other men with you?"

Noah hesitated, seeming to want to avoid the question but not able to do so. "They were other men in my tribe."

"No, I mean the three that were looking at my family so… intensely."

Noah sighed. "Those weren't men, not really. Those are my brothers. So to speak, I guess. The biggest one is my actual brother, Ephraim. The other two were Levi and Quil, who are both a little younger than me."

Ellie frowned. His brothers? They looked enormous, and all of them much older than Noah's 20 years. "They looked so angry. What happened?"

More hesitation. "We got into a fight. They're not so… uh, keen, I guess you could say, about newcomers in town."

"And you are?"

"I guess you could say that. They have very strict views over protecting the tribe. For instance, taking Levi and Ephraim's kids to the hospital was a big deal for them; they wanted them to see the doctor on the reservation instead. Even though we were closer to that hospital," he grumbled. "I'm not allowed to watch my nephews anymore."

Ellie stared in shock as the corners of his lips downturned.

"Just because you took them to the hospital?"

Noah nodded.

"That seems so… ridiculous. Extreme. I don't know."

"And now you see why I don't get along with them. Levi and Quil aren't so bad, but Ephraim…" He broke off.

"You mentioned your brother earlier. Are you two not getting along?"

He barked out a laugh.

"We never did. It got worse when I went away to college. This past year at school, my father passed away, completely unexpectedly. I dropped out to see how I could help out at home, but now, Ephraim, my brother, has taken over my father's role. It's infuriating. He acts like he knows everything; like he's the supreme ruler of the world or something. The tribe elders keep deferring to him like he has some kind of power over them now that—well, now that things have changed. It's been driving me crazy, to be honest. We have very different opinions on certain situations, and I think it's near impossible for us to ever be on the same page."

His hands shook slightly with emotion, and Ellie felt his pain as if it were her own. She wanted to close the space between the two of them and throw her arms around him and tell him how proud she was of him, and how brave she thought he was, but kept to herself. She had never really had the desire to get close to anyone outside of her family before. Looking down, she noticed the tattoo inside his wrist again. It seemed to be a random grouping of numbers, and she wondered about their significance.

Noah sighed. "They don't like that I went to college. They don't like that I cut my hair so short. They don't like anything I do anymore. It's infuriating knowing that whatever I do, someone disapproves."

"But going to college is a great accomplishment."

"They think I left the tribe in its biggest time of need. With the… influx, I guess, of newcomers in town." He smirked at some joke, and then was serious again. "My dad was proud of me, at least."

"I'm proud of you," Ellie whispered softly.

Ellie realized that seeing him in pain made her feel that way too. She wanted to comfort him. She threw caution to the wind and moved closer to Noah. He smelled like the beach around them. She reached carefully for his wrist which had the tattoo. His skin was incredibly warm. She traced the numbers with her finger. They were slightly raised on his skin, which shivered under her fingertip. She realized now they were a date. His father must have passed away on Christmas. 12-25-38.

"Now it's your turn."

She nodded, still holding his wrist between her hands. She had expected as much, and now, after hours in the sun with him, she finally felt relaxed enough to answer his questions as truthfully as she could. She felt bound to him in some way she couldn't quite explain. She slowly inched her pale hand into his large brown one, just to see the difference in size. He surprised her when he intertwined his fingers in hers. It was like she was wearing a big warm brown mitten. She liked the way their skin contrasted each other so well.

"Tell me more about your family," he asked softly.

"What do you want to know?"

"You said you moved in with your sister and her husband. Tell me about them."

Ellie smiled. "Esme and Carlisle are the two greatest people in the world, I think. I've never met anyone like them. Esme is so full of love and Carlisle is so full of compassion, it's almost insane. They complement each other perfectly. They didn't think twice before they took me in. I'm pretty sure they would do absolutely anything to help anyone."

"Siblings?" Noah prompted.

"Well, you saw Rosalie and Emmett on the dock. My sister, Rosalie, is absolutely beautiful, but she knows it. You know the saying 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?' I'm pretty sure that was written about someone just like Rose. I love her, but she can be a brat. She and Edward, my brother, don't get along at all. I'm pretty sure Rose's husband Emmett is the only reason the two haven't killed each other yet. Emmett is such a goof. He looks big and scary, but he's the most easy-going out of all of us, and I think he has the ability to make a joke about just about anything.

"Was Edward on the dock with you as well? I thought there were only five."

"No. He's my twin, you would know if you saw him."

Ellie thought about Edward for a bit and sighed. "I love Edward so much. He was my best friend. He can be a bit stubborn at times, but he means well, I think. A while ago he left to go see the world and find himself, or so he says, and we got into a big argument. I haven't seen him since. He's coming home now, and I don't know what to do or how to feel, really." Ellie paused as she finally voiced her feelings after five long years. "It just hurts too much sometimes. I feel like I'm missing my other half. I want to be able to hug him and welcome him home, but at the same time I'm still angry over what he said. It's confusing, you know?"

Noah squeezed her hand comfortingly. "What about your parents?"

Ellie frowned in confusion. She had just talked about Esme and Carlisle, hadn't she? Then her eyes got wide as she realized her mistake. Whoops.

"My parents died a long time ago. I don't really remember anything about them. Carlisle and Esme are my parents now." She shrugged. That was the truth, at least.

He nodded and smiled. "Well, that's quite a family you've got there."

"Don't I know it," she laughed. "I know we probably look strange all together, but it all works so well. It's the most functional dysfunctional family ever, I think."

"Tell me more about you."

"Okay." There was a long silence as he looked expectantly at her. Ellie smiled, suddenly shy again. "What? What do you want to know?"

"Well, what do you like to do?"

"You mean for fun?"

"Yeah, for fun." Noah was smirking at her, as if it was the most ridiculous question to be struggling to answer.

"I read a lot." She shrugged. "I like learning different languages. And I play the piano, but I like listening more than anything. My brother Edward is amazing at playing the piano."

"And what are you amazing at?"

"I don't know. No one's ever asked me that." She frowned as she realized she really had no idea.

"Well, no need to get worried about it. You'll think of it in time," he chuckled softly, smoothing the crease between her eyes. Ellie realized she loved that sound, the sound of him laughing.

They both grew serious as they locked eyes. They exchanged a look that made Ellie tremble. She couldn't look away from his face, even if she had wanted to. His eyes were black with intensity, and he was looking at her like he had never seen anything like her before. The setting sun reflected warmly off Noah's face, and she bathed in this, burning his image onto the back of her mind forever.

She leaned in closer to him as many things whirred through her brain at once. The heat coming off his body was making her cheeks blush, but even without that, they probably would have been red anyhow. She had never kissed anyone in her life, and at the same time she had never _wanted_ to kiss someone so badly. Something about him called her closer and closer. Her heart raced. If she just tilted her head ever so slightly…

A wolf howled somewhere in the distance a few moments later, yanking the pair out of their reverie.

"Shitbucket," Noah cursed softly, jumping lightly to his feet despite his size, and pulling her to hers. "We should get you home. I bet your family's wondering where you are."

"I suppose," Ellie said reluctantly. It's not like she had to get back for dinner. Her family was probably out enjoying the nice weather, too.

The ride back was silent except for the loud roar of Noah's truck, and as he pulled to the front of the large house, he whistled.

"What a dump. I feel bad leaving you here," he joked.

"It's Esme's dream house. She designed it herself."

"Well, I'm impressed."

She got out of the car and was halfway to the house, when Noah called her name out the window.

"Eleanor!"

Ellie turned around. She could see his bright grin reflecting off the last rays of the sun from where she was standing.

"Yes?"

"Are you working tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Would it be okay if I stopped by after?"

"Sure." Ellie beamed out at him as he put the car in gear.

"Well then, see you tomorrow, Lenny!"

Lenny? Now that was a nickname she had never had before. Ellie sighed as she watched him drive away from her porch, and suddenly realized how much she didn't want to be away from him. It was like the half of her heart that belonged with Edward burrowed out a second, Noah-sized hole beside it. She would be getting herself into trouble with this one, she could tell already. Shitbucket, indeed.


	5. Feels Like Home

_If you knew how lonely my life has been  
And how long I've been so alone  
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along  
And change my life the way you've done_

_Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk_

The summer days in Forks passed lazily, and Ellie found she had a new friend in Noah Black. He was her first friend ever, and she loved him for that. Whenever he wasn't working on the reservation and she wasn't helping out at the hospital, they were together. They had gotten into a routine—she would ride with Carlisle in the morning to the hospital and he would give her a ride home when her shift ended in the afternoon.

Ellie and Noah fought like cats and dogs. Noah never hesitated to tell her when he thought she was wrong, and Ellie was never one to back down from a disagreement, especially when she knew she was right. They would bicker, but at the end of the day, Ellie couldn't help but smile to herself, remembering how endearing Noah's "stubborn" face was, or how his big warm body would heat up his truck's cab like a fireplace on cool rainy days.

On Saturday afternoons, Noah would come by the Cullens' house to teach Ellie how to drive, using their long dirt driveway and his truck for practice. Nine times out of ten, they would get into a fight about her ruining his truck within an hour, which she would proceed to call a piece of junk and he would stubbornly defend, and she would inevitably end their driving lesson by storming into the house as Noah continued shouting at her out the driver's side window until the front door slammed shut. They would both be infuriated and huff and puff the rest of the weekend, but come Monday afternoon, he would show up at the hospital like nothing happened.

It didn't help that Esme and Carlisle positively adored Noah. Carlisle especially was impressed with how he had asserted his independence in his family, only to come back to them and help them out after all the harsh words they had exchanged. Esme thought it was a good indication of how well he was raised. This was one of her favorite parts of her friendship with Noah—how comfortable he was around her family. Most of the other humans in town would shy away from no matter how kind they were. Noah wasn't like that at all. He seemed to fit in perfectly with her family, and even got along with Rosalie—quite the accomplishment, if Ellie thought so herself.

One particularly muggy Saturday afternoon was actually going rather smoothly, probably due to the fact that the pair weren't really doing much driving. In fact, the car hadn't moved at all—they had been sitting in front of Ellie's house, talking and enjoying each others' company. Ellie's body adapted quickly to changing climates, and she didn't seem to have as much of a problem as Noah did with the humidity. Sweat was threatening to drip off the very tip of Noah's nose, and all they had done was sit there.

"Ugh, Len, I think I'm actually melting. I can't stay in a car all afternoon."

"Oh," she said, assuming he meant to leave her. She couldn't help but look downcast as her hand automatically reached for the passenger side door handle.

"Don't be ridiculous. I said that I didn't want to be in a car, not that I didn't want to be with you. Let's get out of here and go someplace."

That was new. Their friendship was generally isolated to either Ellie's driveway or the hospital, or the road in between. Ellie had never seen him in any other element, really. Other than that day on the cliff.

"Where would we go?"

"I don't know. I just want to go somewhere to get the air moving. I feel like I'm stuck in a furnace or something. Want to go swimming?"

"Swimming?"

"Yes, swimming," he said very slowly, enunciating every syllable teasingly like she was hard of hearing. "Remember First Beach?" Of course she remembered, she thought to herself. She couldn't forget that afternoon if she tried. "There's a place around there I used to go swimming when I was a kid."

"I don't know… I've never swam before."

"You've never gone swimming before?" Noah was incredulous. "Never? Not in your whole life?"

"Nope," she said, popping the P slightly.

"Not once." She shook her head. "What have you been doing all your life? You can't drive, you can't swim. Jesus."

"Noah, no cursing."

He held his hands up in surrender. "I give up. I just don't know what to do with you. Miss Ellie, it's time to see what the rest of the world has to offer." Noah stuck his head out his side of the car just as Emmett came around the side of the house. "Emmett! You and Rose want to come swimming with us?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. Keeping their hands off each other seemed to be a feat in itself for the not-so newlyweds, and she wondered how they would behave during an afternoon of swimming.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A few hours later, Ellie was standing nervously on a nook in the cliff she and Noah had shared their lives on a few weeks previous, feeling ridiculously uncomfortable and exposed in Rosalie's borrowed two-piece. She was a natural at swimming, and somehow Noah and Emmett had gotten it into their heads to go cliff diving into the ocean. Rosalie and Ellie had chosen to watch from the beach, where the salt water drying onto their skin made pretty crystalline patterns—even Ellie's skin was sparkling under the gray sky. Emmett and Noah had proceeded to turn the afternoon into a competition over who could do the most complicated, death-defying dives (much to Rose and Ellie's chagrins), and when they got bored of that, they tried to convince the girls to join. Rosalie had been a pushover, the traitor, and now the trio was trying to get Ellie to try it out.

She was clinging to the side of the cliff like her life depended on it, wishing there was a way she could have another set of hands to cover her bare mid-drift and legs. Where Rosalie looked amazingly stunning in _her_ suit, of course, Ellie couldn't help thinking about how long and gangly her legs looked in hers.

"Moonshine, get your skinny ass off that cliff!" Emmett called from the ocean below, where he treaded water lazily.

"Stop worrying so much. You know you'll be fine," Rose said, floating elegantly beside her husband and looking like she didn't have a care in the world.

Her sister spoke an element of truth. Ellie wasn't so sure why her heart was pounding. It wasn't like she could die.

"Lenny, you know they're right."

Ellie jumped as Noah appeared to her left, dangling precariously beside her with one hand. Ellie blushed, trying not to pay attention to the heat she felt rolling off Noah's bare chest.

"This is a pretty small jump. Nothing's going to happen to you."

Noah seemed significantly less enthusiastic to see her fling her body into the ocean, but was encouraging nonetheless. She was happy he was the one up here beside her and not her siblings. Ellie danced nervously on the mini-cliff's ledge. For whatever reason, she just couldn't do it. She felt like the biggest scaredy cat in the world.

"What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't know," she answered immediately. "We're pretty high up."

"True. But we could be higher up." He paused, considering the cliff he had just jumped from far above them. "I think the issue here is that you're having a hard time letting go."

"What?" Her mind was instantly distracted, and she temporarily forgot her precarious situation.

"You don't like when you don't know the outcome of a situation. You're a control freak."

"Oh, give me a break, Noah. This is some time for psychoanalysis." She automatically took the short tone of voice she used with him during their driving lessons.

"C'mon, it's true and you know it, Len! That's why you're so obsessed with taking care of people, why you hate when your family is apart. And it's why you've never gone swimming, or learned how to drive, or done anything else half-risky… You're scared of stepping out of your safe little nest and doing something slightly dangerous."

Ellie fumed silently for a moment or two. His words struck a chord within her.

"What? Gonna tell me to go jump off a cliff or something?"

Noah smiled his innocent one-dimple grin at her, and she continued glaring at him. There was another long silence.

"You do realize I could just push you in and call it a day, right?"

Ellie looked away, but couldn't keep her lips from twitching slightly at his words.

"Ah, there we are. Done being so stubborn?" She threw him a look. "C'mon, Len, you'll be fine, and every bit of your brain knows it." He stuck out a big brown paw. "I'll do it if you do it."

Ellie considered his big, strong hand. Carefully, she placed her hand in his, and a spark flew between them, just as it had that first day here on the beach. Noah looked seriously into her eyes.

"Len, I promise I would never, ever let anything hurt you. You know that, right?"

She nodded, pretty sure she wouldn't be able to form any words if she tried. The intensity of his gaze was overwhelming. She had never felt safer around any one person in her life.

"So you trust me?" He asked softly.

"Yes," she stuttered out. "I trust you."

"You trust me with your life?"

"I do."

A big, sly grin started taking over his face, and Ellie's heart erratically hammered out a few beats.

"Okay then, get ready," he said excitedly. Automatically, Ellie squeezed her eyes shut. "One, two, THREE!"

She screamed until her body smacked into the rough ocean water, and continued screaming on the way back up. Rose and Emmett were cracking up like they had never seen anything funnier as she popped up beside Noah. Finally, she started laughing too, and the laughter rolled off her body and into the waves, taking all the stress and tension she had been carrying around for the past five years.

Unnoticed by Emmett and Rosalie, who were entertaining themselves with impressions of Ellie's screaming and facial expressions, Noah pulled Ellie into a one-armed hug and kissed her on the top of her wet head. They hadn't really touched since that first day here, and Ellie found herself pleased by his affection.

"I'm proud of you," he said quietly.

Ellie smiled at him as they both tread water and held his gaze for a long moment before splashing him playfully.

"Now I'm going to try for _that_ one," she said, pointing to the tallest ledge before swimming toward shore.

"Whoa, wait a minute, Lenny. Not so fast. I don't like that one bit," he said seriously before following closely beside her.

Ellie had to admit that was one of the better afternoons of her life. Emmett and Rose's displays of affection didn't annoy her, and she was surprised that when Emmett accidentally mentioned Edward, she wasn't bothered at all. There was no sharp twist to her stomach, no overwhelming feeling like she was getting suffocated. She chalked it up to Noah—it was impossible to be sad when he was around.

They continued playing in the water until the sky began to darken and Noah jokingly warned that sharks may come out (a concept that seemed to excite Emmett and elicit a small whispered argument with Rose that Ellie suspected had something to do with him wanting to fight a shark). As they walked back to Noah's truck discussing the dangers of a shark attack, Noah stopped dead in his tracks and threw his hand out, catching the three Cullens. Ellie could hear the forest rumbling, and wondered if it was about to thunderstorm. Rose and Emmett looked equally perplexed.

Suddenly there was a crunching of branches, and Ellie was face-to-face with three enormous, scary wolves. The rumbling wasn't coming from the woods at all. It was coming from these beasts. Her familiar gray wolf wasn't present here, though, and she couldn't help but feel as though these three seemed much larger and wild than her friend had.

Emmett made to step forward, crouching automatically before Rosalie slapped him on the arm lightly as if to remind him to act human, but Noah beat him to the punch. Taking a menacing, protective stance directly in front of Ellie and therefore in front of their group, Noah silently stared down the front wolf, who also happened to be the largest one there.

Ellie peeked around Noah, who she never realized was so tall before, and immediately regretted that decision. He was staring down one of the most ferocious looking creatures she had ever seen and couldn't help but shiver. She had a bad feeling that seemed unrelated to the situation at hand. Noah and the wolf leader held gazes for a long time before the leader finally backed away and disappeared into the woods. Ellie exchanged a bewildered look with her siblings over her shoulder.

"Follow closely," Noah commanded before continuing towards the truck.

He grabbed Ellie's hand and pulled her along roughly beside him. Ellie had never seen him act like this before, and she could have sworn he was shaking from what seemed to be poorly suppressed rage.

"Noah, what was that? Were those wolves? What did you just do?"

Ellie had a million questions running through her head as Noah helped her into the truck. Rosalie and Emmett swung gracefully into the bed, and Noah ignored her questions, choosing to address Rose and Emmett instead before getting into the truck.

"Sit close to the cab towards the middle, at least until we reach the main road," he brusquely instructed them. "I don't want those things to have any excuse to attack."

Noah seemed to hold his breath until they had reached the main road. Even then he still looked tense—his jaw was clenched, and his hands looked like they were about to snap off the steering wheel.

"Noah, are you okay?" Ellie was full of concern for her friend.

"Yes," he growled through his teeth.

"No you're not; you're still upset." Ellie sighed. "I've seen those wolves before, in the woods by my house. Or at least a wolf that was big like them," she amended. She was trying to make small talk to make him forget his anger. "The one I saw wasn't nearly as mean as they were. Are there a lot of them around here? I've never seen any that big before here."

"You could say they're indigenous to these parts," Noah said, and smirked to himself. Ellie didn't see the humor in what he was saying. "There's one small pack that roams around here."

"Are they dangerous?"

"No," he said automatically. "Well… They're not dangerous at all unless they're provoked." He seemed to consider something as he looked out the rearview mirror. "Do me a favor."

"Of course."

"Don't go looking for them. They—they don't like to be found. I guess you could say they're very, very protective of their den. Make sure you and your family, Emmett especially, don't go looking for trouble."

"Emmett's pretty strong. He can handle himself." Now it was Ellie's turn to smirk.

"No!" Noah practically shouted. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I think you'd be surprised that even Emmett can't win a fight with them."

They rode in silence back to the house, his hands still shaking as they clutched the steering wheel. Ellie was so lost in her thoughts that she almost missed the scent that was prompting Emmett and Rosalie to whisper to each other in the back.

They pulled up to the front of the Cullen house, which was all lit up now. A shiny new black car was sitting in front of it, in the place where Noah usually parked.

Edward was home.


	6. After You Left

**Happy New Year, everybody!! So this story is going to be a bit longer than I realized.... Sigh. I'm too wordy. I can't help it,.Bear with me, you get a big fat gold star if you actually stick it out to the end :)  
**

**Thank you so so much for reviewing and adding my story to your alerts, guys!! I hope you like the next two chapters... You're going to get to see Ellie in action. Finally, she's going to figure out what the heck she is. Woohoo!**

* * *

_You had to go_

_I wanted you to stay_

_But just like you said_

_After you left, I was okay_

_After You Left_ by Mirah

* * *

Later that night, Ellie sat on her window seat, overlooking the front yard and the perfectly clear night sky. She could see the Milky Way, and she was transfixed by the night sky's beauty.

Her brain had frozen as she saw her brother standing there in their living room with Carlisle and Esme like nothing had ever happened. He hadn't changed a bit. His eyes were the same liquid topaz as they almost always had been, and he had the same crooked smile they shared, just like always. Just like always, the strange metallic hue of his auburn hair served as a reminder of the bond she shared with Edward and only Edward, no matter how much she considered the rest of the Cullens to be her family. Feigning exhaustion from the day's events, she gave her twin a chaste kiss on the cheek, welcomed him home, and then made a beeline for her room. Sometimes it came in handy to be the only Cullen that slept.

Now she was sitting in her room in the dark, alone with only her thoughts and the stars. She listened as two stories below Edward told the family everything that had happened to him in the past five years. All the incredible adventures he had been on across the world, all the different vampires he had met (most of whom had known Carlisle), all the inner turmoil he had worked out, and how he had finally come to realize where he belonged. Ellie had never heard Esme or Carlisle so happy.

It was late when she heard her bedroom door slowly creak open. She hadn't noticed the party break up downstairs —she didn't know if she had tuned their voices out, or if she had simply gotten lost in her thoughts. Looking up from her seat, she was surprised to see Edward in her doorframe. Checking on her was usually Esme's job.

"You're not asleep," he said softly, leaning against her door frame.

"No," she agreed.

He looked pained by her short retort, and she ignored the slight pang of guilt that followed. He made to take a step forward, but hesitated mid-step.

"Can I come in?"

She nodded, and pursed her lips as he closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of the bed facing her. They stared at each other in silence. She pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, playing with the hem of her long nightgown. If he expected her to be the one to speak first, he was sorely mistaken.

"Ellie," he finally started. "Before I left, I was in a bad place. I acted so poorly to you especially, and I regret that. I'm ashamed of how I treated you, and I apologize for my actions and how much I must have hurt you."

She turned her head away from him, looking back out at the yard. She had been waiting for him to apologize for five years, hadn't she? So why did she suddenly wish he hadn't? She realized that after all the time spent imagining how the current scene would play out, she didn't have a single thing to say back to him. She felt him staring at the back of her head intently, but protected her thoughts from intrusion.

"El," he said painfully. "You have to give me something here."

She turned to face him again, and didn't bother to mask the emotions that were so easy to read there. She didn't really have to give him anything, she thought. Edward nodded, and looked down at his feet.

"You didn't tell anyone what happened." He stated it as a fact, not as a question.

"No."

"Why not, El?"

She shrugged. "It wasn't their concern. Esme was distraught enough when she found you were gone, and it would have just upset her more. They're happy to have you back," she added emotionlessly.

"And you?"

"I'm glad to see you're well and in one piece."

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could have sworn she saw her silver wolf standing guard at the edge of the woods. She was temporarily distracted as she strained to see farther into the woods, but there was nothing there. Edward sighed, which drew her attention back to the situation at hand.

"I suppose I deserve nothing more. I'm sorry I ruined it all."

Edward got up to leave, and Ellie watched her twin's defeated figure move towards the door.

"You didn't ruin _everything_, Edward," she corrected, and summoned the strength for a small smile as he turned to her. "And I am glad to have you back, too. I just need some more time, I guess."

Edward nodded. "I understand. Good night, El. I love you," he added as an afterthought.

"You too," she said quietly.

The door closed just as quietly as it opened, and once she heard it click shut, she returned to staring up at the sky. She suddenly felt overwhelmingly tired, and yet she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. Something tickled the tip of her nose, and as she rubbed it, she realized it was a rogue tear. Carefully picking it up with the tip of her pointer finger, she examined it broodingly in the moonlight. It was only salt water, and yet this little tear represented everything that had come between her and Edward.

Then something moving in the woods caught her attention. It was Noah, shirtless and without shoes, standing in her front yard and looking up at her. She waved down at him once she knew he could see her and smiled. This was so like him, to appear out of nowhere just when she needed him the most. He waved back, and his big white smile glowed in the dark. She could see his breath, and wondered why he wasn't cold. She threw open the window.

"Noah, what are you doing out there?" She hissed out at him. Ellie didn't know why she was compelled to whisper—her family would be able to hear her no matter what.

Noah shrugged at her and continued smiling contagiously.

"Wait a second, I'm coming down."

Feeling reckless, she decided to crawl out of her window and jumped gracefully onto where the roof jutted out below her. She landed perfectly beside him in the cold, wet grass. As she righted herself, she became acutely aware that all she was wearing was a white nightgown. She crossed her arms tightly against her chest.

"Hi," Noah said happily.

"Hi," she echoed. She was glad to see his bad mood from earlier was gone. "What are you doing out here this late?"

"I don't know. I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk and I guess it just led me here."

"You went for a 15 mile walk barefoot and without a shirt?" She gave him a skeptical look.

"I must have lost them somewhere along the way." He smiled charmingly, and she shivered. "You must be freezing," he added, and rubbed her shoulders. His hands were like two fireballs, and she jumped against the sudden change in temperature.

"Geeze, Noah, you're burning up! You must have caught a fever roaming around without your clothes on." Her cheeks grew hot, and she wasn't sure if it was because she acknowledged how little he was wearing or it was because of the warmth of his hands.

He shrugged, smiling. "I don't know. I run a high temperature these days." Regardless, he retracted his hands into his pockets. "Want to take a walk?"

"Sure." He could have asked her if she wanted to go jump off some more cliffs and she probably would have said yes. They began ambling towards the river behind her house. Judging from the smell, some of her family had just been here. Hunting, probably.

"So your brother's back?"

"Yeah. The prodigal son returns," she added sullenly.

"How's that going? Did you guys make up yet?"

"No, not quite. I don't know… I thought I would feel different having him home. Relieved, or angry, or… something. Instead, I just feel empty. I think I'm all out of emotions."

"These things take time," he said in his reassuringly deep voice. "My brother and I still aren't getting along, even though I've been back for months. We just had another big argument tonight, in fact."

"I hope it doesn't take that long."

"No, me neither. But I don't think it will. You seem to have a much stronger relationship with your brother than I ever did with mine."

They followed the river's path in silence. They came to a large boulder, and Ellie sat on top of it as Noah leaned against it. He grabbed a handful of rocks and skipped them against the water's surface. A gust of wind blew past them, and Ellie caught the scent of her brother mingled in with Noah's strong beachy scent. Sighing, she pulled her knees to her chest. What was she going to do?

Noah looked back at her in that moment, and she felt welded to the rock. A strand of hair had blown into her face, but she didn't dare move and break the spell between them. Slowly, Noah lifted his hand and brushed the stray hairs behind her ear. She bit her lip, and looked into his extremely close face.

"What are you, Eleanor Cullen?" Noah asked softly, cupping his hand against her face and looking frustrated.

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What _are _you? I've never met any human like you before."

Ellie smiled at what Noah was sure to not realize was a double meaning. Then she thought to herself. "I don't know," she answered truthfully, and was extremely saddened by that. Noah gave her a sympathetic look.

"You're my Lenny is what you are," he offered after a long moment of consideration, and wrapped a warm arm around her shoulders. When she sat up here on this rock, they were almost the same size. She was still an inch or two short. Ellie leaned into him contentedly, and noticed the sky had lightened since they had left the house.

"I should get back," Noah said after a while.

Giving her a long look, Noah kissed her forehead, making her heart race and color rise to her cheeks. Then he disappeared like a streak into the woods before he could say anything else. With his speed, she could almost swear he was a vampire, too. Ellie watched where he had disappeared, and looked up at the early morning sky. It looked like the sun was going to come out today.


	7. Time And Time Again

_Time and time again we fall into the depths of who we are  
But you can't keep running away from what you're trying to find_

_Time and Time Again _by_ Chronic Future_

_

* * *

  
_

Ellie couldn't help but feel slightly guilty as she crept back into the house as the sun began to rise. Did it count as sneaking out when your family most likely heard you? Edward seemed to be the only one home, and was sitting on the sofa. He looked like he engrossed in the book he was reading, and she couldn't help herself from craning her neck to read the title. _War and Peace_, in its original Russian. Oh, Edward.

Thinking she would be able to sneak past without him noticing her, she crept soundlessly to the stairs. Her foot was on the first step when he called out to her.

"Who is he?"

Ellie froze, and turned to face him. "Uh. Noah. Noah Black."

Edward nodded slowly, looking like he was having trouble digesting that small bit of information. Ellie sighed, and crossed the room to the loveseat next to where he was sitting.

"Do you love him?"

"What? Oh, no, it's not like that…" Ellie trailed off, slightly flustered at her brother's blunt question. "He's just a dear, dear friend. He's been teaching me how to drive. He took us cliff diving yesterday," she offered helplessly.

"Ellie, you _do _realize how risky it is to befriend a human, don't you? How risky it is to bring him into this house? What happens if Emmett, or Rosalie, or any of us slip up? What happens if he figures out what we are?"

"I…" Ellie opened and closed her mouth several times, not quite sure how to respond. Truthfully, if she said she had never thought of those things, she was lying to herself. Edward's concerns were valid. She shook her head slightly, as if trying to shake off a pesky fly.

"Edward, he helped me out when I needed someone the most. When you left, you left a lot of… scar tissue. You haven't been the only one struggling with who you are. Having Noah around has helped me, immensely so."

Ellie remembered what it felt like to have Edward gone before she found Noah. She remembered that desolate, lost feeling she had that one day out on the sound. It wasn't just that half her heart was missing, it was half of everything—half her thoughts, half her soul. Not to mention the fact that without sharing Edward's mind-reading ability, she felt completely disconnected from everyone else. After getting used to hearing your family's thoughts every moment of every day, it was strange to hear nothing but silence when they looked at you.

Edward winced, and Ellie realized she wasn't alone with her thinking.

"I felt the same way, El. Half of me has been gone, too. The better half, I might add."

Ellie saw what he meant—she was what kept him light-hearted and helped him laugh at himself. She was what kept him from being too dark and sullen and closed off from the world. She saw him suddenly, in a dark alley, following a man he knew to be a bad person. He was remembering the night he decided to come back home…

The man he was following had taken advantage of several innocent girls in this same dark alley, and Edward was intent on stopping him. He remembered what Ellie had told him about playing God, and he realized he did indeed have a God complex. As he leapt onto the man, snapping his neck in an instant—he was in no mood to hear the man scream and beg for mercy—he realized that as he pulled in the delicious thick warm liquid from the man's neck, he was carrying a bit of this man around with him with every drink. A little bit of a killer was what kept him going, what kept him strong.

In disgust, Edward threw the man aside. He didn't want to be doing this. Carlisle always insisted they had a choice in this matter. They didn't have to be slaves to their thirst. Hands shaking, Edward ran a hand through his hair. He thought he saw something familiar out of the corner of his eye… Looking at the window next to him, he realized it was just his reflection. His bronze hair had caught his eye because it reminded him of Ellie. His heart-of-gold twin. She would be so ashamed of him right now, at how he had turned his back on his beliefs. Or at least she should be. Despite every hateful, bitter thing he had said to her, she would still love him, no matter what state he was in. That was who she was… but this wasn't who he was. This wasn't where he belonged.

She blinked several times in an effort to pull herself out of the memory that didn't belong to her. Wordlessly, she threw her arms around her brother, and the ties that held them were back like nothing had ever happened. No, that wasn't quite right. The ties that bound them to each other were made almost stronger. They had both had the opportunity to turn their backs on each other, and neither had been able to. As they pulled apart, she ruffled Edward's just as tousled, just as bronze hair.

"You know what this means?" She asked him, slightly giddy at having Edward back.

"Hmm?"

_You're the evil twin._

He laughed out loud. _I never pretended to be otherwise._

Ellie got up to change into a fresh set of clothes, or at least to get out of her nightgown before the rest of her family came home. Strangely, she didn't feel tired at all, despite not having slept a wink.

"Hey, El?" Edward called once more as she had her foot on the steps. She turned around, loving the way the morning sun reflected off his sparkling skin. "There's a carnival going on in Port Angeles tonight. Want to go? I could use some good old family fun."

She smiled. "But you hate those kinds of things."

"Yeah, well… you don't. And I owe you, I suppose."

She beamed at her brother. "I would love to. But you have to promise me to have a good time."

"I think I can manage that for one little night."

Ellie was in a happy daze the rest of the day. Everything seemed to finally be fitting. All her puzzle pieces were in their place… Her family, Edward, Noah. Her heart felt like it could have sang with joy and content, and if she had been floating instead of walking, she wouldn't have been surprised.

The fair had been just what they needed—the icing on the cake, so to speak. They both had fun, and Edward had made sure they rode every ride and had done everything the teeny place had to offer before finally agreeing to go home. Although they weren't quite back to old times, they were close, and Ellie curled up to his ice cold body on the way home, completely at peace with the world for the first time in a while.

Ellie woke with a start a short time later, stiff from falling asleep against her ice cold rock of a brother. They had stopped at a poorly lit gas station in the middle of nowhere.

"Good evening, Sleeping Beauty. Glad to see I'm so enthralling," Edward greeted her cheerfully. "We have a flat tire. You can get out and walk around if you want. There's a diner across the way."

Ellie nodded groggily. Across the street was a run-down diner, and she stumbled into its bathroom still half-asleep. As she splashed water on her face, a rotting, garbage-like smell wafted through the open window. Chalking it up to the trash that must be out back somewhere, she crinkled her nose and left the place, not giving it another thought until she got to her brother's car.

She wrapped herself in a thick sweater and looked around. Where was Edward? Theirs was the only car here, yet he was nowhere to be found. He hadn't been in the diner, and he wasn't here, so where did he go?

His scent led behind the gas station, and Ellie followed it to the middle of a dark field. It was eerily quiet, but her brother's scent was strongest here, intertwined with the garbage smell from before. She took another deep inhalation, and her body, which had been so cold beforehand, felt as if it had ignited. She felt like she had just been slapped, and was wide awake now.

"Edward?" she called tentatively into the night as her senses burst into flame. This was ridiculous. Where had he gone, and why was her body suddenly screaming at her like she was in danger? She had way outgrown being scared of the dark.

_Edward, come on, this isn't funny, _she tried nonverbally.

_Ellie, get back to the diner and stay there. I'll come get you in a bit, _Edward replied urgently. He sounded scared, and she wondered where the heck he was.

Immediately after, she heard two distinct growls, one familiar and one savage, and the screeching sound of metal against metal. Whipping around, she saw a giant white something come flying out of nowhere and smack Edward face-down onto the ground. Looking more carefully, she gasped as the feral beast from her old nightmares stared up at her from a crouch over Edward, his eyes glowing crimson against his pale skin, barely lit by the weak moonlight.

"Now, now, what do we have here? Protecting a precious little human?" The man leered. He seemed to be a newborn, judging from his reeking scent and bright red eyes. It hadn't been garbage after all, Ellie thought to herself.

"No, you seem to misunderstand," Edward said calmly from his trapped position beneath the man. Ellie could tell he tried to adopt the collected manner Carlisle always had in sticky situations, but unlike Carlisle, he was snarling as he said it. "I have no intention of killing her, and neither should you. Please leave us."

_El, get out of here. I can handle this,_ he added silently.

Ellie froze, not sure what to do as her heart raced. From her experiments with Carlisle and Emmett, she knew the vampire couldn't really do her any harm. Edward, on the other hand, was who she worried about. She didn't think vampires could die or break, but that metal sound had been ominous, and she didn't want to test that theory. Edward struggled against his captor, who, from the sound and look of it, just popped his shoulder out of its socket. Maybe vampires _could_ break.

"Hey, that's enough; you already have him on the ground. Leave him be," she commanded in a resonating tone, not really knowing what had come over her. "It's me you want, not him."

The beast pushed Edward away and started leering at her. His teeth were unnaturally white against his translucent, dirty skin. "That's right, good looking. It's a shame we had to meet this way, but c'est la vie."

Was the thing hitting on her? As she contemplated for the briefest second just how disgusting that was, Edward flung himself onto the man's back, only to be thrown off, landing several hundred feet away from them. As the man turned to seemingly finish off her brother, Ellie's instincts took over.

She ripped off her thick coat and called in her most seductive voice, "Excuse me, sir. I don't think he's the one you want to kill, do you? I mean, he doesn't even bleed."

The monster approached her as if in a trance, completely ignoring Edward. It wasn't as hard as she thought it should be to distract him—she was wearing a fluttering, deep plum wrap dress she knew hugged her figure and set off her green eyes and bronze hair nicely. The fact that her heart was racing and her burning body was causing a small heat wave in the otherwise deserted field made her good looks and pretty dress superfluous to a predatory vampire. With an innocent look, she nipped her index finger with her teeth, making it bleed.

This was too much for the vampire, and he shoved her to the ground, dragging his tongue along her throat before biting her neck. The bite was painful, but bearable. He only took one deep dreg before pushing away from her and spitting, spraying the ground with specks of her blood.

"What the hell _are_ you?!" the man growled.

His words were slurred as he stumbled away from her, tripping over the ground. Moonshine, indeed, Ellie smirked, feeling her wounds close. Taking advantage of their attacker's intoxicated state, she threw herself at him, knocking him to the ground. Kneeling next to him, she pushed her weight into her hands to keep him trapped as he weakly snapped his jaws at her. She could see the venom mixed in with residual amounts of her blood dripping off his surprisingly still clean, white teeth.

The venom had a sweet smell that seemed to pull her towards him. She found herself wondering what it would taste like—it would probably be better than any pastry or sweet she had ever eaten in her life. It was a maddening smell, and her mind flipped like a switch had been turned on.

Suddenly, Ellie was lost to her senses as she closed her eyes, listening to the burning fire raging through her veins, forgetting where she was or what it was she should be doing. Whatever this was, it felt _good_. It felt like her body had been waiting in anticipation for this very moment for its entire existence. She felt all-powerful, and that venom dripping deliciously from the vampire's teeth was somehow responsible for it.

The vampire was incapacitated by her strong hold on his body—one hand was twirled tightly in his dirty hair, the other was pressing down on his gut. She cocked her head to the side, contemplating her small dilemma. For how powerful she felt at the moment, it was laughable that she couldn't do absolutely everything and anything she wanted. And really, the venom was gushing into his mouth right now. She could probably just lick it off his lips. One quick kiss would be all she needed.

As she considered how delicious it would taste, a very, very tiny part of her brain noticed that the man was screaming and cursing that he was being burned alive. Sure enough, his thrashing body began to smoke, but she only very distantly realized this. Thick, purple, fragrant smoke billowed out around him and engulfed his body before he burst into ash.

It took some effort before Ellie's brain turned itself back over to its logical side.

Wrenching herself back into reality, Ellie stared at her hands for a few long moments as thick smoke hovered over the field. She was covered in oily ash, and her body was still smoldering. She heard someone coughing, and she distantly realized the sound was coming from her shaking body. Edward was now standing over her, his topaz eyes wide. He seemed to have completely recovered; only his shirt and wild eyes appearing a bit disheveled.

"Ellie?" Edward said cautiously. Everything seemed slightly hazy, like she was watching it all from a distance. "El? C'mon. We need to get you out of here."

The purple smoke was still settling around them as he reached out his hand to pull her up. His musical voice had wavered, betraying his concern. She couldn't make herself move; she was frozen in shock as she tried to convince herself that what she just experienced was real and not just another dream. The fire was still pulsing within her heart.

"Ellie, let's go," he said in a stronger voice. "Get up."

Edward reached down for her bare arm, placing one hand in hers and the other around her forearm to pull her up. Yelping once as his bare skin made contact with hers, he jumped away, dropping her arm. They both watched in horror as his palms began to emit the same purple smoke as their attacker. Fortunately, the smoking stopped as soon as he had let go of her.

Unbelievably, he went for her hand again, pulling quickly away this time as if he had been burned by a stove top. No smoke this time, but his normally pale palms were red. Finally, he walked over to her dropped sweater, and wrapping it around her body like she was a hot pan, gently pulled her upright. He led her, shocked, back to the car at the empty gas station.

In the car, they both stared out the windshield in wide-eyed silence.

"Edward, what the hell did I just do?" Ellie finally found her voice, which was shaking like the rest of her body.

"I'm not sure, but we're okay now. That's all that matters. We're not getting attacked again; I can't hear anyone else out there. Take a deep breath."

Edward's voice was soothing, and Ellie took a few moments to calm her racing mind and douse the residual fire tearing through her body.

"Good," Edward stated with false bravado. "Feel better yet?"

She tentatively reached for his bare hand. There was no smoking or burning this time when her skin made contact with his. She sighed with relief, and her whole body relaxed. Edward started the car, and turned back onto the dark road, going much faster than Ellie thought was possible. She picked up flashes of images and words as his thoughts whirred, almost incomprehensibly.

"Your thoughts were so snarled, but you seemed like you knew just what you were doing. I… I didn't recognize you," Edward tried explaining.

Ellie realized Edward had been frightened of her, and he had wondered if she was going to be turning on him next back in the field. Seeing herself from his perspective, she could see why. She looked as wild as their attacker in that moment. Almost… evil. She was strong and powerful and potent. She wondered what would have happened if he had gotten in the way. She shivered, although she wasn't cold.

Edward gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She didn't miss the moment of hesitance before he touched her bare hand. The car was silent again, and they both turned to watch the starry night sky out the car windows. Ellie sighed. So much for going back to how things used to be.


	8. The Reason

**Touchee, Rebecca, you're on to me :) I don't know how I feel about the whole "Team Jacob" deal, but Noah is most definitely based on Jacob's bubbly, sunny character in New Moon (it's like they're related or something! haha). Sigh. I do love me some Jacob Black.**

**And yeahh, I admit that this story, but Ellie specifically, is extremely emo and angsty. My bad. I think it might have been Stephenie Meyer (appropriately enough) who said that whatever you write is reflective of your current state of mind. I started writing this story when I was super stressed out, and the story just kind of fell out from there. I do promise that in the long run, Ellie will get a happy ending, because I'm a big believer in happy endings. And let's face it, I like Ellie. She's a good person. Although when _exactly_ her happy ending will unfold is still up in the air. ;)**

**'Kay, that's enough from me. I give you chapter nine of Ellie's (seemingly epic) story.**

* * *

_I've found out a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you_

_The Reason _by Hoobastank

It had taken Edward all of two minutes to tell the rest of the family exactly what had happened to them once they got home. Ellie was still covered in ash, which seemed determined to cling to her no matter what. Carlisle sat the rest of the shocked family down in the dining room around the table they only ever used for family conferences, and told him he had his suspicions the moment that Ellie had joined the family over what she had become. His suspicions were apparently confirmed with this new story, and Ellie had her own suspicions that Edward had known this all along. Suddenly the reason why he seemed so cold and distant years ago made sense.

When Carlisle lived in Volterra centuries ago, there had been a myth about a type of people his friends called "protezioni." They were extremely rare, and Carlisle's friends had only ever met a handful in their entire lives. The protezioni were people who appeared to be humans upon first examination, but had extraordinary powers that rivaled those of vampires. Their creation seemed to exist for the purpose of vampire population control, and they were incredibly rare.

A protezioni was only ever made when someone a person was extremely close to as a human became a vampire. Apparently they were one of the few natural predators of vampires, and they lived until they killed their supposed vampire counterpart; their purpose in life, it would seem. Everything about them was designed to kill their former friend, child, sibling, or lover. More often than not, they were killed in the process of hunting down the vampire they were destined to kill. Courtesy of the Volturi, who took it upon themselves to protect innocent vampires, they hardly ever survived long enough to achieve their life's purpose once they were discovered.

Like Edward's ability to read minds, Carlisle guessed that Ellie's ability to heal was something extra that preexisted in the Masen genes and had become exaggerated upon immortality. What Carlisle had found odd was how Edward and Ellie hadn't seen each other since they were infants, yet the bond the two shared was still strong enough to create the protezioni-vampire connection. He theorized that had Ellie and Edward met under different circumstances in the clearing twenty years ago, there was a very high likelihood that Edward wouldn't have made it out alive.

It appeared Ellie's supernatural characteristics were all tools to attract and overtake vampires—the peculiar taste of her blood and the effect it had on vampires, her superb sense of smell, and her strength all suddenly made sense. Even the fact that she had always been able to attract the most skittish animals in the woods and the way that she was always able to comfort the patients at the hospital—they all innately sensed that she was their protector, so to speak. Based on experience, she would be willing to bet that the scent of a newborn vampire or of a vampire that actually hunted humans was her call to action, so to speak.

When Ellie went up to her room later that night, her head was full. She was designed to be an assassin to the very people she loved, and was a predator to her only family. Yet, at the same time, her ability enabled her to protect them all. Carlisle had told her long ago how most vampire covens were quite violent, and not at all based on love like their family. Edward had mentioned running into a few when he was on his own. If they ever came across a newborn or some aggressive coven again, Ellie would be able to protect every single one of her family members. She felt incredibly powerful, once the shock wore off. She had a purpose in life. She was a protector.

She was brushing out her freshly cleaned hair later that night when she heard a soft knock on her door.

"Come in," she called, already guessing it was Esme who had come to check up on her.

"Hi, baby. How are you holding up after everything?" Esme took the brush from her hands and took over the detangling process.

"I think I drowned any doubts in the tub. I feel like a lot of questions I've always had have finally been answered. It's a bit of a relief, to be honest."

"I'm glad to hear that, sweetheart." Esme's icy hands were surprisingly relaxing as they worked through her wild mane. "And you and Edward seem to have worked out whatever was going on."

Ellie nodded silently. Esme didn't miss a thing, did she?

"That warms my heart, so to speak. You two fighting just isn't right. I'm glad you're getting along again. Now get some sleep. Good night, Ellie baby." With a kiss on her freshly braided hair, Esme got up. She was about to close the door when Ellie thought of something.

"I love you, Mom."

Esme's eyes glistened. She was always touched when she realized her children viewed themselves as just that. "I love you too, darling."

Ellie turned off her light not too much later. Before getting into bed, she glanced outside. She wasn't sure what she was looking for out there, and tried to ignore that a part of her wanted Noah to be waiting out there for her again. Instead, she saw her silver wolf sitting at attention at the edge of her woods, standing sentinel like he did the night before. She blew a kiss to her furry friend, and he lay down. She smiled as she curled under her warm covers, and drifted to sleep to the sound of Edward expertly playing the piano three floors down.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day, Noah seemed to pick up on Ellie's enthusiasm as she hummed a song under her breath on the way home from the hospital.

"Lenny, what happened to you? Last time I leave you, you're beat up about your brother and you're having an identity crisis. Now you're positively chipper."

She grinned cheekily at him. "What? You don't like it? I can go back to being sad if you'd rather." She pretended to pout.

"No, I definitely prefer this."

Truth of the matter was, Ellie had finally found out who she was. Despite the fact that she was a natural enemy to her family, she realized that knowing this crucial piece of information about herself seemed to make everything right in the world. She felt as free as a bird.

"It's just… everything is right now, you know?"

Noah stared at her skeptically. "No, I don't know. What's right now?"

"Oh, _everything_, Noah! I wish I could explain it to you in a way that made sense. But I can't. Things are great now, between me and Edward, between everything."

She did wish she could explain absolutely everything that had happened to Noah, but that would ruin everything her family had established, everything they worked hard to keep a secret. He would have to settle for her vague explanation. Still, it seemed wrong to keep something from him, and she couldn't quite pinpoint why.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're doing better." He seemed to be unable to keep himself from smiling. Ellie guessed it was contagious. When he smiled this wide, she could see all of his teeth. She resisted the urge to stick a finger in the deep divot in his one cheek.

"Noah, let's go somewhere."

"Where do you want to go?" Before now, he had just taken her home from work. There were no stops in between.

"I don't care. Somewhere we've never gone before." She thought for a moment. "Why don't we go to your house? We're always at mine, visiting with my family. I've never even met your family before. I'd like to." She smiled encouragingly, but froze at his response. His eyes were tight, and his face fell.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why? Did you get into another fight with your brother?"

"Not another fight. It's still the same one these days. It's just…" Noah broke off, and Ellie had a realization, which made her eyebrows pull closer together.

"It's me, isn't it? I'm the reason your brother and you are fighting."

"No, it's not that," Noah responded immediately. Too quickly, Ellie thought.

"Don't lie to me, Noah Black."

"Well, you're part of it, I guess," he said reluctantly. "My family just doesn't approve of me spending so much time with yours, so much time off the reservation. But I've told you, I don't care what they think. I'd rather die than stay away from you." Noah took her hand in his, and kissed it. "So how about for today I just take you home. But tomorrow's Friday. What do you say to us going out, having a night on the town? There's a band coming into Port Angeles, maybe we could go out dancing." He watched her shyly out of the corner of his eyes.

"Oh. I don't know…" she started hesitantly, looking at her hands. Was he asking her out on a date? And she didn't dance…

"Let me guess. You've never gone dancing," Noah interrupted.

"Got me again," she smiled. How did he know her so well?

"Well, I'll have you know, I am an exceptional dancer. You won't even have to do much, just follow and look pretty. Which shouldn't be too hard for you." Ellie blushed scarlet, but grinned nevertheless at his compliment.

"Besides, your birthday's coming up, isn't it? September 20th, right?" Noah prompted at the blank look on her face. She had never celebrated birthdays before, except for Emmett's in 1935. Truth be told, she regularly forgot about hers and Edward's until the day had passed.

"It'll be a birthday treat, on me. How old are you going to be, anyways?"

Ellie froze, and tried to do some quick thinking. No one had ever asked her that.

"Twenty. I'll be twenty," she blurted out nervously, and almost immediately regretted it. She realized her age dictated Carlisle's age, which dictated how long they stayed in any one place. Edward had told her he was nineteen when they had first met, and they had stayed in Illinois for almost a decade. But he actually was nineteen when they had met, and no one else outside of the family saw him back then. Was it too late to correct herself now? She should have just told him seventeen, her actual physical age...

"Twenty's not so bad. It's funny; I figured you would be older than me," he said, not noticing her temporary panic.

"It's not my fault if you act like a child most of the time," she retorted, back to her sassy, chipper self. He stuck his tongue out at her and laughed.

Ellie was still elated when she waved him goodbye, promising to see him tomorrow. She practically danced into the house.

"Hi honey. Have a good day?" Esme was arranging flowers in the big, spacious entryway, and was smiling to herself.

Ellie skidded to a stop, not realizing that anyone else was home. She didn't realize her heart was racing until it was the only one she could hear.

"Ellie, darling, why don't you invite Noah over for dinner sometime? Maybe before you two go out dancing tomorrow? He hasn't met Edward yet, and I know Edward wants to meet him."

Ellie pursed her lips. How did Esme know they were going dancing already? She must have heard them talking outside. Really, if Ellie wasn't so distracted by Noah and had been paying proper attention, she would have been able to hear every flower stem brush against the glass vase in here. It wasn't such a surprise.

"I don't know, Esme. Dinner?" Ellie asked disbelievingly.

"Sure! He eats, doesn't he? Just because we don't doesn't mean we can't be social."

Ellie thought of how nice an offer that was, considering her family would just have to cough up all the food they pretended to eat anyway. Then she thought of how unwilling Rose would be to participate in such an activity.

"Well… maybe just after-dinner drinks."

"Sure, honey. Whatever you'd like."

Later that night, Ellie couldn't get to sleep. She tossed and turned before giving up and moving to her perch at her bay window. She looked out expectantly, and sure enough, there was her silver wolf, watching her as always. She waved at him, and he disappeared into the darkness once more.

Edward started playing something, and she could tell it was his own composition. Her thoughts got tangled with the notes he played, and she thought about her impending date with Noah tomorrow. A date made it sound so official and so binding, but then she realized that she had been more or less dating him all summer, without her ever realizing it.

She thought about Noah. Really, saying that they were dating barely covered what they were. Calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend seemed too trivial. After figuring out that she had only a few more years to spend with him, she realized how very much he meant to her. She couldn't imagine waking up without the prospect of seeing him. The rest of her eternal life seemed meaningless without his half-dimpled smile there to greet her or his fireball of a body to keep her warm.

Their relationship seemed to be at a fork in the road, and she debated which path to take.

Ellie let herself entertain the thought of being in love with Noah. She supposed she had been since she met him, if she was honest with herself. Did she believe in love at first sight? It happened with Carlisle and Esme and Rosalie and Emmett, didn't it? She let her imagination run slightly away from her, and she imagined her and Noah living happily ever after. But then she realized that eventually, Noah would begin to know something was wrong with her.

How long would it take before he realized she wasn't aging? 10 years? 20? Could she be stuck in a 17 year-old body forever, married to an old man? And then she realized her happily ever after with Noah involved several children with dark hair and green eyes running around a big yard. She knew how great of a father he would be. Could she even have children? Rose and Esme couldn't. What if he had dreams of having a big family? And most of all, even after all of this, if they were able to live a long human life together, what would happen when Noah would inevitably die? What would she do then?

Her thoughts were beginning to whirl and overwhelm her, making her dizzy and nauseous. She sat on the cool wooden floor with her head tucked between her knees. What in the world was she going to do?

The more she thought about it, the more she realized what she needed to do. What she _should_ do, if she wasn't so selfish. She needed to stop seeing him, stop misleading him. The mere thought of doing that brought her physical pain, though. Maybe she could just continue the façade, and then end it when she would inevitably have to leave in a few years. It didn't seem quite right to her to be lying like this, but it seemed the only way to keep everyone happy. For the time being, at least.

Ellie was surprised to see the first streaks of sunlight when she finally looked up, marking the start of the next day. She had gone the entire night without sleeping and was slightly surprised when she realized she wasn't at all tired. She had been doing that a lot lately, she noted.

She got dressed and crept downstairs. The house was empty, and there was a box with a note on the dining room table they never used.

_We've all gone hunting for the morning up north. We'll be back this afternoon. Enjoy the birthday present, it's from all of us! Love, Esme._

Ellie frowned. Of course they had gone hunting—she couldn't believe she hadn't even thought about the dangers of bringing a healthy human into the house, beating heart and all. That brought on a whole new set of fears for this evening. She realized she would be able to protect Noah, if it really came down to it, but she wholeheartedly hoped it didn't. They would have to leave immediately if he ever found out about them, and the thought of never seeing Noah again made her heart ache.

Trying to ignore those doomsday thoughts, she carefully opened the package. It contained possibly the most exquisite and fragile-looking dress Ellie had ever seen. It was a silky pale ivory, with intricate beading at the bodice and a delicate lace petticoat underneath. There was a pair of pearl and diamond hair combs at the bottom of the box. Underneath the table was a pair of satin heels that matched perfectly, tied together with a silver bow.

She had certainly come a long way from her gray dresses and habit at the convent.


	9. It's You

_Heyyy y'all. So, I realize I haven't updated in a long, long time (it surprised even me when I saw how long it had been)… Thanks for sticking with me (and Ellie and Noah, for that matter) :) I __will finish this beast (if it's the last thing I do)! Ellie's story is turning out to be a little more complex than I had anticipated (especially since the majority of the people involved aren't even my characters!), but I think you will enjoy it if you stick it out. Sigh. Please review to let me know what you're thinking as you read this!! Gracias, amigos :)_

_

* * *

  
_

**9. It's You**

This world is always trying to take a piece of me

But you are always there to make me feel complete

If I can keep my eyes on what you have for me

I will face the truth and never look away

You show me the real me

By Fireflight

The jazz club was packed, and Ellie was having a fantastic time. If all birthdays were like this, she didn't see why she didn't celebrate hers more often. She felt like a princess living out some fairy tale when she was out with Noah, like she was leading some kind of charmed life.

The handsome pair turned heads as soon as they walked in the door, and she was proud to have Noah as her date for the night. True to form, he wasn't kidding when he said the band was good or that he was a good dancer, and the two spent most of the night on the dance floor. There were quite a few moments, mostly during slower songs, where Ellie and Noah exchanged the same intense gaze they held during that first afternoon they spent together. She knew the satisfaction she drew from this exchange was wrong, but couldn't help smiling to herself whenever he would finally look away.

The club was starting to empty when Noah reluctantly suggested they should be heading back and Ellie reluctantly agreed. It was colder outside than she remembered, and Noah wrapped his suit jacket tightly around her when she shivered. It was incredibly warm inside his jacket, which carried his comforting, outdoorsy scent that always reminded her of the ocean.

Silence fell between the two as they climbed into his truck. Noah's hand was on the key in the ignition, about to turn it when Ellie interrupted.

"Noah, I had an amazing time tonight. This was easily the best birthday I've ever had. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Lenny. I had a great time, too," Noah responded softly and somewhat distantly, as if he had a million thoughts running through his head as well.

She curled her body against his as he started the ignition, and leaned her head into his warm chest. Noah smiled to himself as she sighed contentedly.

The pair rode home in amicable silence until they pulled into Ellie's long driveway. Ellie was memorizing the rhythm of Noah's heart beat, thinking of how strong and powerful his was. It seemed to be the most significant sound in the world to her at that very moment in time. She placed a small hand against her own heart, wondering if it would be possible to synchronize their hearts like you would a clock. She was pleasantly surprised when she realized their hearts already werein unison. Like they were meant to be.

She saw a big grin spread against Noah's face out of the corner of her eye, and the truck slowed down as they approached the big, lit-up house.

"What are you smiling so big about, Noah Black?"

The car was barely crawling now, and she pulled away from him just enough to see his face. Her hand didn't move off her heart. Noah didn't respond, and instead kept smiling at her. It would be slightly alarming, if he wasn't so cute. Especially because he was no longer paying attention to the narrow path that twisted its way up to her house. She pulled herself out of her reverie.

"Have you lost your mind? What is going on?"

Noah stopped the car once they had finally made it to the front of the house, and threw the truck into park. "Marry me."

"What?" Ellie's breathing caught, and she looked at him as her ears rang with his words. She must have been hearing things to have imagined he just that.

"Marry me! Dammit, Lenny, you need me so badly in your life. I'm good for you, and you know it. Marry me."

Ellie's jaw dropped, and the stubborn part of her dug its heels into the ground. Was he asking her, or telling her?

"I'm sorry. Is this supposed to be your idea of a _proposal_?"

"Yes. It is," he said proudly, still smiling.

Something woke up in the pit of her stomach, and Ellie wasn't sure what it was. It made her heart and her thoughts race in two different directions. One path made her want to throw her arms around Noah. The other wanted to throw her hands around his neck.

"Noah, darling," she said calmly, unable to not use a patronizing tone. "I think you misunderstand the purpose of a proposal. You see, the purpose is to actually propose the idea of spending the rest of your life with someone, and to _ask_ a woman whether or not she wants to marry you. And to maybe offer it in an appealing way. As in, offering her, say, a ring that summarizes your feelings for her. You don't just tell a woman she has no other options."

Noah actually snorted at her, like that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. "Please, Len, you and I both know you have no choice _but_ to marry me."

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon. It's not like there's any other guy out there."

Noah seemed surprised by the insulted look she gave him, and she rolled her eyes as she reached for the passenger door handle. "I'm leaving now," she informed him.

She saw Edward peeking at them from behind the living room curtain, which reminded her that he owed her an explanation. She paused for just a second, giving Noah a chance to redeem himself before she went inside.

"No, that's not what I meant! I meant that there is no other guy out there who is as perfectly made for you like I am! And you know that. Deep down in your gut, you know I'm the only guy for you. C'mon, Len. I would treat you like a princess for the rest of your life. We would have a good time, you and I."

Ellie tried to push away the image of the two of them living happily ever after that she had first come up with the night before. She had to admit, he was right. They probably would have a good time. If they weren't so busy jumping down each other's throats, that is.

"Noah, a marriage is more than just having a good time," she said just as much to herself as to him.

"I know that, Len."

"And did you even bother to think this through?" She continued, ignoring him. "You'd have to ask Carlisle for his permission, first of all. And then there's the matter of where we'd live—we can't live with your mother for the rest of our lives, for instance. You said your family doesn't even like me. This… This _marriage_ doesn't even make sense."

She hissed the word "marriage" like it was a curse word.

"Those are just details. We'd figure them out together. What doesn't make sense is being without you. I can't imagine how I would ever exist without you telling me how much of a moron I'm being half the time. I need you, just as much as you need me. I love you, Lenny. You're my moon and my earth and my stars. You're my everything."

Her heart melted at his words. She considered Noah for a moment and tried to form an unbiased opinion of him. He was handsome, even if she was trying to view him objectively. He was optimistic just as much as he was a sarcastic pain, and he was kind. He loved her unconditionally, that much she knew. True to his word, he would treat her like a princess. Noah Black was everything she could envision wanting in a husband, and more.

_This is wrong_, a little voice reminded her then.

At first she thought Edward was intruding, but realized it was just her. And the voice was right. She was lying to him—he didn't love her, he loved some humanized side of her. He would be able to see something wasn't quite right with her if he was honest with himself. He knew she wasn't normal. But he didn't know the half of it—of her eternally thirsty family, of how she could snap a small tree in two with her bare hands or hear the rustling feathers of the owl sixty feet above their heads. And then there was her ability to blast vampires to ashes…

"Noah, you don't want to marry me," she said softly.

"And why is that?" He asked it like he was waiting for the punchline of a joke she had just told.

"Because I'm not right for you, Noah Black. I'm all wrong. You deserve someone a lot better than me."

"Who could be better for me than you?"

Someone human, she offered in her head. A nice girl from the reservation. But the thought of him courting someone else made her guts blaze in jealous anger, and the look she gave him she supposed could have been mistaken as smoldering. Noah carefully brushed the hair off her shoulders, resting his hands on either side of her neck reassuringly. His hands cupped either side of her face as she gnawed her lip in anxiety.

"I love you, Eleanor Cullen," he said roughly, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles on her jaw. "But you worry too much for your own good."

She could feel his hot breath against her lips. In an automatic reaction, she tilted her head towards Noah. He closed the space between them, pressing his surprisingly soft lips gently against hers. The electric current that passed between them shocked her, although whether it was real or imagined, she wasn't entirely sure.

She didn't anticipate her response. As her heart burst through her ear drums, she crushed her body against his, her hands weaving into his silky hair, pulling him closer to her as she kissed him with everything she had in her. She forgot to restrain her strength, and for a second she thought she had injured him, based on the noise he made. Instead, Noah responded with just as much strength if not more, and pressed her body against the passenger door, making the metal groan slightly from the force of it. Although no part of her wanted him to extricate himself, she wondered vaguely how he had done it. Surely this strength was not natural. Then again, she didn't bother questioning it.

One strong, burning hand was traveling up her thigh, following the elastic bands that kept her stockings up. The other held steadfast onto her neck, one thumb still rubbing slow, rhythmic circles into her cheek. Her hands were everywhere, and they seemed to work independently from her brain. Somehow they had found their way underneath his shirt, and enjoyed resting momentarily on the small of his hot back. Once they started unbuttoning his shirt, though, he hesitated slightly.

"Len," he said breathlessly, seeming unable to keep his lips off hers. His tone was clear, though—she had crossed the line. Still, he didn't stop what _he_ was doing.

"Okay," she said, just as breathlessly, and made a conscious effort to restrain herself.

But her hands had a mind of their own once Noah started kissing her again. In what was unmistakably a growl, Noah released his hold on her neck. Grabbing both of her hands in one of his large ones, he held them tight above her head. With that move, though, their bodies had shifted slightly, and Ellie found that she was able to wrap one leg around his torso. She liked how perfectly their bodies seemed to fit against one another's. Once his hand let go of hers, they found their way right back to his shirt buttons. With a louder, angrier growl, Noah brought his hand to one of hers again, although this time he didn't seem to paying as close of attention as before. With a loud cracking sound, he crashed her hand against the window.

Ellie gasped, momentarily in pain before it was completely forgotten about. It wasn't nearly noticeable enough to make her stop what she was doing, though her gasp was apparently all Noah needed.

"Lenny! Are you okay?"

Suddenly Noah was completely alert as though he hadn't been kissing the living daylights out of her, and pulled himself far away to the other side of the truck's cab. It took Ellie a moment to realize what he was so upset about. Looking drunkenly up at her hand, she saw that it had been thrown against the window with quite some force, cracking the glass as if a stone had been thrown at it from the inside. Wrenching her hand out of the window with a bit of effort, she saw some shards had pierced her skin. Her hand was a wreck, but it was nothing she hadn't experienced before. The bones in her hand seemed to be crushed, and it hung there limply.

Carefully, she extricated the glass, and ignoring the new waves of pain, forced her hand to stretch out. If the bones set funny, Carlisle would just have to re-break them, not to mention the fact that Emmett wouldn't hesitate to make fun of her temporary claw. Once she felt the bones solidify, she tested them, making a fist and then stretching her fingers back out. It was slightly stiff, but seemed to be fine otherwise. The stiffness would go away shortly.

She heard a gasp as she shook out her hand, and remembered she wasn't alone.

"What…" Noah started, looking completely alarmed.

Ellie found herself surprisingly pleased that he had just witnessed her heal. She could easily spin a story out from here about why she didn't age, and then maybe they really _could_ live happily ever after. Edward had once said that people would fall for anything if you just said it confidently enough.

"Shh, Noah, it's okay," she said with a big smile. She was elated about this new prospect, not to mention that her body was still humming contentedly from his touch. "It's okay. I… do that sometimes."

"I. Hurt. You," he said mechanically, as if she hadn't just interrupted him.

Ellie couldn't help herself, but she laughed at his bewildered expression.

"Don't worry about it. I've had plenty worse, believe me. But I always fix myself up, good as new. It's just some weird thing I was born with."

"You've had worse," he repeated, sounding altogether displeased with that information.

Then a look of dawning realization spread out across his face, followed by a wild look that transformed his features, making him almost unrecognizable. Ellie watched the emotions play out across his face in awe, her eyebrows slightly furrowed as she tried to commit each new look of his to memory.

"Th-that's… That's how you can live with them. That's… They… You…" Noah trailed off, and he seemed to shake slightly.

No, the whole cab was shaking now. They must be having an earthquake, Ellie noted in the back of her mind as she tried to decipher Noah's cryptic statement.

"Noah, calm down." Ellie was still confused as she reached up to soothe him. Noah recoiled from her touch, jumping away from her like she was something undesirable. That's when she realized she had offered him the hand that had just healed. She pulled it away from him, hiding it behind her.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y…" He stuttered.

She stared at him, not willing herself to believe this sudden transformation of his was all because of her healing. Surely he wouldn't take back everything he had just said because of her stupid hand?

"Ellie, get out of the truck."

Ellie jumped as she realized that Carlisle was suddenly standing just on the other side of her door.

"Carlisle? What are you doing? I'm fine, go back inside."

Ellie threw him a quick, exasperated look, and turned back around to face Noah in concern. Noah was positively vibrating now as he glared over Ellie's shoulder at Carlisle with a look of utmost hatred and revulsion. Ellie recoiled at the look she had only ever seen Noah use with those outrageously large wolves at the beach.

"Noah-"

"GET OUT! GET OUT, _NOW_!"

He exploded at her. Ellie sat frozen in shock like he had just slapped her, not entirely sure what was going on or what was happening to her Noah. Suddenly she was back on the porch, her arms wrapped around her cold father as the truck peeled away from her, tires squealing against the dirt. Carlisle had pulled her out of the truck at lightning-fast speed just as Noah had hit the gas pedal. She stood beside Carlisle, leaning against him for support as she stared after Noah's long-gone truck, trying to figure what in the world had just happened.


	10. Vindicated

_I am selfish, I am wrong  
I am right, I swear I'm right  
Swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now  
The things you swore you saw yourself_

- Dashboard Confessional

* * *

"… and I say we just go down there, ask them what their problem is, and deal with it."

Ellie pressed her forehead against the front window as her family hashed out a plan. A plan on what to do with their new werewolf problem.

"Yeah, except their problem is that they want us all dead, Em," Edward replied. "And what are you going to say to that?"

"I say we fight it out. It's the only way this problem is going to get resolved. And two to one is bad enough numbers to make anyone listen, if that's what you'd rather."

"Emmett," Carlisle finally interrupted. "Think of what you're saying."

Once Carlisle pulled her into the house, Edward was more than willing to explain his odd behavior earlier in the evening. It appeared Ellie wasn't the only one keeping secrets. Noah was a wolf—her wolf, she thought automatically—along with the three other evil-looking men they had seen that one day on the dock. The reason why Noah's brother hated her so much was because she was somehow linked to the coven of vampires that Ephraim, the pack's leader, felt was his pack's duty to kill.

Whatever spark had flown between them that first day in the clearing had complicated the situation, immensely so. Imprinting, Edward had said it was called. Now that Noah wasn't all for annihilating her family, Ephraim wasn't entirely sure what to do about it. It was pack law to not hurt those the pack had imprinted on, and Noah was apparently putting up a good argument that attacking her family meant attacking Ellie. All the same, Ephraim didn't feel comfortable having the vampires so close to the reservation they were bound to protect.

And now the Cullens were at a loss of what to do. Edward's ability had always helped them out before to figure out when to leave before—when someone was getting too close to guessing what they were or what exactly made them so unique. Was this time any different? Now there was an entire tribe who knew what they were, and her family was debating what exact path to take as Ellie waited for her fate to be sealed.

She stared miserably out at the woods which seemed so empty without her silver wolf guarding them. What else had Noah been hiding from her? She had thought their relationship was so honest. And here they were both hiding the essence of what they were from one another.

"Well, Carlisle, do you have any better ideas?" Emmett was continuing the discussion, which was flourishing without her input.

"I definitely do not want this to end in a fight. There must be some way to make Ephraim see reason. I can understand that he only wants to protect his family, but we have proven how very different we are from the tales they have."

"And if he doesn't see reason?" Emmett retorted.

There was a long pause as everyone realized exactly what they would do. What they had done time and time before. Ellie looked up, feeling Carlisle's pained expression boring through her.

"I'm not leaving," she stated stubbornly, responding to his unspoken thought. "I'm not leaving Noah."

"Then bring him along! I always liked dogs," Emmett joked, trying to bring levity to the situation, as always. The grin fell from his face with the look Ellie gave him. "No, but he's a good guy. I don't see why he shouldn't come with us."

"Provided he stays downwind," Rosalie said, mostly under her breath.

"El, you don't even know him," Edward interjected. "If he didn't tell you about being a werewolf, then what else hasn't he told you? How do you know he's not just using you as a tool for the pack to get to us?"

Ellie's nostrils flared as she glared at her brother. It felt like he had just slapped her. She was speechless. "I love him," she said angrily, tears coming to her eyes.

"Ellie, give me a break." Edward thought she was being ridiculous about this, but she didn't feel like she was. She threw him a look of deep betrayal as she read his thoughts.

"Edward," Rosalie said in a patronizing tone. "Stop trying to talk about things you know nothing about."

"Enough," Esme commanded, intercepting the fight that was about to ensue. "We don't know enough about this situation to act upon it at this moment. Regardless of everything else, Ellie cares about Noah, and that makes him a part of this family. We owe it to her, and to Noah, to hear his side of the story. Maybe Noah can act as the go-between and get Ephraim to change his mind. He seems to have prevented them from attacking thus far, who's to say he can't continue doing that?"

Carlisle nodded his resounding agreement. The verdict was in—she and Noah were safe, for the time being, at least. There was a long pause, and Ellie could see her siblings agreed with their parents to varying degrees.

"How much damage do you really think their teeth can do, though?" Emmett posed the question to no one in particular after a moment.

"Ugh. Enough, baby," Rosalie said.

"Do you think maybe Noah…"

"No," both Rosalie and Ellie said at the same time.

"C'mon! Just one bite! On my finger or toe. Something little like that."

"Absolutely not," Esme said as Ellie threw him an exasperated look.

"Baby, I like your fingers," Rose continued quietly.

Ellie rolled her eyes. After exchanging a long look, the pair went off under the pretense of hunting. Carlisle and Esme were talking quietly in the corner, and Ellie seized the semi-alone time she had with her twin.

_Edward_, she called to him as he began to go outside. He turned around, showing that he was giving her his full attention. _Do you really think that about Noah and me? That what we have isn't…_

_El, I don't know what I think. Maybe Rosalie is right. I know nothing about this. _

_You don't really think that she's right, though. You can't lie to me. _

_No, that's true, I can't. I think you you're too young and don't know him well enough to decide whether or not you love him. I think true, true love is rare, and is mostly just for the stories we read. _

_What about Esme and Carlisle? _

Ellie didn't want to open the can of worms that was him calling her too young. She was almost forty, for goodness' sake.

_What Esme and Carlisle have is rare, you see that too. The two of them are very loving, very kind creatures. That doesn't just happen every day._

_Noah is like that too, deep down. You just haven't gotten to know him yet. _

_I'll admit the way he regards you is quite bizarre. There's something to be said about imprinting. But is imprinting love, El? Or is it just some odd fluke like me becoming a vampire or you being a protezioni? _

"Yes, it is love," Ellie sputtered out aloud. Her breathing was starting to come out in gasps, and she realized her exclamation brought Carlisle and Esme's attention to them.

_What is love, if it's not just some odd fluke, Edward?_ She hissed her thoughts angrily at him. _Falling in love is no more or less strange than becoming a vampire, or a wolf, or some kind of protector. I love him, Edward, and he loves me. You need to accept that._

"Ellie, he's not being honest with you! You love some hypothetical version of him! It's not real!" he exclaimed, exasperated.

Ellie felt like she had been sucker-punched as all the breath flew out of her. She grabbed at her heart, and gave him a dangerous look.

"Sometimes you say the most hateful, devastating things, Edward Cullen, did you know that?" She gave him a look, reminding him of the last fight they had gotten into, before turning on her heel and storming up the stairs to her room.

"Oh, Edward," Esme said quietly before following closely behind Ellie.

Esme caught Ellie's bedroom door before it slammed shut on its hinges. Feeling extremely overdramatic, Ellie flung herself face-down on her bed, feeling miserable about the whole thing. Esme sat down beside her much less dramatically. She rubbed a cold hand up and down Ellie's back, soothing her, but not completely. The only person who could really console her now was as hot as a fire and miles away, and probably running on four paws right now.

"It is love, what Noah and I have, isn't it, Esme?" Ellie lifted her head slightly to the side as she addressed her mother.

"Oh, sweet Ellie, I can't tell you that. That's something only you and Noah would know." She gave her a smile. "But what I do know is that you light up like a bulb when he's around. He's able to pull these deep, powerful emotions out of you like no one else can and he makes you show your true colors. I think he's changed your life dramatically, and that's a hard thing to do for people like us."

Ellie considered all of this. "But what Edward said…" She trailed off. Edward could read people's thoughts; didn't that give him some kind of omniscience in the matter?

"Baby, Edward's judgment is clouded. He's more than a little jealous and he's scared of losing you to a person he doesn't even know."

"Jealous?" Ellie asked skeptically.

"Of course. When he left, he expected everything here would stay the same. That you would always love him the best and you two would always have each other, no matter what. He wanted you to be waiting in the wings for his arrival with open arms. He didn't expect you to have become your own person as well. He didn't realize that you would be questioning him and his actions as much as you question everyone else's. And now there's this complete stranger that is encouraging all of this from you, who you spend all your time with, and who you've given your heart to. Edward doesn't quite understand that the heart grows and changes to make room for each person in your life. You've thrown him for a loop, Ellie darling."

Ellie mulled this over as a knock sounded from her door. _Edward_, Ellie groaned to herself.

"Come in," Esme said, watching Ellie.

"How are you holding up?" Carlisle took her by surprise as he sat on the foot of her bed. Ellie pulled herself to a seated position to see him better, immediately feeling sheepish over her dramatics.

"I'm fine," Ellie said automatically.

"Good. Ellie, I just wanted to let you know that I really do view Noah as part of this family, and I'm not alone in my thinking."

"Thanks, Carlisle."

"You're welcome, darling. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"Ask Edward," Ellie said petulantly.

"Edward decided it was time to go for a run somewhere up north," Carlisle stated.

Ellie pursed her lips. She didn't like involving third parties to her and Edward's bizarre conversations.

"Carlisle, Ellie was wondering if what she feels is love," Esme stated instead. "What do you think?"

Carlisle chuckled softly. "I don't know what to tell her, Esme." Ellie didn't miss the loving caress that Esme's name became when Carlisle spoke it. "Love is the most powerful thing out there, sweetheart. You've heard me preach how I think this family's ties are so much stronger because we stick together out of love and devotion to one another. For humans, I have seen love facilitate medical miracles. At the same time, love creates the deepest wounds. So it's a tossup, I suppose.

"But," he said with a smile, reaching for Esme's hand. "'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.' You know that quote as well as I do, Ellie, in addition to a hundred others that express it just as poetically. True love is the most amazing thing you can ever experience."

Ellie nodded, and watched her parents exchange a sweet look with one another. Once they left, she rooted around in her chaotic nightstand drawer for the old Bible she still kept. Flipping through it, she found the passage Carlisle referred to, and read it several times. As she eventually returned the book to its resting place, she noticed a familiar looking box at the very bottom of the drawer. It was an old music box she had gotten years ago that stored all of her sentimental mementos: a brooch Esme had given her as a family heirloom, letters and postcards from Emmett and Rosalie's trip around the world, pictures of her family, ticket stubs from her favorite plays and the first "talkie" movie she ever went to—things she felt funny framing and decorating her room with, but wanted to hold onto nonetheless. Caressing the items she went over like they were holy objects, she noticed a yellowed piece of paper sticking out from the bottom.

Gently extracting it, she saw the letter her biological mother had written her years and years ago. Her breath caught as she re-read the letter. The last thing her mother had wished for her was to follow her heart. Her heart felt like it had been battered, but it still pointed her in one direction. Ellie got up, changed out of her outfit for a more sensible dress, sweater and Emmett's old boots, and immediately headed for the door.


	11. Crazier

_I was trying to fly  
But I couldn't find wings  
You came along and you changed everything  
You lift my feet off the ground  
You spin me around  
You make me crazier, crazier_

- Crazier by Taylor Swift

* * *

Ellie's tenacity had gotten her as far as the reservation. Then her doubts began to kick in.

First of all, she had absolutely no idea where Noah lived. She didn't even know where there were houses on the reservation. Aside from the beach, she had never set foot inside reservation territory. None of this seemed to matter when she set off from her house… not until she realized she was, for all intents and purposes, lost in the dark woods. And now reality was setting in.

Noah seemed dangerously angry when he left her earlier in the evening, and she wondered why that was. They had gotten in plenty of fights before, but this seemed different. First of all, there was no actual argument or disagreement that she could remember having with him. He had seen her hand heal, which could easily be the cause of his sudden coolness. But if what Edward saw was true about imprinting, that shouldn't matter, should it? Surely someone who could turn into a wolf wouldn't get that upset over a seemingly normal human who could just heal... right?

Then there was the whole issue with the other wolves. Wandering around by herself in the forest when there was a pack of murderous wolves on the loose seemed incredibly stupid now. She did have the fact that she wasn't a vampire on her side. Plus the rest of the pact couldn't hurt her because Noah had imprinted. But now that she thought about it, did Edward say they couldn't hurt her or couldn't kill her? Even if she could spring back from death, it wasn't a pleasant experience that she generally looked forward to.

A cold breeze blew past her, carrying the scent of something unpleasant and the sensation that she was being watched. The hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention, and she whipped around. There was no one there, but that scent gave her an idea. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she gave herself over to her senses.

The first thing Ellie noticed was that she only used a small percentage of her five senses in daily life. There were a lot of things she took for granted. First off, she could sense a change in the pressure and the humidity in the air that made her think it would rain soon. She could hear the sound of waves crashing against rock far away in the distance. But most importantly, she could smell humans.

She ran towards the scent, realizing she could run just as fast as her siblings if properly motivated. A minute or so later, she triumphantly broke through the thick forest onto what was unmistakably a front yard. Feeling rather proud of herself, she came to a halt a few feet away from the house. She considered the small home for a moment. Now what? It was far too early to be knocking on the front door and inquiring if Noah Black lived there. She gnawed on her bottom lip as she considered her newest complication. Maybe she could sneak in? Surely it wasn't breaking in if you didn't actually break anything…

Her hand was on the front door knob when a breeze assaulted her with a whole new onslaught of smells. She could pull out at least four very distinct, very strong smells here. She smiled with new triumph—she didn't need to break in at all now that she could simply smell who lived here.

"What do you think you're doing?"

A lightly accented, very deep voice interrupted her thoughts, making her jump about a mile out of her skin. She whipped around, surprised that someone could have snuck up on her like that. A large, intimidating looking man was looking at her skeptically. She clutched at her heart, which was racing.

"Well?" he prompted accusingly.

Now that she took a better look at him, there was something familiar about him. He was obscenely tall, shirtless, barefoot, and had a close-cropped hairstyle that reminded her of Noah. The more she looked at his face, the more she saw just how wrong she was in calling him a man. He was maybe the size of a thirty year-old lumberjack, but he had the face of someone her age, maybe younger. Although she could tell he was trying to look scary, his dark eyes were kind.

"I'm looking for Noah Black," she stated.

"You're way off," he said conversationally. "This is my house. I'm Quil." The man-boy smiled kindly at her, but didn't offer his hand.

"Hello, Quil. I'm Ellie."

"I know."

She waited in silence for him to offer her directions, a suggestion, or anything else that could be of assistance. After a while she was beginning to realize she was waiting in vain.

"Quil, can you tell me where Noah's house is, then?" She tried to be patient with him, but patience was not one of her virtues.

"No."

Her nostrils flared slightly. "No as in you don't know where he lives, or no as in you don't want to tell me where he lives?"

"No as in I _can't_ tell you where he lives." He continued standing there, smiling pleasantly as if it was perfectly normal to be having a conversation like this at three o'clock in the morning.

"Can you at least point me in the direction of where he lives?"

"Nope. I am in no way, shape, or form to tell you, indicate to you, or in any way imply where Noah Black lives." He put his hands in his pockets and rocked onto the balls of his feet.

"So then what are you doing here?"

"Making sure that you're not doing some kind of revenge killing spree on our families."

Ellie's eyes bugged out slightly, and her jaw dropped. For a second he had rendered her speechless. "I would never do that," she said quietly, highly affronted.

"I didn't think so, but we can never be sure." He continued smiling pleasantly.

With a frustrated growl, she stomped off in the opposite direction toward Quil's neighbors' house.

"Wait, where are you going?" Quil called after her, jogging to her side.

"To Noah's."

"But you don't know where he lives."

"Well he's bound to live in one of these houses, isn't he?"

Quil looked like he very much wanted to say something, but his jaw seemed clamped shut. "So you're just going to go to every single house until you find him?"

"Yes."

"That's going to take forever. And it's going to rain soon."

"If it bothers you so much, you could help me out, you know. Maybe get Noah for me? Or tell me where he lives?"

"Nah, I told you, I can't!"

Quil trailed behind her in silence as she tried out each and every house she came across. She didn't need more than a moment or two on each house's stoop to determine that Noah wasn't in any of these places. After a few houses, she realized she was rather skilled at deciphering the smells, too. She could narrow down each house's inhabitants into male or female, young or old just by standing there on the porch. At the fifth house, it began to drizzle, diluting the scents slightly. By house eight, it started to pour.

"Am I at least getting close?" Ellie shouted through the deluge to her new companion.

Quil shrugged, and Ellie scooped up some mud and launched it in his direction, making him guffaw as he artfully dodged her mudball.

"How do you know Noah's not in the houses you go to?"

Ellie considered Quil, briefly wondering if he was trying to play mind games with her before realizing he was genuinely curious. "I can smell the people in there, and I know Noah's scent. He hasn't even visited any of these houses."

"But no human should be able to tell that," Quil bellowed over the downpour.

"You should have realized by now that I'm not quite human."

"But you're not a… a, uh, cold one, either," Quil said, stumbling slightly over the phrase.

"No, I'm not," Ellie agreed. Cold one was one way of putting it. "I'm something in between, I suppose."

"You know, Noah saw you could heal yourself tonight and thought that was how you can live with them. Like you were some kind of refillable food source they kept around."

Ellie stopped dead in her tracks. "What?!" A hiss escaped her mouth.

"That's what Noah thought," Quil repeated, looking alarmed at her reaction.

Ellie's heart skipped a beat, and thoughts of Noah doing something rash started racing through her mind. "Quil, this is serious, where is Noah?" Ellie had her hands on either side of Quil's massive shoulders and considered shaking him.

"I told you, I can't say!"

"Quil, I'm not joking, what if Noah decides to go after my family?"

"Whoa, relax. We've taken care of that. He can't set foot on your land."

"What?" She was distracted by the way he said this. "What do you mean Noah can't set foot on my land?"

Suddenly Quil looked uncomfortable, like he had maybe said too much. He scratched the back of his head absently. "Well, you know. Just like I can't tell you where Noah is, Noah can't go onto any land owned by your family."

Ellie's brows furrowed. "I don't get it. Noah hates being told what to do. Why would he listen?"

"Yeah, well, what Ephraim says, goes. We're watching Noah closely tonight. He'll be okay."

With an unsatisfied harrumph, Ellie continued onward. She could tell she was getting towards the center of the reservation because the houses were getting closer together, just like with a city and its suburbs. She wondered how long she had been going at this. The sky didn't appear to be getting any brighter, nor did the torrential rain show any signs of lightening. Ellie was soaked to the bone, but she didn't really care. She was driven crazy by her mission, and her brain seemed to be operating on one track.

She suddenly found herself standing on the front walkway leading to a slightly larger house than all the rest. From this reddish house, she could see the school and several larger, commercial-looking buildings. There were a thousand different scents here, not all of them entirely human. She got excited, and began jogging down the front path. This was most definitely Noah's house. About a foot away from the front door a large, menacing figure deftly intercepted her path. She rolled her eyes up at the man, not entirely surprised to see him. This had to be Ephraim. When she looked behind her, she saw that Quil had disappeared.

"Ellie Cullen, go home." Ephraim's voice was commanding, and his posture implied authority.

"Excuse me?" She crossed her arms tightly, ready for the disagreement she was sure was about to occur.

"Go home. You are not wanted here."

She snorted. "Nice try. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm here to see your brother."

"Ellie, please, listen to me. I will not stop you. But I am asking you to leave him alone."

"And why would you do that? Because you're a tyrant who hates to see his followers happy?"

"No, Ellie. Because I am his older brother who has his best interests at heart."

"No, you have what you think his best interests should be at heart. You have no idea what they actually are."

Ephraim sighed. "I know you love him. I can see that. But I wonder if you can see the pain your relationship creates for him. Every day he struggles between doing what he knows is right for his tribe and his family and what is right for you and yours."

"And are those things so very different?"

"I am presuming that by now, you know that they are."

"My family is just the same as—"

Ephraim cut her off by raising his enormous hands. "I am not here to discuss your family, Ellie. I am here to discuss you and my brother. I am beseeching you to end your relationship with him, because I know he never will be able to do it himself. It is best for the whole situation."

Ellie's nostrils flared. "You have no idea what is best, Ephraim," she fumed. "No idea. As long as Noah will have me, I am his, and I will protect him no matter what until the very end of time. You can't get rid of me so easily, I'm afraid."

She made to step around Ephraim and go into the house, but Ephraim agilely blocked every path she tried to take.

"Fine," she growled petulantly. "Have it your way." She crossed her arms stubbornly in front of her. "Noah!" Ellie called up at the house through the rain, ignoring Ephraim. "Noah!"

"Ellie?" A disbelieving voice called to her left, making her whip around.

Noah, in shorts and bare feet, just like the one time she had found him roaming around her house, was walking towards her. He was seemingly oblivious to the cold and the rain as he approached, appearing to have come from the woods. Quil and another man-boy were trotting along in his wake. Ephraim made a contemptuous noise in the back of his throat.

"Ellie, what are you doing out here in the rain? You're going to catch a cold!" Noah said concernedly as he loped up to her, seeming to ignore Ephraim, that it was pouring, and incredibly early in the morning.

A small smile came to Ellie's face and she shook her head at Noah's unnecessary worry. She couldn't ignore the part of her that sang in response to Noah's approach after waiting for it for so long. But she also couldn't ignore the fact that as big as she thought Noah was, he was far and away the smallest of the four Quileutes by almost half a foot. Was he the runt of the pack? She couldn't help but remember Emmett's plan earlier in the evening. Even if her family outnumbered the wolves almost two-to-one, she had a nagging suspicion that the wolves would not be concerned by the numbers or even outmatched in the slightest.

She reached out both hands for Noah's, and smiled as he took them. Seeing him almost made her completely forget her mission and the serious talk she had come here to have. She found that all she could do was grin stupidly up at him and watch him grin stupidly right back at her. With one enormous paw of a hand, he swept the rain sodden hair out of her face and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

She smiled even wider as Ephraim cleared his throat. She had to resist the urge to turn around and stick her tongue out at him. Instead, she turned around, leaning against Noah's body that was like a 6 foot-tall heater, and watched as Noah and Ephraim exchanged quick, short words in a language Ellie had never heard before. She guessed it was Quileute, and at times it sounded like they were singing the words in a strange, deep, motorboat melody. When they stopped talking, she saw Quil and the fourth boy begin to walk up toward the house, and she figured their conversation was done. Ephraim continued watching her imperiously.

"Want to take a walk?" Noah whispered to her. Ellie nodded, and finally tore her gaze from Ephraim's dark, unreadable eyes. Intertwining her hand in his, Noah led her back out to the woods where he had come from, away from the red house.

In the green cover of the forest, the rain fell more gently. Ellie was reminded of a cleansing shower and welcomed the rain; her body long accustomed to the cool air. They ambled in silence for a few minutes until the trees began to thin out. Ellie could hear waves and taste the salty air through the rain, and guessed they were close to the shoreline. Sure enough, once they broke through the trees they ended up at the cliff where they spent that first afternoon together. Ellie smiled at the memory and looked up at the dark gray sky which was trying to lighten with the sunrise. It was beautiful to watch the rain fall over the choppy waves of the dark ocean, and Ellie let herself get lost in the scenery for a moment. Once Ellie let go of Noah's hand, he paced in front of her a few times before forcing himself to sit down on a fallen log.

"I'm sorry about before, in the truck. I behaved atrociously."

Ellie shrugged, and gave him a small smile. "It's okay."

With that, he was up and pacing again. "No, it's not! I could have hurt you horribly, Len." He seemed to shudder at this thought.

Ellie chuckled. "No, you couldn't. You saw in the truck. I can't get hurt."

Noah frowned crossly. "No. You might be able to fix yourself up as good as new, but you can still get hurt."

Ellie considered his words. "I suppose. But no lasting harm can be done. The pain lasts for maybe five seconds, and then it's over. I don't think I can even die, actually. When I first met Edward, or re-met, I guess, I stabbed myself clear through the neck with a pair of scissors. Once he had the sense to pull them out, I was as good as new. Not even a scar to show for it."

Noah's breath caught, and Ellie watched him closely. "Your—your _brother_, Edward…" His voice faded, and seemed to be trying very hard to stay calm.

"Yes, my brother."

"Quil said… Is he your actual brother?"

Ellie smiled. "Yes. We're twins. I wasn't lying when I said that before. The rest are just as much my family, but Edward and I are the only ones who are actually related."

"You look alike," Noah offered.

"Except for the eyes, of course," she said carefully, watching Noah's reaction.

He sat back down and considered her for a long moment. "What _are_ you, Lenny?"

She gave him a small smile. "I'm not human, I'm not a vampire, I'm not a wolf… They call me a protezioni—a protector. I'm made to go after vampires."

Noah sat at attention, and blinked several times at her word choices.

"I don't, though, of course. Or at least, not intentionally. When Edward first came home, we had a bit of a run in with a wild nomad. But I don't do anything like that on purpose, and I certainly don't go searching for them."

Noah seemed to shudder at that thought. "How can you live with them?"

Ellie shrugged. "How can you live with anyone? We all get on each other's nerves every once in a while, but otherwise we're a big, relatively happy family. When I came across Edward, Carlisle and Esme took me in before we all even knew what I was. Then Carlisle found Rosalie and Rose found Emmett, and here we are."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"No."

Noah looked at her and nodded seriously.

"I mean, there have been scuffles, just like with any other family," she backtracked. "But they're all good people, Noah. To the core. I've never met anyone as compassionate and loving as Carlisle and Esme in all my years. And the rest of us have adopted their values. My family isn't like other vampires, and I think you see that, too. They don't hunt humans. They live off of the blood of animals, and they've done so for years and years. We try to coexist and blend in as much as possible."

"How does Carlisle do it? I saw him in the hospital. There was blood everywhere, and he didn't even flinch."

Ellie smiled at Noah's awe. "It's mind over matter. Carlisle says that just because we've been dealt a certain hand doesn't mean we have to lose ourselves to it. It also doesn't hurt that Carlisle has had centuries of experience being a surgeon. I think he's practically desensitized to the whole thing. It would be hardest for Emmett, who's the newest member of the family, but even he could do it, I think."

"So they don't hunt humans and you don't hunt vampires."

Ellie grinned. "You got it."

Noah shook his head and barked out a laugh. "This is absurd."

Ellie chuckled. "And as if my family wasn't absurd and unnatural enough, you have to come around and throw yourself into the mix."

"Yeah, a werewolf who refuses to hunt the things it's designed to kill."

"You fit right in with us," Ellie said with a lopsided smile. "What a bunch of misfits we are."

"How did you know?" Noah asked quietly after awhile. "How did you figure it all out?"

"Edward." She hesitated for a moment. "It gets a little weirder. Like I can heal myself, Edward can read minds. And for whatever reason, I can read his mind, but no one else's. So when he met you tonight, he saw everything you were thinking. And then I saw everything he was thinking once I got home." She stopped and gnawed at her lip, watching Noah's shocked face. "Is that too much?"

He thought about it for a moment. "My… brothers and I can do something like that, too. Except we can only read each other's thoughts and feelings, and we can only do it when we're in wolf form. It's pretty horrible, actually. I couldn't imagine how Edward feels, hearing everyone's business."

"I think there's a reason why he's so withdrawn," Ellie laughed. "In my family, we're all over it, to a point. We accept that there are no secrets between us. We try to watch what we're thinking when we can. Rosalie has the hardest time with it, but after all this time, I think Edward's done being shocked over what Rose thinks."

"I get the impression that Rose is the kind of person who has no problem saying what she's thinking anyways," Noah said with a smile.

"True," Ellie agreed. She reached for Noah's warm hand, and held it between two of hers. "I like that I can tell you everything now. And I like that it doesn't freak you out."

"I know. Me too," Noah said with a sigh. "It was killing me not being able to be honest with you, Len. And then I was worrying about you being with vampires… But now it seems that they're the ones that I should have been worrying about," he said with a smile.

"So what do we do now?" she asked. "Your family wants to kill my family."

Noah sighed, and rubbed his eyes before running a hand through his dripping wet hair. "I don't know what to tell you. You're safe, because I imprinted. I will do everything in my power to keep the others safe, too, Len. That's all I can promise, for now."

Ellie nodded, looking at the hand she held fast between hers. She traced his massive knuckles, imagining them as four mountains in a range. "My family considered leaving tonight."

"What?" Noah was alarmed, and Ellie felt his massive fist shake slightly. He took a deep, calming breath. "What do you mean, they considered leaving?"

Ellie watched him out of the corner of her eyes. "That's what we have to do every so often. When someone comes too close to figuring out what we are, or if we think we're in some kind of danger." She sighed. "When I said I wouldn't leave you, they said you could come with us."

He looked at her for a long moment. "I would do it."

"Noah, I couldn't make you leave your family just because of me. I couldn't live with myself knowing I was the reason your family was torn apart."

Noah smiled sadly, and kissed the hand that was now trapped between his, holding it up to his mouth as he spoke. "Len, I don't think you quite understand the complexity of what I feel for you. You are my earth and my moon and my stars, Lenny. When I saw you that first day in the meadow, my entire life was turned upside-down. No, that's not quite right," he corrected automatically. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he searched for the right words. "My entire life was flipped right-side up, finally. I had been wandering without a purpose, without a reason to live. I didn't quite belong anywhere—not on the reservation, not at school… And then I saw you, and suddenly everything made sense. You are the reason that I'm here, Len. I would follow you to the ends of the earth. Nothing else is as important in my life as you. Nothing else matters."

Ellie was speechless for one of the few times in her life. She leaned into him and kissed him softly. "I love you, Noah Black," she whispered, pressing her forehead to his. The rain made him smell even better than usual.

Noah gave her a cheeky grin. "Of course you do. Who wouldn't love someone who thought they were the center of the universe?"

Ellie laughed and kissed him again.


	12. Make Me Better

_I'm a movement by myself  
But I'm a force when we're together  
Baby, I'm good all by myself  
But baby you, you make me better_

- Fabolous (feat. Ne-Yo)

* * *

Noah Black soon became a prominent staple in the Cullen house, much to Edward's chagrin. Noah and Ellie had become inseparable, and every waking moment that Ellie wasn't at the hospital working alongside Carlisle, she spent with Noah. Her family was still supportive of Noah and was curious about his life and the tribe's legends. Edward, of course, was the most hesitant to accept their relationship, but then again, that was Edward, she realized. Always cynical and questioning everything.

Although her house was no longer off limits to Noah, she knew that his scent made her family uncomfortable. Between that and Edward's unwelcoming nature, they generally spent their time exploring the forest or the beach. One memorable afternoon was spent near Mount St. Helen's volcano. Ellie was euphoric. Everything seemed to be going so perfectly in her life at the moment, like it had been some kind of puzzle waiting to be put together all these years.

Ellie was humming to herself at the hospital one morning, filing away paperwork when she saw Noah come out of Carlisle's office. They were both laughing, and she did a double take. How had he gotten past her? He must have waited until she was seeing a patient.

"Noah? What are you doing here?" He kissed her in greeting, and Carlisle beamed behind them. Ellie's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What's going on?"

"Nothing at all, darling. Noah was just stopping by," Carlisle explained, a grin still wide on his face.

One eyebrow quirked upward disbelievingly, and Noah chuckled, mussing her hair slightly.

"Lenny, curiosity killed the cat, didn't you know? I'll see you when you're done with your shift today."

"Where are you going?"

"You'll see soon enough." He kissed her on the forehead. "Thank you," he added to Carlisle, clapping him on the back. "It means a lot to me."

"What means a lot to him?" Ellie demanded as Noah bounded out the front doors.

"You'll see after work," Carlisle smiled.

The rest of the day could not have moved slower. Ellie thought she would jump out of her skin if she had to wait anymore, but sure enough, Noah's truck pulled up perfectly on time. She called out a farewell to her co-workers and Carlisle as she ran to the truck, not bothering to wait for Noah to get out. The sky was getting darker, and Ellie could tell the sun was just beginning to set behind the clouds.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on, or are you going to have me explode first?" She demanded as soon as she knew he was within hearing distance.

"You'll see soon enough," he said maddeningly, still beating her to the passenger side door.

She paid close attention to where they were driving. They had driven north past the reservation and her family's home, and were on a road that followed the coastline. Although it was dusk, she could still see the amazing vista, the little islands out in the middle of the wide expanse of ocean, the evergreen trees that lined the distant shores. It was almost enough to distract her from the situation at hand.

Almost.

"Noah, you're driving me crazy," she said as they finally slowed down. "Where are we?"

Noah parked a short distance from the beach, where a small boat was waiting for them. Ellie followed him to where it was docked, and he proceeded to light several lanterns on the small fishing rig, illuminating it nicely. Sitting in the boat was a small grouping of bright pink wildflowers arranged in a jar.

"Oh, this is beautiful." Ellie's voice was soft, her frustration tempered by Noah's surprisingly romantic touches. A boat ride into the setting sun… she had to admit, she was impressed. Maybe he had finally read some of the books she had recommended.

Noah snorted, and Ellie was surprised by his reaction. "Give me a break, Len. The boat ride isn't the surprise. This is the ride to the surprise. You haven't seen anything yet. Take a seat."

Ellie bit her lip as Noah skillfully maneuvered the boat towards the horizon. Within minutes, she saw what must be their destination—one of the rocky islands in the distance. As they approached, she noticed it was dotted with something white and more of the wildflowers. She tried to peer around Noah's massive form to get a better look, but he stopped her.

"Nu-uh. Not yet, Lenny baby. Close your eyes."

She threw him a look that clearly told him she was not closing her eyes.

"Fine, have it your way." He pulled out a bandana from his back pocket and smiled his one-dimpled smile at her. He leant in and kissed her softly. As she closed her eyes, he swiftly tied it around her face.

"Not fair!" she shrieked, and he laughed at her response, kissing her once more. The boat reached a dock, and she felt him jump out to tie it down.

"Now, no peeking. If you behave, you get to see your surprise. If you don't, we'll turn right back around." With that, she felt him whoosh away from her again. She pouted, and crossed her arms tightly.

"Stupid dog," she muttered under her breath.

Noah chuckled, and was instantly by her side again. She sensed something in the laugh she loved—nervousness, maybe? Excited nervousness, though. In one swift movement, he picked her up and carried her off the boat. She could feel how close they were, and her heart sped up. She curled against his body and kissed his neck. She smiled when she heard his breath hitch, and blindly continued the kisses to his ear before nipping his earlobe extremely carefully with her teeth.

"Behave," he whispered. Then he set her down. She could tell he was standing directly in front of her based on his strong scent and the heat she could feel from his body. She could get used to being blindfolded, she thought. "Ready?"

Ellie nodded, and Noah reached around to untie the blindfold before disappearing again into the night. When she realized where she was, she blinked several times, trying to make sure it wasn't a dream. Little homemade jar lanterns lit a winding path up the small rocky hill to the very top, where a white gazebo was lit up and waiting. Bright pink pedals were scattered along the way, and Ellie could hear music coming from a record player at the top of the hill, where she guessed Noah had just disappeared to. In her hand, there was a note.

_ How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..._

Ellie's breath caught. It was the first line of a poem she loved. She looked around hopefully, and sure enough, not too far away in the distance was another note hanging on a tree along the path. She raced to it and ripped it open.

_ I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_

_My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight_

_For the ends of Being and ideal Grace._

A few feet away, there was another note under a jar lantern.

_ I love thee to the level of everyday's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light._

With glee, she ran to the next note and the next until she had finally reached the top of the hill where the last line of the poem waited for her and where Noah stood waiting quietly, a shy smile across his face. She stood at the entrance to the gazebo, taking it all in. Noah got down on one knee, taking both her hands in one of his, and she stopped breathing altogether.

"Eleanor Elizabeth Cullen," Noah said in a low whisper. "You are the first person I want to see in the morning when I wake up, and the last person I want to talk to before I go to bed at night. I promise to love and adore you until the very end of time. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, yes, of course I will!" Ellie pulled her hand away as Noah jumped up and pulled her into his arms. A small but brilliant diamond rested perfectly on her third finger. It sparkled in the candlelight, and she felt like a princess in a fairy tale as he twirled her around in the air.

"I can't believe you did all this," she said incredulously, once she caught her breath. She wasn't able to talk without smiling, though. She wondered if she would ever be able to have a straight face again.

"Well, someone told me a proposal is supposed to actually propose the idea spending the rest of your life with someone and should be offered in an appealing way. I wanted to do something I thought you'd like," he said with a big smile.

"I don't think I could have dreamed of anything better than this." She bent down to kiss him, as he still had her up in the air. Then she thought of something, and pulled away. "Carlisle knows all about this, doesn't he?"

Noah smiled sheepishly. "Well, I had to ask your family's permission somehow. I called and talked to the rest of them as well today. I didn't want to do it when I knew you would be around, seeing how you would be able to see what was coming, thanks to Edward. They all approve, as it were. Even Edward."

"They all know about this?"

"Every last one. I think Esme and Rose have already begun planning the wedding. They were upset enough that they didn't get to see the ring before I gave it to you." Noah smiled.

Ellie marveled at the effort Noah had put into this. "I love you, Noah. I love you so, so much."

"I know. I love you, too." And then they were kissing in a way Ellie didn't think was possible, and she suddenly understood how Rosalie and Emmett had demolished so many houses.

Much later that night, Ellie reluctantly returned alone to a house full of expectant vampires, Noah saying he was due back on the reservation by midnight. With a wide smile that she couldn't seem to take off her face, she showed off the ring that visibly showed how bonded she was to Noah. Even Edward had a lopsided smile and congratulations for her.

* * *

The next few months passed in a happy daze for Ellie. Rosalie and Esme had completely taken over the wedding preparations, and Ellie and Noah were to be married tomorrow on Valentine's Day. Although Ellie thought it was a little cheesy, Rosalie insisted on the date. According to Rosalie, Ellie could choose whatever date she wanted for her second wedding—Rose had the deciding vote on this one.

Edward appeared to be getting over his aversion and distrust of Noah. Although he wasn't nearly as close to Noah as Emmett was (there had been numerous times where Ellie wondered if Noah wasn't just spending time with her to see Emmett), he had seemingly accepted him into their family. Noah's brothers, on the other hand, still didn't accept Ellie into their lives. Ephraim gave Noah a curfew of midnight when he spent time with Ellie, and she suspected he was the reason no Quileute guests would be attending the ceremony the next morning.

So she had been surprised when she heard Noah's noisy truck pull up in front of her house late that night. He was as wide awake as she was and wore a big grin that practically glowed in the dark as she stuck her head out the window to see what was going on. He didn't say anything, and she suspected another surprise awaited her as he simply asked her to go for a car ride with him. Her suspicions grew when she saw her entire family was lined up in the sitting room, waiting for her to leave with identical mischievous smiles on their faces.

"Are you going to tell me what was so important that it couldn't wait until tomorrow? A bride has to store up on her beauty rest, you know," Ellie asked as they drove through the night.

"You don't need beauty rest. Besides, you weren't sleeping anyways and you know it, Len. Honestly, you have to be the most impatient person on the planet," Noah teased. Ellie could tell he was just as excited, though.

Ellie bounced her leg up and down in the passenger's seat. She wasn't sure where he was taking her, but she was fairly certain that once again, her family was in on the secret, just like their engagement. If there was one thing Ellie couldn't stand, it was being the last person to know something.

Within a relatively short amount of time, they had pulled up in front of a modestly sized two-story brick house she didn't recognize. They were where she guessed the mid-point was between her family's home and the reservation, not too far off the highway, but closer to it than her family's house was. It was a friendly-looking home surrounded by huge forest trees. Smoke curled picturesquely out of the chimney, and the fine layer of snow that had just fallen had yet to melt here, sprinkling everything with a fine sheen that sparkled under the moonlight. It made everything seem magical and slightly surreal, but Ellie liked it. It was fitting.

"Noah, where are we? Whose house is this?"

Noah smiled wide. "You like it?"

"Yes. But you didn't answer my question."

"You are home, Lenny."

"No, I'm not," Ellie responded automatically, already prepared for a sassy response. Then she stopped herself, and reconsidered his big grin. She stared incredulously at him, putting two and two together—Esme's mysterious disappearances and odd phone conversations recently suddenly made sense. "No, I'm not," Ellie whispered softly.

Noah smiled wider, if that was possible, and nodded. "Yep. You are."

"Oh my God, Noah. This is our house. We have a house." She threw open the car door and burst into the cool night to get a better look at it. He was beside her in an instant, and she threw her arms around him, just as sporadically.

Noah chuckled. "You haven't even seen the inside yet."

With that, she ran for the front door, stopping to marvel at the intricacy of the design on it. The letters N and E were subtly intertwined and Ellie recognized carvings of the same flowers Noah had for her on their engagement night. She traced the smooth door carefully, and gaped at Noah.

"Did you make this?"

Noah snorted, faking insult. "Please, Ellie. I made the whole thing."

"The whole thing…" Ellie trailed off, slightly confused. Then her eyes popped. "You mean you made the whole _house_?"

"Yes, ma'am. Esme helped; she has more experience with the design and the interior. But I built it. It took a little longer than I thought it would. We just finished moving everything in about an hour ago."

Noah opened the door with a grand gesture, inviting her in, but she couldn't move. She was frozen to the small but flawlessly made front porch.

"Len?" Noah looked concerned.

"You. Built. A house. You built a house for _me_."

"Well where did you expect us to live? I'm sure we could have stayed with your family, but I don't think either one of us could handle the smell. And I plan on behaving much worse than Rose or Emmett, and they only lasted a month or so before they were kicked out. So there you have it."

Ellie ignored his wagging eyebrows and sly smile. She was still struggling to wrap her head around her new present.

"You don't like it. Don't worry, I can fix whatever you don't like," Noah said reassuringly, looking like the wind had been taken out of his sails. "This is just a rough blueprint of what I thought would work for us. Anything you want changed, we can change immediately."

"No, I don't like it," Ellie agreed. Noah's face was crestfallen, and she couldn't stop herself from laughing at his absurd reaction. "Noah, I don't just like it. I _love_ it. I absolutely cannot believe you built me a _house_. A whole house. And not just any house, a perfect house. _My _house. You are phenomenal, and I can't imagine what I've ever done to deserve someone like you."


	13. Love Hurts

**Posting rampage! :)**

* * *

_Love sings  
When it transcends the bad things  
Have a heart and try me  
'Cause without love I won't survive_

- Incubus

* * *

Noah pressed Ellie hard up against the door of their new library, where her tour of the new house had ended rather abruptly. She heard the door groan slightly under the force of it. There was a sense of urgency, a new kind of intensity that made the part of her brain not devoted to keeping track of her senses go numb. Ellie wrapped her legs tightly against Noah's torso, pulling him closer to her. His shirt had become untucked, and her fingers dug into his bare back. He moaned into her mouth, and his burning hands traced up her legs and under her skirt before he forcibly slammed them on either side of her. The door actually cracked this time, which was enough to grab her attention. She struggled to pull her lips off his warm neck and leaned back slightly to look at him.

"Len, we can't do this yet," he whispered roughly. She could hear his heart pounding against his rib cage, and he gave her a drunken look.

"Why not?" She kissed him as she spoke, and his lips muffled her words.

"You know why not. We can't wait a few more hours?"

"No, I don't think we can." This time, his earlobe muffled her words.

Chuckling, he gently pulled her face off his neck. "Lenny," he said with a reproachful smile.

Sighing, she met his gaze. She cupped either side of his face in her hands, resting a thumb on his dimple.

"Noah, this ceremony tomorrow is just an act, and you know it. Wedding or no wedding, you're already bound to me for the rest of eternity. And I'm planning on loving you right to the very end of it. What's the point in waiting any longer? Besides, I don't want to have to rush our vows tomorrow or run the risk of jumping you in front of everyone we know and love. Think of the poor priest, for goodness' sake."

Noah considered her for a long moment. She knew she was going to win, partly because she knew Noah couldn't deny her anything she really wanted. It was cruel of her to take advantage of him like this, but she didn't feel too bad, considering she knew he wanted this just as much as she did. Feeling particularly mischievous, she reached down and undid the first button on his slacks with one finger after tracing her hands along his hot stomach. Noah rolled his eyes and growled slightly before throwing her with a little too much enthusiasm onto the new library carpet.

"That poor priest," were the last words he uttered coherently.

The sky was just barely beginning to lighten when Ellie finally began paying attention to her surroundings. Rolling a bit to her side, she nuzzled her face into her own personal hearth's neck, tracing the lines defined in his muscular back. Resting her head against Noah's shoulder, she listened to his steady heart beat as she assessed the damage they had just done. Nothing too bad—the library door would need replaced, as would the bookshelf opposite them, but otherwise no major harm was done to the new house.

Noah rolled onto his back then, and after smiling contentedly up at him, she began running a line of kisses from his mouth to his chest. Finally, he grabbed her shoulders, stopping her progress as she reached his stomach.

"Lenny," he whined, laughing slightly. "We have to be presentable in a few hours."

"Not until noon," Ellie offered. "Besides, I wasn't going to do anything. Just remind you to not over-exert yourself today, because you have a busy night ahead of you. You've seriously raised the bar of what I expect on my wedding night, sir."

"I built you a house! What more do you want of me, woman?"

Ellie laughed as Noah rolled over top of her, smothering her with heat and kisses. At this rate, the fireplace he put in would be completely unnecessary. As would most of the clothes in their new closet.

Suddenly, a piercing howl broke through the otherwise silent early morning. Noah paused for the briefest second before ignoring it. More howls joined the chorus, and the urgency of the howls built as Noah continued ignoring them. It was clear what—or who—these howls wanted.

"Noah," Ellie prompted softly when the howls became unbearable for even her to hear.

"Oh, all right!" Noah said harshly, jumping up. He padded angrily away from Ellie and went into the hall, muttering under his breath all the while. Noah refused to phase anywhere near her, and while he left her alone she gathered her clothes and began dressing resignedly. He had been gone maybe five seconds before he came rushing back into the room in his human form, snatching at his strewn-about clothes and throwing them on haphazardly.

"Hurry up," he snapped uncharacteristically and unnecessarily at her. She was already dressed, searching the room only for two buttons that had popped off her dress.

"What's going on?"

"There's trouble. They need us."

"Us? Why, what happened?" Ellie was confused as she tried to force her brain back into reality.

"There's been a misunderstanding. C'mon, I don't know how much longer they can hold out before an all-out brawl starts."

With that, Noah took Ellie's arm and flung her onto his back. Although Ellie had finally figured out the mechanics behind running, she was still nowhere near as fast as Noah, who she thought may even be faster than Edward. As they ran, Noah gave her a replay of what had just occurred.

Rosalie and Emmett had been hunting when they ran into the other three wolves. Emmett was mid-pounce onto a large bear when the wolf pack interrupted him. With great effort, he had been able to stop himself from lunging at the wolves, in part due to Rose, who had found him and intervened. Unfortunately, Rosalie had been unable to keep herself from verbally harassing the wolves, bringing up the fact that none of them were planning on attending the wedding later today, playing on their disloyalty to their family member and overall rubbing salt in their wounds. The pack had been about to attack, seizing the rare opportunity of uneven numbers in their advantage when Edward had come out of nowhere. Edward's mind-reading ability left the pack at a distinct disadvantage, so they were still unsure of how to proceed. As Ellie and Noah raced through the forest, her siblings' fates were still in the air.

It seemed to Ellie that she had been waiting for something like this to occur since she met Noah—it didn't seem fair that she should be entitled to so much happiness without having to pay anything in return. Ellie remembered not too long ago when she would wake up shaking with dread for some impending future event. She had been living blissfully unaware of what all the sadness and travesty that was happening in the world outside her little bubble in Washington. She owed the world for the happiness she had so selfishly taken, and it seemed that she was about to repay that debt.

Ellie could hear the rumbling growls tear through the forest long before Noah released her. Although he let her walk on her own, he held onto her hand like it was a lifeline and kept her close to him. As they approached, she heard Esme and Carlisle and breathed a sigh of relief. With Carlisle the natural diplomat there, it was almost a guarantee that everyone would get out safely and in one piece. And Esme—no one would ever try anything in front of Esme. Not even a pack of wolves, Ellie was fairly certain.

"What is going on?" Carlisle demanded in his calm, soothing voice.

At this, Noah and Ellie finally broke through the still-dark woods to the place where their two families stood, almost nose-to-nose. The tension hung throughout the small clearing like a dense fog. Emmett and Edward were both in a crouch, glaring menacingly at the trio of wolves. It was odd for Ellie to see Ephraim, Levi, and Quil in their wolf forms after meeting them as humans, as she could almost perfectly pick out their human features from their wolf bodies. Quil stood slightly bow-legged, and Levi's uneven haircut made his fur shaggy and messy. Ephraim held the same commanding posture he did as a human, and his silky black hair made his fur shiny and perfectly tamed.

At their approach, Edward and Emmett perceptibly relaxed their aggressive stances, and Ephraim's giant head turned to glare at Noah. Esme's flawless brow was creased with worry as she stood slightly aback from the whole situation, Rosalie at her side. Her eyes flitted anxiously between all of her family members, and Ellie didn't miss that Noah was included in her assessment.

Ephraim stared Noah down, and Noah showed no signs of fear as he met his older brother's menacing gaze.

"I'm not phasing, Ephraim," Noah addressed the wolf. "You're being ridiculous about this, and you know it. So you caught them hunting. Would you rather they hunt humans, or bears?"

Ellie heard Ephraim's thoughts through Edward and saw his concern over how close they were to the reservation. Not entirely unwarranted concern, either, she thought to herself. She exchanged a small look with Edward. She knew her family's policy of staying far from humans while hunting. Apparently Emmett had been unable to stop himself from following the bear's scent. The bear had just fed, and the scent of his blood was tantalizing, let alone the small vendetta Emmett harbored for any kind of bear.

Ephraim snarled, his lip curling over his teeth as he showed his disdain for Noah's disrespect. Ellie's eyes widened in fear for Noah, and she stepped in front of him, glaring at Ephraim as Esme gasped and Rosalie, unbelievingly, rolled her eyes. The wolves weren't allowed to hurt their pack member's imprint, so she figured she could use that to her advantage. She was surprised when her own growl erupted from her chest. Noah wrapped a big arm protectively around Ellie.

"Enough," Noah and Carlisle said at the same time.

"There is no reason why we all can't discuss this in a civilized manner, Ephraim," Noah continued. "Phase back so you can speak with them. They won't hurt you."

Levi and Emmett both snorted at the same time and then sized each other up.

"Well said, Noah. There is no reason we can't be civilized about this situation," Carlisle agreed.

"Thanks, Carlisle," Noah said quietly, and relaxed just slightly. It didn't go unnoticed that as he relaxed his stance, he shifted more towards the Cullens than his own pack. Ephraim's growls were reenergized.

_Traitor_, his thoughts screamed at Noah. Both Ellie and Edward winced at the volume of his thoughts, as did the other two in the pack. _Phase back _now.

Ellie exchanged another look with Edward. The commanding, resonating tone of voice Ephraim's thoughts were unlike anything she had ever heard. Although she was fairly certain Noah couldn't hear Ephraim's thoughts in his human state, he still reacted as if he had. His body had gotten completely still, and Ellie couldn't feel his chest heave with heavy breathing anymore. Ellie twisted in his arms to look up at him. Noah was in obvious anguish, and his brow furrowed like he was in pain.

"Ephraim, don't do this," he said through gritted teeth. Ephraim was staring him down with his most forceful look yet. Ellie wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, but she knew Ephraim's stare had something to do with it.

"Stop it," she pleaded at the giant wolf. "Whatever you're doing, stop it."

A growl ripped through Ephraim's throat, and he took a menacing step toward them. In that split second, Emmett and Edward stepped protectively towards her, and Levi and Quil jumped in front of them. The sound of growls and snarls filled the small clearing, and Ellie's heart raced with fear.

"Stop it!" she cried, seeing the situation through all sets of eyes, courtesy of Edward. Both her brothers and the wolves seemed excited at the prospect of a fight, which made her sick. Even Carlisle had taken a step forward, even though he was incredibly averse to any kind of argument. Suddenly, Noah, who had been so still throughout the whole situation, started shaking rather violently. If it was possible, Ephraim's glare intensified.

_Phase _now_, Noah,_ he repeated with the same resonating double timbre as before.

"Len, go stand with Esme," Noah said through his teeth. He seemed disinclined to follow the order Ephraim had just given, but at the same time, he seemed like he was unable to do anything other than follow it. Was this what an alpha command sounded like? Was Ephraim forcing his will onto his little brother? She threw the wolf a disdainful look.

"Noah," she began indignantly, but was cut off.

"Ellie, listen to me for once and go stand with your mother."

His tone was urgent, and Ellie quietly extricated herself from his arms and walked carefully toward her family. On her way to Esme, she walked directly between the wolves and her brothers.

"Back off," she growled right back at the wolves, who relaxed their stance only slightly. Noah groaned, exasperated at her precarious position which she refused to get out of until she was sure her family was safe. She waited until the two wolves resumed their flank positions on either side of Ephraim before walking to Esme, who quickly wrapped her cool arms around her.

In her mother's arms, anger and sympathy washed over her as she watched Noah transform into his wolf form, much to everyone's amazement—at least those who were standing on two feet. He was so much smaller than the rest of his pack, and he seemed thoroughly unenthusiastic to be in his wolf form. She knew he hated having to make the transformation, and he seemed uncomfortable in his own skin. His head was turned to her, and she gave him a halfhearted smile.

Suddenly, Ephraim's growls echoed the shouting going on in his head. Ellie tried her best to block it out, but it was hard to do when the sound of his thoughts practically drowned out their surroundings. It helped that what he was shouting was half in Quileute, which she had yet to really understand.

…. _Completely disrespectful. Do you know who your family is? Who your father is? He wasn't some leech murderer like the family you seem to have adopted. He was a chief, Noah _Black_._

Ephraim threw great emphasis into his last name. Ellie shifted her weight uncomfortably as she watched Noah wince, Ephraim towering over him.

She _is my family, Ephraim. She is my everything now, you know that. And they are her family. I will protect them both, as long as she is around. _

_You need to get your priorities in line, Noah Black. _

Again, Ephraim sneered his name like it was an insult. Ellie felt rather than heard Noah's temper flare up at the dressing down he was receiving, and wasn't the only one who watched in shock as the small silver wolf got up pointedly, threw a scorching look at the rest of his pack, and sat down directly between Emmett and Edward.

_Come back over here, Noah_, Ellie heard Quil whine.

_He's going to have to make me. My allegiance stands with Ellie, and it stands with the family who has never treated me with anything but respect, even if I may not have deserved it._

Emmett watched, slightly awed, as Edward reached down and patted Noah on the back awkwardly.

"What the hell is going on, Edward?" Emmett hissed out of the corner of his mouth, giving a half-smile, half-grimace at the wolf between them.

Edward shook his head slightly, listening intently to the murderous thoughts of the wolves in front of them. They still posed a threat, and Noah's sudden declaration seemed to have sent them into a tizzy. Carlisle took a step forward to smooth over the situation, leaving Esme and Ellie's side for the first time.

What happened next occurred so fast, Ellie wondered if a human would have even noticed it occurring.

Levi suddenly had a bit of a lightbulb moment as he mulled over exactly what Noah had said. _I will protect them as long as Ellie is around_ played over and over in his head, building strength until everything clicked and he saw his next course of action. When Carlisle had stepped forward, he had left a hole in the protective formation the family held around Esme, and now Ellie. It was a small hole, but if he acted quickly, it would be enough.

Both Edward and Noah saw what he was about to before he even did it. They launched themselves towards Levi as he leapt into the air, but Noah's reactions were just the teensiest bit faster than Edward's. Noah threw himself against Levi with a crunching sound, and Levi's teeth caught Noah's neck mid-air, quite by accident. Ellie felt the air get sucked out of the world around her as she watched Levi, who was blinded with rage, tear into the body he wasn't entirely sure wasn't a vampire's. Noah was thrown against a tree and fell limp to the ground.

Everyone stood still, shocked into inaction for a few breaths. She saw Noah's lifeless form, and everything took on a reddish hue as she seethed for a few moments. She had never felt so much anger envelope her before, never felt such… bloodlust. She very much wanted murder. She made to fling herself at Levi in order to tear him limb from limb, seeking retribution, but Rosalie and Edward caught her. She twisted in their grips, and Emmett came to help hold her back.

It wasn't Ellie who got to Levi first, though. Ephraim grabbed Levi by the neck and whipped him around, flinging him into the air with just enough force to show how angry he was. He didn't do enough harm, though, Ellie thought. Not enough harm at all. Levi was still standing on all four legs, for instance.

A whimper came from Ephraim as he crept toward Noah's body. Ellie flung herself at him, tethered to the ground only by three sturdy sets of hands.

"Get away from him," she spat. He looked balefully up at her from his dejected pose, and she growled in anger. "You don't get to come _anywhere_ near him. You have done enough damage, you filthy dog."

Twisting, she wrenched herself out of her siblings' grasp, leaving a slight burning smell behind. Now that she was free, she seriously considered ripping Ephraim's head off, but she had enough control to realize that wouldn't help the situation. Instead, she took one threatening step towards the wolves, throwing Ephraim a searing look. Either she truly was frightening or he was feeling guilty, because he backed away. Maybe a combination of the two. Once the rest of the pack started retreating as well, she rushed to Noah's side. Carlisle was there already, assessing the situation.

"Carlisle?" she asked fearfully. She could hear Noah's heart beating, but only very faintly. She couldn't hear him breathe. There was a lot of blood, and as Carlisle gingerly lifted his body, she saw nearly the entire side of him had nearly been ripped off. Someone gasped behind them.

"He _is_ healing at a quick rate, but still not as quickly as he needs to be. He's lost a lot of blood, and a lot of bones have broken. His lungs have been punctured, and for some reason they're not healing. I can't treat him like this, Ellie. I need him to phase back. I have no experience with canines, and I wouldn't want to risk anything," he said apologetically.

Noah's thoughts were extremely hazy, and he seemed to be slipping in and out of consciousness.

"Noah?" she tried tentatively. His focus flickered briefly at the sound of her voice, and his dark eyes that were still so human in this form searched for her. She reached a careful hand for his bloodied cheek, and stroked it tenderly. "Noah, baby, you have to phase back. Listen to me, Noah. You have to change back. For me. Please, Noah, do this one last thing for me."

With great effort, Noah raised his head and looked at her pointedly. She backed up slightly, and Carlisle followed suit. Noah squeezed his eyes shut, and whining loudly, he slowly turned himself back into a human. The wounds wrapped across his entire body, and he looked completely gruesome. She could barely recognize him. Blood was still flowing from his neck, and it appeared most of the skin on his torso had been ripped off. In certain areas, Ellie could see what must be his muscles. His whines had been turned into moans, which were gurgling unpleasantly as he struggled to breathe.

Carlisle seemed more comfortable with his situation now, and swiftly went to work, straightening the bones in his arms and legs and securing them tightly with strips of his own shirt. Ellie's job was to keep him from bleeding out, and she pressed two fingers into the wound in his neck, stopping the flow from his veins, trying not to think too much about what she was doing.

The rest of her family stood behind them, Emmett and Edward offering scraps of fabric from their shirts when requested by Carlisle. She was surprised by how much his blood didn't seem to bother them. She knew he smelled worse to them than the deer and other woodland creatures they would rather not hunt, but watching the blood spurt from his neck still must have bothered them. Yet they didn't seem to be extraordinarily affected by it.

"I need my bag and some other supplies to help him, but I don't want to move him until his neck wound at least begins to heal. Edward…" Carlisle broke off, and visualized the certain things he would need from the hospital and where exactly they were located. Edward was the fastest, and would probably get the supplies and return to them within minutes. He was already off like a shot through the woods.

Almost as soon as he spoke the words, Ellie felt the pressure of the blood pulsing against her fingers ease up. Carefully releasing her hold, she saw that it only trickled now.

"Excellent." Carlisle skillfully secured the leftover strips of fabric around Noah's neck. "I think he's safe to move now." Both Ellie and Emmett got ready to pick him up.

"I can go fast now," she offered.

"Well, the mission here is to move him as carefully as possible. He'll be okay if we take a few minutes longer than usual. His bones aren't quite set yet, and I'm afraid I'll just have to re-break them if they get jostled out of position. I'm thinking Emmett should take his legs if you can take his head. Use your arms to keep his spine in line," Carlisle instructed as she and Emmett formed a man-made stretcher.

"Rosalie, Esme, could you find some sheets, towels, and a bowl of hot water? I think we'll have to do this on the dining room table. I don't know of any other surface that is large enough to hold him," he stated. Rose and Esme disappeared into the woods in front of them.

Sure enough, Edward beat them to the house, and helped set up the dining room table. Carlisle went to work as Ellie stood beside him, feeling helpless as she held Noah's hand. Luckily Noah was already unconscious once they arrived—Ellie was fairly confident that what Carlisle was doing was nowhere near painless, despite the gratuitous amounts of morphine he had Edward pumping into Noah's body. After a few hours, Carlisle was satisfied with the work he had done. Noah's skin was starting to reform on his torso, and there was nothing more they could really do than watch it heal bit by bit. Covering his torso with thick gauze and throwing a pair of Emmett's shorts on him, Carlisle and Edward helped her move Noah to her bedroom after they cleaned him up, where she would have to wait for him to wake up.


	14. Show Me What I'm Looking For

_Save me, I'm lost  
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you  
I'll pay any cost  
Just save me from being confused_

-Carolina Liar

* * *

Ellie sat perfectly still on the edge of her bed, watching Noah sleep in peace. He looked angelic laying there in her bed, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from him. As she brushed his bangs to one side, the gleaming stone on her left hand caught her eye. She hadn't realized until the sun had already set that they missed their wedding. That fact didn't bother her nearly as much as she thought it would. They had all eternity to have the ceremony, which seemed superfluous now. He had already declared himself in so many ways that the vows they had planned on sharing seemed ridiculous.

She twisted the ring around and around on her finger. Noah had given up everything to be with her, and she felt as though nothing she could ever offer would be able to make up for that fact. She had wreaked so much havoc on his life. He deserved much better than what he had gotten. He had complained that he felt like a slave under Ephraim's command… but really, wasn't it she who was enslaving him? As long as she was around, he would be stuck in eternal limbo between his pack and her family. This was her fault.

And, incredibly, she found that she was crying. Not sobbing, but it was enough to send a few tears onto her quilt. Ellie felt pathetic, but she couldn't help it. She sandwiched the hand of Noah's uninjured arm between hers, and brought his hand up to her cheek. It was still as warm as a radiator, even if he was sound asleep.

Noah had yet to wake up from his injuries. Carlisle, concerned that Noah's elevated temperature would burn through the morphine, had been up to give him an injection every hour on the hour. If he had been a normal person, he would have overdosed long ago. Instead, he was simply knocked out by the painkiller, his breathing steady and deep. Carlisle said it would be best for Noah to sleep it off until at least the wounds on his torso had healed. They would be able to give a more accurate diagnosis and treatment when he woke up, but the amount of pain he would be in would be excruciating, and Noah would be able to heal the best if he was completely still throughout the whole process.

Being extremely cautious to not jostle the bed, she reached out one hand to place it on his bare chest. His heart was still beating, however feebly, and it was still in sync with her own. She sighed, and evaluated the pink skin on his body which was fading ever-so-slowly, blending in with the rest of his tanned skin bit by bit.

She couldn't help but remember the conversation she had with Ephraim a few months ago. He had said their relationship caused Noah pain in forcing him to choose sides. At the time, Ellie had brushed him off, assuming he was trying to be manipulative. But now, she truly considered what he was saying. It was true, and here was physical proof of the pain. As long as Noah was connected to his pack, they would never be able to live without their actions. As long as Noah was connected to her, he would never be able to have a relationship with his family on the reservation.

But at the same time, Ellie couldn't help but think that the power of what they felt for each other transcended all of that—made it irrelevant, unimportant. If the roles were switched, and it was her family that abhorred Noah, would she be able to choose sides? She realized, without a doubt, she would. And then, with a pang, she realized she would never be in that situation—her family loved her almost as unconditionally as Noah did, and they loved Noah, or at least tolerated him, simply because he loved her.

The hand she had resting in her lap twitched once, and her breath caught. She gently brushed the hair out of his face just as his eyes fluttered open. His eyes anxiously darted back and forth before resting on her face. He winced slightly, and Ellie's hand immediately flew out to the bottle of morphine resting on the nightstand.

"Should I call for Carlisle?"

He gave her a small smile, and slowly reached for her, pulling her onto his chest. "I'm fine for the moment." His voice was hoarse, and he closed his eyes again, taking in a ragged breath. With his good hand, he ran his fingers slowly through her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling like she could cry again.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, seeming to struggle as he tried to sit up on the pillows to look at her. She stopped him, and sat up herself instead. A concerned hand reached up for her cheek, which was wet. "Is everyone else okay?"

"Yes. But you're not," she said quietly, placing her small hand over his.

"I'll be fine," he said in a weak whisper. "You're here," he said simply.

"I'm sorry, Noah," she rushed. "I'm so, so sorry I did this to you."

He frowned. "Lenny, you did not do this to me," he said severely, and he winced again with the effort it took to speak. "Levi did this, Len, not you."

"But if I wasn't around, this would never have happened."

"Stop that," he said firmly, but broke off coughing.

Carlisle and Esme came in then, and Noah threw her a stern look. Ellie scooted over on the bed to give Carlisle room to examine him. Esme was carrying a pot of something liquid and steamy—soup of some kind, she realized with a swell of appreciation for her mother.

"How do you feel?" Carlisle asked Noah as he assessed the healing done.

"Like a train hit me, Doc," Noah said with a small smile.

"Well, it seems you're healing at good rate now. I'd like for you to stay in bed for the rest of the night, though. Try to sleep it off, and we'll see how you feel again in the morning." Carlisle reached to pull off Noah's bandages, but Noah's skin flinched automatically at his cold touch. Carlisle pulled his hands away and exchanged an apologetic look with him.

"I can do that, Carlisle," Ellie said quietly, taking over for her father. The skin was raw looking beneath the gauze, but the wounds had sealed, at least.

"Noah, all things considered, you're looking good. Like I said, tomorrow we'll have another look at you and see if we can take off the brace on your arm and leg. For the mean time, rest up and try to move as little as possible—I don't want to run the risk of your bones setting oddly."

"Thanks, Doc," Noah said with a grateful smile.

"Esme made some soup for you to try. It will be best if you have some food in your system, what with all the pain killers you're getting. But for now, until your body is completely back together, I would say stick to a liquid diet."

"I tried to touch it as little as possible," Esme explained, placing the pot she carried down on the nightstand, along with a bowl and spoon. Carlisle placed a bottle of pills and a glass of water beside it.

"Take one every hour for as long as you're in pain. If they don't work, we'll go back to the injections," he said.

"Thank you," Noah said to the both of them. "For everything. You don't have to do all this."

"Of course we do," Esme said, her brow furrowing. "You're part of the family, honey. And just to think that we were so responsible for putting you in this situation…" She trailed off with a shudder, and squeezed Ellie's shoulder.

"You're not at all," Noah said immediately. "I… Just... It means a lot to me, to have you take me in like this. If I ever overstay my welcome, just let me know."

"Nonsense," Carlisle said, wrapping his arm around Esme's shoulders.

"Get some rest, my dear," she said to Noah with a warm smile. With that, Carlisle and Esme left them again.

"They are incredible individuals," Noah said quietly as Ellie poured the soup into the bowl.

She nodded, and helped him sit upright on the pillows before helping him with the bowl, steadying it as he fed himself awkwardly with his left hand. When he finished the entire pot, Ellie handed him the glass of water and a white capsule.

"Tell me what you're thinking about," Noah insisted after swallowing the pill.

She watched his every expression and reaction as he spoke, and took a long time to answer. "You," she said softly, running a hand through his thick hair. "And what a good person you are."

"Go on." He had a hint of a smile on his face.

She sighed. "I'm thinking how upset I am that you were placed in this situation. You deserve better."

"It's not that bad," he said with another small smile. His good hand reached out for hers, and his thumb rubbed circles into her knuckle.

"Noah, did you ever think you'd be a lot happier with someone other than me?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes," Ellie whispered.

"No. Not ever." He smiled at her.

"Be serious."

"I am," he insisted. "Len, I thought you could see into my head and see how intense my feelings for you are. Normal love doesn't even begin to cover it. I am connected to you no matter what happens. I am here for you forever, no matter how you need me—as a husband, or a friend, or a protector of your own. I'm happy when you're happy; I'm sad when you're sad." He considered her for a moment. "Did you ever think you'd be happier with someone other than me?" He flipped her question back at her.

"No," she scoffed, offended. Then she sighed. "I'm so selfish," she bemoaned, staring out the windows at the first few stars that had begun to pop through the clouds.

"You're the least selfish person I've ever met."

"That's a shame," she shot back at him.

Noah chuckled softly. "Tell me how you think you're selfish."

She sighed again. "Because I know deep down in my heart that what is best for you is for me to leave you alone, to insist that you go back to whatever it was you were doing before I came around and messed everything up for you."

"I think you'd be surprised, then," Noah said, a smile still on his face. "Because deep down, you would be wrong. I can't even imagine what my life was like before I laid eyes on you in that meadow. I can't imagine being without you, Len. My life doesn't make sense without you in it. And if you think this—" he gestured to his injuries—"is bad, you aren't properly envisioning the kind of pain I would be in if we were apart."

"Me, too," Ellie agreed. "I would be in pain like that, too."

Noah smiled before closing his eyes, relaxing into the pillows. "Then let's not even consider that as a possibility," he suggested. "Let's stay focused on the future, on our life once this mess all blows over. Which it will," he said, squinting at her out of the corner of his eyes for emphasis.

"Okay," she agreed softly. She was still unable to squash the little nagging voice inside of her, but she found she could ignore it easily enough at Noah's insistence. He smiled at her and opened his eyes, which twinkled. She smiled in response, feeling that little voice lose its foothold as she stared into Noah's eyes. "How are you feeling now?"

"I feel fantastic, so long as you're beside me," he said earnestly.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "You're just loopy from the painkillers."

"Although," Noah said, ignoring her as he raised a finger in her direction. "Since I am bed-bound, I hope you know you are responsible for the entertainment."

Ellie looked around her room, searching for something to do. "I could read to you," she suggested.

"Not quite what I was hoping for, but I suppose that would do."

"Noah," Ellie scolded. "You're not supposed to move. Doctor's orders."

"I can't help it," he said seriously. "I am in the love of my life's bed. We are alone, for all intents and purposes. I can't be controlled."

She rolled her eyes again as she scanned her bookshelves.

"It's an illness, Len! I can't help it!" Noah continued, breaking into a big grin.

Noah fell asleep before the end of the first act of _Romeo and Juliet_. Ellie continued reading on as he slept, feeling reluctant to move from her position curled up at his side. She had read the story about a hundred times over the course of her life, but there was something about this time which made it resonate more with her, and she couldn't put the book down until she realized why this was. She had just started Act III when it hit her. Mercutio had been slain, and Romeo had just killed Tybalt in retaliation. She slammed the ancient text shut with the feeling of having been jolted awake by a bad dream when she realized how very much she could relate to the story line. Two star-crossed lovers brought to their demise by the enmity between their families… She tried to calm her nerves by looking at the familiar items around her room before her gaze came to rest on Noah's peacefully resting form. She watched his chest rise and fall gently for a few moments until the panic seizing her heart loosened its hold.

"I am fortune's fool," she whispered to herself before burrowing closer into Noah's side.


	15. Til Kingdom Come

**GAH!!!! I _would _post the wrong ending, wouldn't I? In my haste and excitement to finish posting everything, I did the wrong document :-/ The next two chapters are a little different, but the epilogue's the same. Myyy bad. Thanks for reading despite my lack of proofreading after certain hours of the night, and I apologize for the unhappy ending Ellie got here. I do have a happy ending in store for her, I just don't know if I'll get around to finishing it any time soon. Maybe by the end of the summer. Maybe?  
**

* * *

_For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come  
Until my day, my day is done  
And say you'll come, and set me free  
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me_

-Coldplay

* * *

While Noah slept the majority of the next few days away with Ellie at his side, the two families agreed to meet to create a peace treaty in order to prevent any more accidents from occurring. The treaty divided the land in the area evenly between the two clans, drawing a line right through the middle of her new house, which was declared no-man's-land. Noah and Ellie were the only individuals on either side exempt of the new policy. Other stipulations were things like her family wasn't allowed to bite another human, just like Noah's wasn't allowed to kill vampires that were not on their land.

Noah stayed with the Cullens in the big house until he was able to move independently and had been taken completely off of any medication. Ellie and Noah moved into their new brick house once Carlisle thought Noah wouldn't need the regular supervision of a doctor. Noah still hadn't stepped foot onto the reservation or phased since the fight (the latter on Carlisle's recommendation), although Ephraim had visited them several times to beg Noah to return to his pack. Levi had tried coming to apologize once, but Noah had chased him off their front yard with a rifle Ellie wasn't aware they had.

Despite living apart from her family for the first time, she still saw them on a regular basis and spent just about every day with them. Carlisle had recently given Noah the go-ahead to phase and participate in strenuous activity, and the family was celebrating by playing baseball in a big clearing Emmett had found on their side of the line. The afternoon was going smoothly until Ellie slid a little too hard into third base, which was being protected by Emmett. She had bumped into the ridiculous cleats Emmett insisted on wearing, and blood spurted quite spectacularly from her forehead.

"Way to go, Moonshine," Emmett joked. Ellie saw his eyes darken at the sight of her blood, but she knew there was no way Emmett would attack her. He had far too much experience with her potent blood, and probably knew better than anyone else in her family to stay away from it. He handed her a handkerchief before taking a few large steps away from her.

"Ellie, honey?" Esme called out from home plate, concern in her voice. Ellie noticed that she didn't come running to her side.

"I'm fine," Ellie replied, waving a hand as she popped up. She smiled to show no harm done and backed right into Noah, who had snuck up behind her. She smiled up at him and shrugged. Her face fell at the severity of his expression. He was quivering from head to toe, and took a menacing step towards Emmett.

"Noah, geeze, calm _down_," Ellie demanded, her hands looking dwarfed as they pushed against Noah's broad chest, pushing him away from the rest of her family. He stepped back slowly.

The wound on her head had healed, but the blood was still there, slowly congealing against her face. That was one thing she always found annoying about healing—when the wound went away, why couldn't the blood disappear, too? No, the blood had to stick around, generally making her look like she belonged in a horror movie. She wiped her forehead more aggressively with Emmett's handkerchief, surprising herself with the amount of blood that was there. One hand rested on Noah's chest, which was still shaking uncontrollably.

"See? I'm fine," she announced again. She smiled at Noah, showing him that her wound had healed, and she felt his trembling quiet. He still looked unconvinced, however. Taking a bandana from his back pocket, he wiped away the rest from her face.

"You're a mess, Len," he said quietly, placing a warm hand on the side of her neck.

"I've told you, it happens," she said, slightly breathless. She was suddenly distracted by how close they were.

"It still makes me nervous."

"You worry too much," she said, staring up into his face. She closed her eyes, and tilted her head…

"It's not like she's never gotten hurt on your watch," an irritated voice interrupted.

Noah instantly tensed at those words. Sighing in frustration as she realized her moment was ruined, she turned around and glared at her twin, crossing her arms in front of her body.

"Edward," Esme said in a warning tone.

"Am I wrong? He acts like she's in constant need of being protected, like she's some delicate flower or something."

"That's not fair," Emmett said gently, surprising everyone by speaking up. "Edward, if it was Rose that got hurt, I would be just as upset. I can't speak for Carlisle, but if she was Esme, I'm sure he'd be worried, too."

"It's insulting, is what it is. We've taken perfectly good care of her for the past twenty years. We were doing just fine before _he _came along."

His behavior rankled Ellie. "Edward, 'we' may have been doing just fine, but _I _wasn't. You wouldn't know, because you weren't around. Noah stepped up and helped me when I needed someone the most. You were, where? Russia? Europe?"

She could see that Edward was stung. "Ellie, don't let him try to pull that innocent card of his. He doesn't understand this life. He thinks we're monsters, just as much the rest of his pack."

"No I don't," Noah said, his voice deathly quiet. "I don't, Edward, and if you're one half of the mind reader I thought you were, you would see that."

It was silent in the clearing. Ellie was trying very, very hard to push away the memory that had come to the forefront of her thoughts. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing it away.

"He doesn't belong with us, Ellie," Edward said softly.

"Son, you've said enough," Carlisle said firmly, interjecting at last, placing a hand on her twin's shoulder. Carlisle never interrupted in sibling squabbles.

But it was too late. Edward had pushed her to the edge of her limits, and the words came tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"That's okay, Carlisle," Ellie said, rage-induced tears pricking at the corner of her eyes, blurring her vision. "Edward has some pretty strong ideas of who belongs in his family. It's about time he shared his opinions with the rest of you."

Edward's eyes widened as he was reminded of what she was referring to: their fight, which had happened almost six years ago to the day. As much as she had tried, she would never be able to forget his words.

Noah, seeing her in distress, wrapped an arm around her neck, pulling her gently into him. She held onto his arm with both hands. Caked blood was under her nails, and she didn't want to think of how gross she looked. Edward gave her a shocked, pained look.

"Edward, what is she talking about?" Emmett asked.

"Go on, Edward," Ellie said petulantly. "Explain your theory. I believe it went something along the lines of my heart beats, yours doesn't… something about me having a life, that I don't belong in a house full of vampires, and I never did. Because I cry and bleed. Oh, and we can't forget the, 'What, you thought we would be able to be brother and sister for all eternity?' bit. Well, no need to worry now, Edward. There's finally someone who will take me off your hands."

"Edward, is this true?" Esme asked, horror in her eyes.

"That's what happened the night of me and Rose's wedding, isn't it? The night you left," Emmett said. Esme threw her hands over her mouth. Rosalie glared at Edward.

"I didn't mean it, Ellie. I still don't mean it," Edward said desperately, ignoring the rest of the family.

"C'mon, Noah," she said quietly. With a final look at her brother, she grabbed Noah's hand. Turning on her heel, she walked away from the clearing toward their house.

"Len," Noah said gently as they crashed through the woods. Ellie ignored him, and picked up her pace. She was no match for Noah, though, who caught up to her instantly.

"I can't _believe_ he had the nerve to say that to you," Ellie growled as they broke through the woods in their front yard. "He knew better than to say that."

"I mean, he had a point," Noah said gently. Ellie gave him a fierce look. "A werewolf and a vampire don't really belong together," he defended. "He was right."

"Are you saying you agree with him?"

"No, of course not. But he did have a point. Ephraim, for instance, would not belong in that game."

"But you're not Ephraim."

"Obviously," Noah said with an easygoing smile. "Edward was just upset, Len. I don't think he really meant what he said."

"Of course he did," Ellie said as Noah plopped down on the porch stairs. She paced in front of him, watching steam come off of his body as the cool February air hit it.

"He has a temper, I'll give you that. Must run in the family," Edward said with a smirk.

"I resent your insinuation," she retorted. She ran a hand through her hair, which was caked with partly congealed, partly frozen blood. She sighed. "I just don't know what to do with him right now."

"And I don't know what to do with my brothers. We're quite the pair." Ellie gnawed at her bottom lip, and Noah finally sighed, his face falling. "I'm sorry you're upset, Len. Tell me what would make you feel better."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Making all this mess we seem to be at the center of disappear. Our families getting along, or at least tolerating each other and us as a pair. Being able to spend time with either of them without anyone getting hurt or starting a fight. In short, a miracle."

Noah considered this for a moment. "Not really," he said offhandedly. "Or, at least, it's an easy miracle to obtain. Well, most of it is," he corrected.

"What do you mean?"

Noah smiled. "Let's take off."

"_What_?"

Noah backtracked at the look on her face. "I don't mean forever, Len. I mean, let's take a long honeymoon. Step away from the situation and let everyone cool off. See the world for a while like Emmett and Rosalie did. Maybe come back in a few years and see how everyone feels then."

Ellie thought about this for a long time. "What about the house?"

Noah chuckled. "The house is just a house, Len. We can board it up if you'd like. I can build a hundred more houses even better than this once we decide on a place to settle. What do you think?"

"I like it," Ellie said finally, a smile creeping onto her face. "I've never been away from my family, so that part terrifies me… But I think that's a perfect plan, Noah. You're incredible, you know that?"

"Why thank you."

"I have one qualification, though," she said thoughtfully.

"And that is?"

"I want you to go back to the reservation and tell your family what's going on. Your mother especially." Noah tensed. "It's more a suggestion than a qualification, I guess," Ellie said with a shrug. "A polite request. I just think it would be nice, and give you more peace of mind. She's getting on in her years, Noah," Ellie said gently.

"I can send her a letter," Noah mumbled.

"But, from your mother's perspective, I think seeing you in person would make _her_ feel better. She raised you, after all, Noah, no matter how you feel about her now. And she did a pretty phenomenal job on you, too. I know I'm grateful to her." Ellie smiled and ran her hands through Noah's hair.

"Fine," he ceded. "I'll say goodbye to her. I can't promise anything more."

"That's all I ask," Ellie said. "I'm going to clean up and then go back to my family and tell them the same. I'll meet you back at their house at noon."

"So late?"

Ellie shrugged. "I'm in no rush to leave. I'd rather have you take time to say all your goodbyes." She sighed. "Besides, I have to talk to Edward, which could take me a while."

***

At half past noon the next day, Ellie sat impatiently in the living room, anxiously jiggling her ankles as she sat with her hands under her, the trunk she had borrowed from Rosalie packed and sitting in front of her. Even though she knew she would be able to hear that abysmal truck of Noah's miles away, she still couldn't keep herself from peaking through the curtains beside her every so often. Noah was never late.

When the big grandfather clock they had owned for as long as she had been a Cullen struck one, she began pacing in front of the sofa, barely taking note of what she was doing. Window, end table, trunk, turn. Trunk, end table, window, turn. She tried to keep her doubts at bay, sating her mind with thoughts of Noah making up with his brother, or tying up loose ends on the reservation. The nagging, alarmist part of her mind was already set off, though. Noah was never late because of the ridiculous imprinting. He never kept her waiting, and was always there when she wanted him to be, she reminded herself, feeling selfish for even thinking it. Her guilt didn't change the fact that it was the truth, however.

"Moonshine, relax, I'm sure he'll be here soon," Emmett said in his always-sure voice.

"He's probably just saying goodbye to his family. Maybe he was able to smooth things over with them," Esme said, always optimistic.

"You know he has a good reason to keep you waiting. Noah never keeps you waiting," Rosalie added unconcernedly as she filed her nails.

"Noah is as constant as the sun rising and setting," Carlisle said with a smile. Esme squeezed his hand.

Ellie looked up at Edward, who had been silent this entire time. He gave her a sympathetic look and shrugged.

_If he doesn't show up, I'll hunt him down myself? _Edward offered with a shrug and a lopsided half-grin, unable to hide his dislike of the entire situation from her, but also unable to not comfort her in her current distress. Her pacing picked up speed, and she uncharacteristically gnawed at her thumbnail. Esme threw Edward a disapproving look: she was unsure of exactly what communication had transpired between the twins, but was sure Edward said something inappropriate.

At her thirty-seventh loop, several distinct howls pierced through the air. Ellie felt her heart stop, and the room froze with tension. No one even blinked—the only sound was the grandfather clock ticking, marking each second passed.

If there was one sentiment conveyed in those howls, it was pain.

Loss.

For the next four minutes and forty-three seconds, Ellie was frozen in fear, the alarm in her brain going off at full volume, almost blocking out the howls. Almost. She felt like she could scream. Or burst into tears.

Overwhelmed, she was moved to inaction for almost five minutes, not entirely sure what to do or how to react. Sometime in those minutes, a small, but fervent part of her was hoping beyond hope that those wolves were howling because they were sad to see Noah go. If she had been given another five minutes, there was a chance that Pollyanna part of her could win. But the instinctual side of her that was almost always right knew better.

Then the phone rang.


	16. Hallelujah

_Love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah_

-Jeff Buckley

* * *

"How much longer do you think it'll be before she comes back inside? I mean, eventually we'll have to move her, right?"

"Shh, Emmett," Rosalie hushed.

"Carlisle, what if she's gone into shock?" Esme's voice was full of concern.

"She's not in shock," Edward said quietly.

Ellie sat on her trunk, staring out into the dark woods, barely listening to her family's words on the porch far behind her. She had her arms wrapped around her legs, her chin resting comfortably on her bare knees. She could quite literally stay out here forever, she thought to herself. The sun had just finished setting, and the early evening sky had a strange, yellow quality to it. It would rain soon, if she wasn't mistaken.

Not that she cared.

Surprise registered when Edward said she wasn't going into shock. This, surely, had to have been when shock felt like. She felt numb all over, and she felt like the world around her was moving just a little bit slower than it should have been. Her family's voices sounded far away, like they were speaking down a long hall. Distantly, she realized how easy it was to shut your body off. She was surprised at the numbness she felt. But then again, maybe it was like stubbing your toe—at first you feel nothing, and then the throbbing pain of it all whacks you upside the head.

Dead. Noah was dead.

"Come, let's give her space. She'll come inside when she's ready," Carlisle said.

She heard the screen door open, and three pairs of feet entered the house.

"Edward?" Carlisle called.

Edward must have shook his head or exchanged a look with Carlisle, because a short while later, she heard the door close, Carlisle having gone inside alone.

_Your funeral_, Ellie thought at him, not really intending for him to hear her. He could stand out here staring at her back all night and day for all she cared. She wasn't moving.

Because Noah was dead.

And he didn't just die of some kind of natural cause, or get attacked by one of his pack mates. No. He had thrown himself in front of a train. A train, of all things. No, there was no person strapped to the tracks that he was trying to rescue, like you would see in a bad movie. This was no accident. He had freely chosen to die. Whatever had transpired in the two hours he had left her side, something had motivated him to step in front of a train. Noah's strength and speed and fast healing abilities were nothing against a 100 mile per hour freight train carrying car after car of lumber from Canada.

They couldn't find his head, Ephraim had said. Even if they had, his body was too far gone to even begin to heal itself, Ephraim said.

If Ellie had eaten anything in the past decade, she would have thrown up.

Ellie had been too chicken to move, and the phone rang four times before Carlisle thought to pick it up. It was no matter. Ellie could hear the conversation perfectly fine from where she was standing. The Christian burial was Wednesday on the reservation, Ephraim said. Ellie was welcome to attend, but the treaty was still in effect. If she went, she would have to go alone. Ephraim promised no harm would come to her if she crossed the border. Yeah, right, she thought sardonically. Maybe she would suddenly be inspired to throw herself in front of a train, too.

With this turn of her stomach, Ellie did feel a little something come up. No longer caring about her femininity or even manners, she spit over the side of the trunk. Just liquid. Bile, maybe. Her insides were ripping themselves apart after years of not eating, maybe. She would die.

Maybe.

She looked up angrily at the sky as she wiped her chin with the back of her mouth. As if she could die even if she tried. Right about now, she really did want to. But knowing her luck, even if she could manage to get herself decapitated, some yahoo would come probably along and put together the pieces, and her stupid body would spring back from death into live everlasting.

The injustice of it all.

Really, was it too much to ask for God to take away her immortality? So many people dreamed of eternal youth, but frankly, she had had enough of it. She didn't think it was too unreasonable to ask for a trade. She didn't mind death. She didn't fear it. Not anymore, at least, now that she knew someone on the other side. Loved someone, even. _Bring it on_, she thought with another glance up at the now-turbulent looking sky.

It began to thunder, and the irrational side of her, the one that was always so optimistic, hoped that maybe God was giving her a sign. She closed her eyes, and held her arms out. There were metal reinforcements in this trunk; maybe she would get lucky, for once.

But there was no lightning. Just a few rumbles now and again as the skies opened up, pelting her with strong, cold drops.

She didn't mind the rain, though. Other than the irritating fact that it carried no deathly lightning, there was nothing wrong with it. Although she couldn't help but notice with the sudden deluge that as easily as she was brought to tears normally, she wasn't crying. And that really, really bothered her.

She tried thinking of the most horrible, sick things to make herself cry. She thought about children dying, about torture, about her mother abandoning her. But nothing worked.

She squeezed her eyes shut and thought very, very hard about how Noah was never coming back to her. She would never hear his rumbling laugh, feel the heat of his skin against hers, see his mop of hair, or be able to stick her finger in that deep, lone dimple of his. She would never be able to see his self-righteous indignity whenever she would call his truck a piece of junk, just to rile him up. There would never again be someone in her life who would be able to sense when she was upset, or in trouble, or otherwise in need, no matter how many miles away they were, and try to come to her rescue. Her fairy tale was over. Prince Charming was gone, and there was never going to be another true love's kiss to wake her from this boring, immortal life she lived.

This brought unbelievable pain to her insides. She felt like she was being squeezed, and she couldn't breathe very easily. It was as if a hole had quite literally been torn out of her heart, and her hand fluttered above her left breast, almost as if to make sure it was still beating. It still was thumping away, though, and she dug her fingers into the bones at her shoulders.

But still, however much she felt as though someone was playing tug-of-war with her guts, she couldn't bring a single tear to her eye. What was wrong with her? Her one, true soul mate, the love of her never-ending life was gone, never to return again, and she couldn't even get her eyes to well up. Well she'd have to settle for the sky to do her crying for her, then, she thought sullenly.

She didn't need to turn around to sense that Edward was still out here, standing against the post on the front porch as unmoving as ever. And for whatever reason, that made her angry.

_You can go inside now. _Her thoughts carried a decidedly irritated edge.

_I could_, he said, agreeing with her. That was it. Just "I could." Nothing else.

_I don't need your sympathy_, she snapped at scowled out at the forest, still not turning in her seat. _You didn't even like Noah. God, you're probably happy that he's dead, aren't you? You have me all to yourself again, Edward. No more bothersome werewolves in the vampire club. Happy now?_

Ellie didn't really mean what she was saying. She didn't mean to put so much animosity into the word "vampire." She knew, however much Edward didn't approve of their relationship, it wasn't fair to accuse him of being happy that Noah had died. It was spiteful to think things like that. No one in her family was ever happy about anyone dying or being in pain; it was simply one of the core values of being a Cullen.

If she expected to make herself feel better by getting a rise out of Edward, she was out of luck. Edward didn't respond with a single thing. Not even any kind of emotion she could pick up on. Maybe he was just blocking his thoughts from her again.

Eventually, she put her head back down on her knees, still keeping one hand on her heart, feeling the steady lub-dup, lub-dup of its beating. The constancy hypnotized her. She stared back out to at the forest, not really seeing anything in front of her. The pain finally ebbed away back into numbness.

They stayed like this throughout the whole night and through the better part of the morning: Ellie curled up on her trunk, staring blindly out in front of her, and Edward leaning in complete stillness against the porch. The rain had stopped, and the sun was just beginning to peek out from the tree tops. Or at least northwest Washington's version of it, which was nothing more than a bright gray sky. Ellie let the raindrops air dry on her, not bothering to break her pose to wipe her face off.

And then, just as impulsively as her decision to storm out here, she decided she was ready to go inside. She took a deep breath, stretched her arms above her head as if she had just woken up from sleeping, and got up. She bent down to pick up the trunk by one of its handles, and saw that a white hand that still faintly sparkled in the gray light had beaten her to it. She straightened up and exchanged a look with Edward.

It wasn't that this look was particularly expressive, or at least it wouldn't have been to the outsider. But with that look came a mutual apology, sympathy, support, and unconditional love. And love above all. Ellie understood that while there was no doubt in her mind that the next century, at least, would be miserable, she knew she wasn't alone. With her enormous trunk in one hand, Edward used the other to pull her head closer to him before kissing her gently, if not awkwardly and brotherly, on top of her rain-frizzed hair. She knew displays of affection like this were rare from her twin, and it made her smile a tightlipped facsimile of her old, once-dazzling smile. But it was still a smile, and she would fake it until she made it, if only for her family.


	17. Epilogue: New Divide

_Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between  
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide  
Across this new divide, across this new divide_

- Linkin Park

* * *

It is surprisingly easy to shut your body off, I came to discover. It's easy to forgo sadness and anger for numbness. Feeling nothing is better than writhing in internal agony, day after day.

I tried my hardest to move on with my life after Noah left. I knew Noah would not have wanted me to live a shell of a life in his absence. I knew it pained my family to see me mope. I knew all the sadness in the world would not bring Noah back to me. So I did my best to push away the overwhelming sadness I felt. When we packed up the house that summer to move to Cambridge, Massachusetts, I imagined packing all of my Noah memories into a box just like I did with my dresses, sealing it tightly, and pushing it to the recesses of my mind.

Carlisle worked at Harvard's hospital at night. Edward decided to study medicine himself, and I went to Radcliffe and threw myself into my own studies there, taking in the works of the literary masters. I considered going to law school after I graduated, which was laughable to a lot of my classmates, who were primarily at school to find a husband, not a degree.

There was a war going on, so when I wasn't at school, I was volunteering at Carlisle's hospital. I had very little free time during the day, which suited me just fine. Being left alone with my thoughts would have led to my destruction.

I don't know if my family really wasn't aware of the changes that had gone on beneath the surface, or if they just chose to ignore them. Maybe I was a better actor than I gave myself credit for—I smiled, I laughed at Emmett's jokes, I rolled my eyes at Rosalie's rants. No one seemed to know that beneath the surface, I was a numb ghost. A robot from Edward's science fiction stories.

The changes were maybe more subtle than I gave them credit for. I no longer listened to jazz or Big Band music. I didn't have the patience for sweet stories and poetry and more, and my bookshelves were filled with works about rebellion, oppression, and strife. My smile never reached my eyes. My laugh sounded hollow to my ears.

The days passed, however slowly. And then, one fateful autumn day, I met _him_.

I was at the hospital one cloudy afternoon after class let out, doing the usual mindless tasks assigned to me—castings, collecting vitals, distributing medication, fluffing pillows…

In one of the intensive care rooms, there was a man who had suffered extensive trauma from a car accident. I was supposed to change his bandages and ensure that he was getting enough pain killers. He looked horrible, covered in bandages and casts from head to toe.

"Mr. Dolovna?" I called softly, reading from the chart at the foot of his bed. I noted the peculiarity of his name—it sounded straight out of a Tolstoy novel.

The man stirred awake, and as his eyes opened, I was shocked to see they were a piercing shade of pale blue, the color of an early spring sky. Although they were bloodshot, they still contrasted his dark, chocolate-colored hair and pale skin well.

"I'm sorry to wake you, sir, but I need to change your bandages and take your vitals," I said in what I hoped was an apologetic tone.

"Eighth Goddamned time someone's woken me up today," he grumbled under his breath as I helped him upright.

"Excuse me?"

In my old life, I would have chuckled at this comment. In this one, I found it rude and mildly offensive. I didn't have to be here, changing bedpans and the like. He could show a little gratitude for my efforts.

To his benefit, he looked a little guilty.

"You heard that?"

"You did say it aloud, Mr. Dolovna," I said, sounding a little bored. The man seemed impressed, and looked at me with a curious expression. I listened to his heart with a stethoscope—something completely unnecessary for someone with my hearing abilities. But the props were crucial to play the role we all chose.

I moved on to the bandages wrapped around his torso, noting the extensive damage he had undergone. It looked like some part of the car had tried to tear off his skin. _Some car accident_, I thought to myself. Humans really were quite fragile—even this man, who seemed more resilient than most. His thick muscles rivaled Emmett's, and his body seemed to be carved from stone.

But none of this shocked me in comparison to the injury he sustained on his cast-free arm.

I gasped once I caught sight of it beneath his bloodied bandages. There were several, perfectly symmetrical bit marks up and down his forearm. As I traced them in awe, I noticed several different sized impressions—the work of at least two vampires, if I wasn't mistaken.

"Where did you get these from?" I whispered, unable to stop myself. I may have been emotionally numb, but my curiosity was still intact. The man seemed to consider me carefully.

"Glass from the windshield of my car. Ripped apart my arm."

I quickly checked the date of his admittance—early this morning. We probably had about 48 hours before we would have to get him out of here, and fast. I checked the amount of morphine he had been given—not nearly enough to be numbing the burning he must be feeling…

"Are you in much pain?" I was re-inspecting the bitemarks carefully as I tightly wound fresh gauze around his arm. At least two vampires had attacked him, and he still lived to tell the story. I checked his neck. Multiple vampires and not a single one had gone for his jugular? How peculiar.

"I've been in worse," he said, his watchful blue gaze never leaving my face. I paid him no attention, and checked my watch: 6 o'clock. Carlisle would probably be here by now…

"There's no need to be brave," I rushed. "Let me get a doctor."

I was already out the door before he began protesting. I was back within a minute, hurriedly whispering to Carlisle, who had just walked through the door. He hadn't even gotten a chance to put his bag down when I snatched him from the entrance.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Cullen," he introduced himself pleasantly. Mr. Dolovna's eyes popped in shock at seeing him. Carlisle looked over his chart quickly, frowning slightly to himself. "So, a car accident did this to you, huh?"

The man's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything. He winced as Carlisle bent over to inspect him, taking his vitals, pressing here and there on his abdomen. I stood beside the bed, waiting somewhat impatiently for him to reach the man's wrist.

"Oh my," Carlisle said under his breath once he finally got to them. "Mr. Dolovna, do you have any more marks like this anywhere else?"

Carlisle had mentioned on his way in that there was a chance he could have blacked out during it. Carlisle bent over his wrist, appearing to be inspecting the marks closer, but actually sniffing the man's wrist.

Mr. Dolovna ripped his hand out of Carlisle's grasp, his eyes narrowed even more. "You said you work here?"

"Yes, Miss Cullen here caught me just as I was coming in, I'm sorry." Carlisle must have thought he was referring to the fact that he was in street clothes, but I was beginning to have my own suspicions, especially after his eyes popped in surprise at hearing my last name was the same as Carlisle's.

"And you're not in pain?" Carlisle continued, sounding incredulous.

"No," the man said, seeming to be considering something as he looked between the pair of us. He gave us a significant look.

"I made sure to suck the venom out before it traveled too far."

Mr. Dolovna, or Alexei, as he insisted we call him once we got to know him, was a protezioni just like me. He had been changed back in Russia in the 1800's when his cousin, Demetri, was attacked by a wild vampire. He pulled the vampire off his brother, and in that moment, he realized what he could do. He and his brother roamed the world together before being discovered by the Volturi, who offered them both a position on their guard.

Demetri and Alexei had been with the Volturi ever since. Alexei had been on a mission to take care of an out-of-control pair that had been terrorizing the Boston harbor, when they jumped him. Demetri had pulled them off, but Alexei had lost a lot of blood, and it soon became obvious that he required medical attention. Demetri wasn't able to get anywhere near the hospital, for fear of losing control, so Alexei had to check himself in.

Once Alexei was released from the hospital, he became a mainstay in our home as he continued to recover. He was surprisingly polite and formal, and I was fascinated at his lifestyle, especially once I learned Demetri did not stick to an animal-only diet like my family did.

I didn't realize he was courting me until a month into his visits, which always took place in our sitting room with the rest of the family. I didn't miss the hopeful expression on Esme's face every time she watched us interact, but I chose to ignore it. Then tickets to the symphony, the theater, the opera, the ballet, came flying from out of nowhere. My family always accompanied us on these trips, though, so I chose to remain clueless, although I couldn't help but feel that I was getting a little taste of what dating was like in Russia at the turn of the 19th century.

I surprised myself by how much I wasn't repulsed by Alexei's subtle advances. In fact, I kind of liked him. He was quiet, careful, and proper—everything Noah had not been. He was older—33 when he had been changed—but I liked that. Our relationship was mature, and we were a smart match.

Then, one night around Christmas, he announced that he was due back in Volterra by the New Year. I surprised myself again by realizing I would miss him. It wasn't anywhere near the extent that I missed Noah—I had shut that part of my heart off—but it was still there. But the world of an immortal was much smaller and less restrictive than a human's world. Carlisle had friends that would drop by every now and again that he hadn't seen in decades, maybe even centuries, and I knew our farewell would not be permanent.

That's why, when Alexei asked to speak to me privately on Christmas Eve, I had no clue what he was about to say to me, and I had no idea why Edward was scowling at us out of the corner of his eyes from his seat at the piano, where he was playing a mournful rendition of _Ave Maria_.

I was seated in an old-fashioned chair in a far corner of our sitting room, lost in the music when Alexei crouched in front of me.

"Would you mind accompanying me on a walk outside?" he asked quietly, his blue eyes sparkling. I was caught off-guard, which is probably the only reason I acquiesced.

Edward's scowl deepened as he played, and I saw Esme watching us closely from where she appeared to be speaking intently to Carlisle. Alexei helped me into a coat (a completely unnecessary gesture, being that the cold didn't affect me), and I followed him outside, clueless the entire time.

We walked through the freshly fallen, powdery snow in silence. The smoke from our chimney was rising in perfect curlicues into the crystal clear night sky. I was lost in thought when Alexei finally cleared his throat.

"Eleanor, as you know, I'm leaving at the day after next to return to Europe."

I nodded absently. Incredibly, I still had no idea what was coming. I was busy thinking how beautiful a song _Ave Maria _was.

"The past few months have been some of the more remarkable months I've spent in well over a century of life. I always thought I was destined to travel the road of life alone, and imagine my surprise when you walked into my room at that hospital. I can't help but feel as though a higher power was involved in our meeting."

_Ave Maria, gracia plena…_

"I feel attached to you," he continued. "I feel as though leaving you here would be like leaving a part of myself behind, Eleanor. I have never felt that way about another being in all my life."

_Sancta Maria, Maria…_

"And so, I have come to the only conclusion I feel comfortable with. Eleanor, I would like for you to come with me to Volterra."

The song screeched to a halt in my head, and finally he had my full attention.

"What?" I stopped walking and got very, very still. Then Alexei got down on one knee, and I suddenly felt ill.

"More than that, Eleanor, I would like for you to be my bride. My true life partner."

From his jacket pocket, he procured a ring box. I gasped when he opened it. It was the largest rock I had ever seen, especially in ring form. The diamond was crystal clear and flawless. It was circular and surrounded by several smaller diamonds on a platinum band, which was encrusted with even more diamonds.

I was still for several heartbeats.

"Eleanor? What do you say?"

No! No, no, no! A siren was going off in my head. No, this is wrong! No, you don't love him! No, you don't want to leave your family!

And then Noah's jovial, dimpled face came to my mind. He was laughing at something absurd I had said in my memory. I had never heard Alexei laugh like that before—not in the relaxed, let-loose way Noah would have. And Alexei would never, ever, make fun of me, not in the fun, ribbing way Noah always did. Alexei rarely joked.

"Yes," I said softly, before I even knew what I was doing. Alexei broke into a smile, slipped the enormous rock on my finger, and kissed my hand before getting up.

The next twenty minutes or so were a blur. Congratulations were doled out once we returned to the house, and Alexei left for his hotel shortly thereafter. I stood, still in shock as I listened to his car hit the main road near our house.

"Baby, I can't believe you're leaving us," Esme said sadly. Carlisle wrapped his arm around her.

"It's not forever," I said. It finally hit me what I had agreed to do. "Alexei travels a lot with his job. I'll visit every chance I can, and you all will have to come see us, too. Carlisle, you can see your old friends again."

I was surprised when Carlisle didn't smile in response. I looked around, and I saw there was some version of a frown on everyone's faces.

"What?" I asked in concern. "I thought you all would be happy about this. I thought you liked him."

"He's a lot older than you are," Rose offered.

"Moonshine, it doesn't matter if we like him or not. Do you?" Emmett asked gently.

"Don't be ridiculous," I snapped, annoyed at the sudden change in everyone's moods.

"I mean, you don't even know him," Emmet said. "Where are you even living? In Volterra?"

"I know him," I said defensively. "And Alexei has his own house in the Alps."

"What town?" Emmett retorted automatically. I pursed my lips, and Emmett knew he won. "See? You two aren't right together, Moonshine. He's too…"

"Boring," Rose offered. "Noah was fun, and he made you happy." Emmett nodded in agreement.

Without thinking, and with no warning, I picked up a vase and threw it across the room, where it shattered against the wall. Everyone jumped in shock, and my nostrils flared in poorly suppressed rage.

"Noah is gone," I growled. "He chose to leave. Does no one else remember this? He _chose_ to leave. May he rot in hell," I added angrily.

"Ellie, baby," Esme started.

"I'm not your baby, Esme," I snapped.

My growls were echoed across the room by Edward, who stood up from the piano bench. No one ever talked back to Esme. I had crossed the line. I took a deep breath, and rubbed my forehead in frustration.

"I'm sorry Esme," I said in a dead voice. "I don't know what's gotten into me."

"It's okay, honey," she said quietly, her voice still full of hurt.

"Ellie, why don't you cool down for a little bit?" Carlisle suggested softly. "Get some fresh air, and then go tell Alexei how you really feel."

"How I really feel?" I was incredulous. "I told him how I really feel, Carlisle. I'm getting married to him, and I'm going to Italy with him. With or without your blessing, apparently."

With that, I stormed up to my room and slammed the door shut. Nothing I could do was good enough for my family, I felt—Noah caused problems, Alexei caused problems. My being alone caused problems. I had had enough of this.

I stayed in my room until the day I had to leave. Whenever they came up to check on me, I pretended to be asleep. Even with Edward, who very obviously knew I was faking. But no one bothered me. When Alexei's car pulled up to the house, no one was there to say goodbye.

Several car rides and one long boat ride later, we had arrived. I fingered the gold cross that was always at my collarbone nervously as I watched the scenery pass from the car window. I couldn't help but notice the blood-red sky as the sun set dramatically behind the snow-capped mountains around us. The way the sunset shimmered off the snow reminded me of sparkling skin that would reflect the sunlight in the exact same way. I fingered the enormous ring on my hand as the first waves of homesickness hit me.

If I thought Esme and the rest would let me leave without saying goodbye, I had been a fool. Sure enough, as we boarded the boat that would take us across the Atlantic Ocean, I opened up my bag to find a wad of papers—notes written by each member of my family. They forgave my outburst and simply wanted to let me know that they loved me, no matter what. That was the true definition of family, I realized. It didn't matter whether blood bound you to one another, as long as you loved each other unconditionally.

A hand reached out for mine, and I realized we had pulled in to a long, winding driveway. Alexei smiled at me, and I tried to smile back, fighting the pang that hurt my heart as he intertwined his not-warm-enough fingers in mine and gave my hand a squeeze. He helped me out of the car, and that was when I got a look the vast stone mansion he lived at, nestled safely away in the shadows of the Italian Alps. My mouth was agape. The place was huge, and seemed ridiculous to only house one person. Well, two people, now. In shock, I took Alexei's arm as a team of workers unloaded our luggage and took it inside.

"Welcome home," he whispered in my ear.

A chill unrelated to the winter weather ran down my spine.

* * *

**oh em gee, I actually finished this story. Give me some constructive criticism please, I'd love to hear what you REALLY think now that you've made it through this (seemingly epic) story! Thanks for sticking with it :)**


End file.
